Cancer Treatment Costs

I was diagnosed with stage II breast cancer. However, after surgery the doctor said it was stage IV. They have since decided it is probably stage III. Whatever the case, the stage doesn't change the fears and frustrations I have had to deal with. One of those is the lack of money due to my inability to be able to work through all these treatments and I now have to pay a lot more for COBRA just to keep the health insurance going to keep paying for all these treatments.

When I started this journey of cancer, it had come as such a shock I was in denial for a couple months. Everything happened so fast that it allowed me to stay in denial. I just kept going where I was told to go, doing what I was told to do, all the while refusing to look at any of the reality. Once things had slowed to a point of just focusing on healing, I came crashing down. I had no more options but to come face-to-face with what was happening to me. I had many emotional days. I went through a gambit of emotions: fear, frustrations, anger, hurt, self-pity, sadness, physical pain, and the biggest was a feeling of not enough time.

I am fiercely independent and have worked all my adult life. Thankfully, I had been saving money throughout these years for retirement. I used all I could from that to keep my bills paid. But it looks like I will not make it through the remainder of my required time out of work. My trucker friends understand me when I say, "If the wheels aren't rolling, I'm not making money."

I'm always one who happily and willingly give to so many out there in need, feeling what I do with my money is my business. I am never in a position of need. The most difficult of this entire journey was not the recognition that I was not going to make it through treatment and realize I wouldn't have the amount I needed to get me through, but the having to humble myself to a point of asking for help. It took me about a month until I finally did just that. A trusted friend told me I should go through this site to do that.

I am a strong Christian and believe if God brings me to it, He'll bring me through it. It is not going to do the world any good if I don't do something with this journey I am going through if I just keep it all to myself. Therefore, as difficult as it may be for me, I am committed to sharing with all of you the thoughts and feelings of all the stages and exactly what I have gone through. I will blog as I am able to share with everyone. Unfortunately, I'm currently going through chemo and find myself depleted of energy most days.

With an attitude of complete and utter humility, I thank each and every one of you who follows my journey and/or helps me financially. From the bottom of my heart, God bless you!