President Trump recently dumped Manhattan to make his permanent home at Mar-a-Lago in Palm Beach County. On November 26, 2019, Trump is hosting the Keep America Great Homecoming Rally, at the BB&T Center in Sunrise Florida (sponsored by his Trump Make America Great Again Committee, Donald J. Trump for President Inc., and the Republican National Committee).
Florida is a must-win state for Trump, so WE NEED YOUR HELP to cover the expenses necessary to make him feel especially unwelcome at the: BB&T Center (November 26), the Israeli-American Council's Annual Summit at The Diplomat Beach Resort in Hollywood (December 5 - 8), and at the RNC Winter Gathering at Trump National Doral Miami (January 22 - 24). In typical Trumpian fashion, the famed “BABY TRUMP” Balloon from London will be floating in for another International appearance. Baby Trump was last seen in Florida, throwing shade over the Proud Boys and Deplorables during Trump’s 2020 Kickoff Campaign Rally at the Amway Center in Orlando. Your donation will ensure that the great people of Florida treat the Tax-Dodger-in-Chief equally as well as New Yorkers ;) Contrary to Trump’s misguided belief, Florida is not thriving under; but is in fact sinking beneath him. Our counter-protest will demonstrate his official unwelcoming.
The Baby Trump Coordinated Display is very complex and necessitates many participants. Just like his father, Baby Trump is temperamental, and gets “HANGRY!” His Ba-Ba bottles of baby-formula (Helium) alone cost $1,500.00, and a rental Cargo Van is needed to shuttle the more than 1,250 lb. display. Additionally, the required hiring of several Security Guards with proper gating and barricades to protect him in his playpen cost over $1,500.00. Finally, a security deposit of $3,500.00 is required to clone Baby Trump, in the event he should suffer the misfortunate fate of: being assaulted and battered, murdered, or kidnapped and held for ransom (because we WILL NOT be negotiating with terrorists).
In addition, we’ll need several people to help with a myriad of related tasks. Any leftover funds will be used first to settle the bill for Baby Trump’s data overage charges (because the little bastard is incessantly “Tweeting” at all hours and cutting our bandwidth), and utilized in the next upcoming rally.
From all of us at UNITED AGAINST TRUMP PENCE
- Charles Holbrook
- Karen Kennedy
- Carolyn Walsh
- Ellen Kelly