First of all, I'd like to say thank you so much for all the ones that have been praying for me. If not for your prayers, I might have had a nervous breakdown by now lol. Each single prayer means the world to me and I ask you to continue them.
I saw the radiation oncologist last Monday and we now know what my next step will be. Within a week or two, I will start radiation treatments to try and shrink the tumor but hopefully kill it completely. As I've said before I have the best brain tumor you can have, it's just on the worst location. Because of this, radiation can be just as tricky as removing it again surgically. Therefore, they are taking every precaution possible to make it as safe for me as they can. I will be having 30 treatments of radiation. 5 days a week for 6 weeks. This will be in Lafayette. So, I will be staying down there during this time because there are many side effects I can have during treatments. There are really no guarantees of getting the vision I've lost, back. But we're hopeful that it can stop some of the vision loss from continuing. The radiation will take a while to actually start working, could be a few months.
This is the part that is very unsettling to me. Because of the dangers of the radiation causing more damage to the nerve or brain, I can have zero movement of my head during the treatments. Therefore, I will have a hard plastic mask over my face and head that will then be pinned to the table. Then they place a horseshoe shaped bar over my neck, that also locks to the table, with a metal arm that swings up and presses down on my head. I have no eye holes and a very small hole for my nose and mouth. I'm very thankful for the precaution they are taking but this is a very scary thing to endure. I can't even open my mouth. I saw them again Friday to be fitted for my mask and this is what caused the panic attack.
I've been praying prayers for peace and comfort during this time and I ask you to do the same. I know there is a reason for this trial. I know God will use me to help someone with my story. I can only pray that I won't let Him down. Please also pray for my kids and family and friends. It's hard on them to see me go through this. I try to keep a brave face, but I'm human and can't always be as brave as I'd like to be.
Sorry for the long post, but so many ask and it's easier to update this way. Again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for the love you all have shown to me. I'm blessed.
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