For the vast majority, creating a life and starting a family is a relatively simple process in comparison to the journey my husband and I endured to create our baby, Benjamin. For those of you with kids, you know what joy they bring; however, to get where we are with Benjamin we had to spend over $137,000.00. Because we are a married male couple, our insurance will NOT cover surrogacy costs how they would a traditional male-female couple. This means medicine, IVF, transfer, doctor visits, testing, etc, needed for this surrogacy is therefore paid completely out of pocket by the two of us.
The surrogate was paid approximately $35,000, the fee to start the process was $19,000, IVF $21,000 and the numbers continue to pile up. We essentially have thousands and thousands of dollars in debt from creating Benjamin, though we would not change a thing. We will eventually pay off the loans however, you can imagine the stress of such a financial issue on top of the stress that raising a baby entails.
We hope to give Benjamin a baby brother and are saving up to do so, however, in terms of paying off our loans, we are looking at about 7 years from now; this is not including the 18 months it takes for the process to complete. Friends and family members had suggested GoFundMe as a way to help us fund the life of our second child. We figure that people donate to medical bills, special causes, fundraisers, and weddings but have you ever donated to create a life?
Michael and I grew up in North Providence, we were even neighbors at one point but didn’t realize it. We met back in the summer of 2010 and have been inseparable ever since. We bought our first house together and have two boxers named Lou and Zeus—it’s a boxer thing, you can’t just have one. We got married shortly after and began our forever lives. Michael and I knew we wanted kids, however, there are not many options considering our current situation. We found out about surrogacy and decided to look into it. The cost of such a process is beyond what was expected but if we wanted to start a family, we had to start saving. This meant downgrading cars, working odd jobs, and strictly need-based spending. We wanted this so bad we penny-pinched anywhere we could and in September of 2019, and our beautiful baby boy, Benjamin Antonio Rodriguez, was born.
The story of Benjamin:
In November of 2017 we began the surrogacy process. This part of the journey included attending conferences in New York and researching agencies that were trustworthy. We matched with an agency out of Texas in January of 2018. Their fee of $19,000 had to be paid upfront before we started.
In March of 2018 we attempted to secure an egg donor however, our selected donor was unable to produce enough eggs for the IVF process. This devastated us and instantly brought us back to square one. Fortunately for us, this woman was willing to be the surrogate for Benjamin instead which we are forever grateful for. After finding another egg donor, we paid over $10,000 for the eggs. Unfortunately, again, because we are a homosexual couple, our insurance does not cover any of these costs.
January of 2019 was transfer day! Baby Benjamin was an Embryo that was ready to be transferred to his 9-month sentence. His due date was September 29th, 2019 however, our surrogate was admitted to the hospital on September 9th to give birth. Everything changed in an instant. We got the phone call and we were on the next flight to Texas, where she lived. I remember our surrogate saying “I won't push until you guys get here!” After arriving the next morning, we were told she was having complications giving birth. They had to perform an emergency C-section for little Ben. 8:46 PM came and so did our little baby boy crying, taking his first breath.
We thank you for reading all of this and we appreciate anything you are able to give to help us with our second journey. We also thank all of our friends, coworkers, and family for sticking by us during this whole process as it means so much to us to have your support. Thank you.
Any questions, please do not hesitate to ask them!
- Jessica Fiore
- Cynthia Rivas
- Jenna Eccleston
- Gina Treml
- Hudson Landon
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