Alexander's Top Surgery

FUNDRAISER OVER!!!!! Thank you so so much to everyone who has donated! The amount raised has made me able to get top surgery in 2021! From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

Hi! I'm Alexander, and I'm trying to raise funds to have top surgery. I am transgender, and my entire life, I have felt different, weird, and incredibly uncomfortable. It took a long time to realise that this is because my gender is not the one that was assigned at birth. Top surgery, for me, would change my life. It would mean that I would finally feel like the body I live in belongs to me.

I first realised that I was trans (although I didn't have the words for it) when I was 13, but at the time, I wasn't in a place where it was safe or productive to start making any changes to my life with this in mind. When I was 18, I finally found the words to say that I am a man. I pretty much immediately went to my GP to start the process of transitioning on the NHS.

This process, as you may know, is lengthy. It involves horrible, demeaning questions from large amounts of doctors, of them questioning everything about you, and of having every unrelated shred of personal history pulled up as 'proof' that you are not who you say you are. Gatekeeping aside, it's a long wait. I first went to the doctor in March 2019, and at time of writing (July 2020), have only been on the wait-list (which is likely to be around 3 years) for a first appointment for about ten months. Following this first appointment, more gatekeeping and personal questions would be endured until, eventually, I would be put on a waiting list to get top surgery. If I am able to get funding to get this privately, a huge weight would be lifted off my chest (literally), and it would be a huge step toward living authentically as me.

Whilst I wait for surgery, I often try to minimise the dysphoria I feel about my chest by wearing a binder. This is an incredibly tight piece of clothing that flattens my chest to make it appear more masculine. I try not to wear it too often, as wearing one once injured my back so much that trying to lift a box caused agony. Whilst after 6-8 months this got significantly better, the effects are still with me, with a near constant low-level back pain that shows no signs of lessening.

I think about getting surgery literally every day. I am looking forward to being able to go swimming and do sport, as well as being able to look at my body without feeling a profound sense of displacement. If you are able to help me achieve this, I am incredibly grateful.

Thank you so much,

Alexander.