My beautiful friends! On the eve of my birthday, I decided to write this text, which is very-very important to me.
As many of you already know, three years ago I moved to the US. Political asylum. You can read about it here BEATEN FOR BEING GAY IN RUSSIA - ANDREY’S STORY , here Gay asylum seeker flees violence in Putin’s Russia or here Escape from Russia: My Independence Day
Now I look back and try to examine the first three years that I've spent in the USA. Certainly, these were some of the most difficult and interesting years in my life. I can talk about them a lot ... But I'll go straight to the main point.
I do not regret that I chose this path. But I still look at the years I've spent in the United States with a serious amount of regret. I have not lived these three years as I could have. I did not do what I could have done. Life difficulties forced me to include a "self-preservation regime", which was based solely on my fear. On a fear of being without money, on a fear of being without a roof over my head or a piece of bread, on a fear of being without friends or even without my husband. On a fear of losing myself or losing my life. I found a job, which was extremely hard for me, for a very small amount of money (by American standards). I could not find other options. Of course, because of that, I was very unhappy. And, slowly but surely, it was killing me. For a year and a half, I lived in an endless cycle of "work-house-tears at night and fatigue".
At some point, I realized that this work almost broke me. And now I am in the process of making perhaps one of the most important decisions of recent years. The kinds of decisions that turn life into a different direction. I hope that it will not be a mistake and that in due time I will remember this time with a pleasant smile on my face.
I love to draw. I really love to draw. Moreover, almost everything I've drawn in the US over these three years has already been sold. I will not be too modest now. I finally realized that my drawings are something that people really like, that can be sold. They give me not only moral satisfaction but also money. And this really can become my life's work.
I've had enough of living with the permanent feeling of «I hope very soon everything will change!». It will not happen until I do something about it. My strengths and my ambitions for this are quite enough. I know.
I'm quitting my job. This is a very serious decision, despite all the emotionality of the text you read now. And despite all the sadness in my life now. In August of this year, I will open my business and will start working as a full-time artist.
I have an incredible opportunity to open my own art studio. Yes, I will be the happiest person in the world. I will finally start doing what I really like. I will become an independent and confident person.
Why am I writing to you about this? I want to ask you for support. Informational or financial. I ask you to tell your friends about the Artist Who Dreams. I ask you to support me at this initial stage of my work. The opening of the art studio is a very costly undertaking both in terms of the efforts made and financially. Any $5 of yours brings me closer to my dream. To everyone that makes a donation, I promise a personal surprise - something very, very interesting! Yes, yes, it's certainly about my drawings ;-)
I love you so much.
I'm infinitely grateful to you.
And I continue to draw.
- Escuela Lacaniana de Psicoanalisis Ivan Ruiz
- David Mariner
- Natalia Karpova
- Nicolas Vooshilov
- Nova Ardono
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