Bearmobile Down

The Chicago Bears community was dealt two devastating blows the week of September 5th.  Our offense began with a sputter, much like the ’66 Cadillac, and fell to the hated rival in the north. The second loss game late in the evening, a drunk insurance-less driver plowed into the back of the parked Bearsmobile with the same force as Refrigerator Perry hitting the hole in SB XX. But a crew always looks to their captain during a storm and lucky for us, our captain is mightier than a storm, he is a hurricane. Our local coach Ditka has been a more commanding presence during prime time Bears games than Mitchell himself. The neighborhood solemnly gathered at the sight of Coach’s mighty steed writhing in pain, a local boy said:

“It was like seeing a mustached Paul Bunyan discover a gravely injured Ox, Blue”

While Blue and Bunyan were mere myths, Coach and the navy blue Bearsmobile are neighborhood icons. Using their geo specific clout to help raise money and awareness for the Special Olympics and many other charities. We appreciate the kind words, candles, Miller Lites and polish sausages that have been left on her hood as an ode to the memories she has made and friendships she has created. We hope that one day the steel steed and her mustachioed master will ride again reeking of burnt oil, stale beer, raw meat and charcoal into the lot for one last tailgate. Please help us restore the roar in this 1967 Cadillac hearse with one of the suggested donation amounts below:

$1 – Still less than Aaron Rodgers gives his family at Christmas

$6 – Miles per gallon for the Bearsmobile

$10 – Give the ole hearse one last Miller Lite at Soldier

$13 – Number of heart attacks suffered by Todd O’Conner

$22 – Double Doink, turn the pain into tailgating joy

$51 – A donation matching the meanest MLB to play the game gets you the nicest return, an all you can eat and drink tailgate upon the Bearsmobile’s triumphant first game back!


Donations (0)

  • Eric Baas  
    • $50 
    • 28 d
  • Stephen Steinmetz  
    • $89 
    • 29 d
  • Halas Hauler 
    • $50 
    • 29 d
  • Joni Croll  
    • $75 
    • 29 d
  • Dominick Opitz 
    • $50 
    • 29 d


Michael Steinmetz 
Chicago, IL
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