<div><strong>Help Launch a Game So Stressful… Your Body Parts Pop!</strong>
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<div>Support the Pre-Kickstarter Launch of <em>Hernias &amp; Hemorrhoids</em>™
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<div>You know that moment when life pushes you just a little too far?
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<div>Like when your HOA fines you for your grass being “aggressively enthusiastic,” or your Wi-Fi goes down right before a Zoom interview?
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<div>That moment when you’re one inconvenience away from either crying….or pulling something?
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<div><strong>Well, I made a game about it.</strong>
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<div>It’s called <em>Hernias &amp; Hemorrhoids</em>™, a cathartic &amp; hilarious tabletop game where the stress of real life becomes so overwhelming that your game character starts….popping.
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<div>Yes, it’s absurd.
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<div>Yes, it’s a riot.
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<div>And yes, people are going to love it!
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<div><strong>Why This Campaign Exists</strong>
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<div>I’m not launching on Kickstarter yet. While the game is ready creatively, I want to protect it legally and professionally before going big. That means:
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<ul>
<li>Securing copyrights and trademarks
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<li>Producing high-quality prototype copies
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<li>Building the branded website (QuantumPlayworx.Co)
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<li>Prepping for a full-scale Kickstarter launch later this year
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</ul>
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<div><strong>This GoFundMe is about a vision! </strong>So please don't view this from a consumer's perspective. Instead, see it from a <strong>contributor's perspective.</strong>
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<div><strong>Why This Game Matters</strong>
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<div>We live in an exhausting world. <em>Hernias &amp; Hemorrhoids</em>™ lets us laugh at the pressure, poke fun at the chaos, and bond over the fact that we’re all trying to keep it together while everything’s falling apart.
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<div>As a survivor of an eight-year war with depression and a suicide attempt, I’ve learned to laugh at life’s absurdities and difficulties rather than getting weighed down by them. Lots of therapy. Lots of hard work. Lots of retraining the brain. Lots of miraculous help from God. And I’m on the other side now, victorious!
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<div>This isn’t just a party game. It’s stress-relief-therapy with cards, dice, and a group of people who matter to you.
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<div>Humor is healing. And little game pieces, it turns out, are cheaper than therapy.
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<div><strong>What Your Support Builds</strong>
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<div>Your donation helps fund:
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<ul>
<li>Filing Copyright &amp; Trademark Protection, so no one steals it before it officially launches.
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<li>Prototype Production to show reviewers, test players, and future partners.
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<li>Shipping costs to send prototypes to those who are going to help promote the game.
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<li>Website &amp; Brand Setup to establish QuantumPlayworx.Co for this and future games.
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</ul>
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<div>Keep in mind that this is not about getting a copy of the game for yourself. It’s about helping fund a dream. Your donation helps make this happen. Every dollar brings us closer to the full launch on Kickstarter.
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<div><br />
</div><img alt="" media_type="3" src="https://d2g8igdw686xgo.cloudfront.net/92839025_175289432769228_r." width="100%" />
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<div>Why You Should Back This (Even If Your Body Parts Haven’t Popped Yet)
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<div>This game:
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<ul>
<li>Makes people ugly-laugh around the table
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<li>Helps real humans let go of stress through satire
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<li>Launches a vision for future games from QuantumPlayworx.Co, all rooted in humor, community, and creativity
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</ul>
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<div>If you believe in:
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<ul>
<li>Supporting original creators over mass-produced cash grabs
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<li>Laughing until you nearly burst a vessel
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<li>Helping a dream become a reality before the world catches on
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</ul>
<div>Then I’d love your help.
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<div><br />
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<div><strong>Once again, this isn’t about buying a game. </strong>
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<div><br />
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<div>You're giving to a person.
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<div>To a comeback story.
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<div>To someone who hit rock bottom and is rebuilding from scratch with humor, grit, and hope.
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<div>This game is part of that rebuild. It’s funny, yes. But it was born out of deep personal pain: clinical depression, a suicide attempt, and losing almost everything. This game represents the laughter I had to fight for. It’s one way I’m choosing to heal. I'm creating something that helps other people laugh through their stress too.
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<div>So if you’ve ever said, “Let me know how I can help,” this is it.
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<div>Your gift, whatever amount, isn’t about the game.
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<div>It’s about the dream.
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<div>It’s about helping me stand back up.
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<div><strong>Let’s Make Something Hilarious Happen</strong>
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<div>Whether you give $5 or $500, you’re not just supporting a game. You’re joining a community of people who believe life is too stressful to take everything seriously all the time. Thanks for reading. Thanks for considering. And if you’ve got questions, I’m happy to answer them personally.
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<div><br />
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<div><strong>Let’s pop this thing off together.</strong>
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<div><br />
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<div><strong>Alan Danielson</strong>
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<div>Creator of <em>Hernias &amp; Hemorrhoids</em>™
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<div>Founder, QuantumPlayworx.Co
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<div><br />
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<div>P.S. In a previous season of life I wanted to be a "Commercial Artist" which is 1980's english for "Graphic Designer"; that term didn't exist yet back in the late Jurassic era.
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<div><br />
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<div>To bring <em>Hernias &amp; Hemorrhoids</em>™ to life, I diligently curated and created all of the original artwork for this game. Yes, I used AI to help with concepts and often layout, but every single card, pawn and image you see is original art by a human being: me.
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</div><img alt="" media_type="3" src="https://d2g8igdw686xgo.cloudfront.net/92839025_1752968298184364_r.png" width="100%" />
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<div>© 2025 Alan Danielson. All rights reserved.
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<div><em>Hernias &amp; Hemorrhoids</em>™ is a trademark of QuantumPlayworx.Co
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<div><br />
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<div>Disclaimer: No raffles, sweepstakes, giveaways, or returns on investment are offered in exchange for any donations made to this GoFundMe.
</div>

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