I don't even know how to begin writing this without pouring out my emotions as a stream of consciousness. I am not so good at communicating my feeling in a coherent organized manner so bare with me. There is a lot of history leading up to this moment and a lot that I can't write about because I'm out of time.
My Mom is my hero. She has been there through everything for my brothers and I. She has devoted her entire life to taking care of us, raising us to be decent human beings capable of empathy, love, and selflessness.
Selflessness is a word I would describe my Mom. She has sacrificed so much for us and would put her kids first no matter what. We didn't understand until we were older. We didn't appreciate everything that came our way and didn't know how good we had it till later.
We were a middle class family, my dad a millwright at a paper factory and my mom who worked any job she could find until there was a lack of decent baby sitters in rural backwoods of Oregon. She became a full time stay at home mom when my little brother was diagnosed with Nephrotic syndrome as a toddler. It was a scary time. He needed to be home schooled, his immune system was almost non existent when he had to be on his medication. A flu could have killed him if we were not careful. This is still the case today 24 years later. In and out of remission, taking meds that kill his immune system... prednisone is what they call it. With this pandemic, it is a nightmare for him.
My mom has been through many scary health issues, bone cancer, tumors, fibromyalgia, minor parkinsons, just to name some. Every time something like this happened we were scared we were going to lose her, but she always pulled through. She was the strongest person I know, but she likes to keep things like this from us sometimes because we worry. She recently had a stroke and I didn't find out until she was out of the hospital and back home... She gets weaker every time I see her.
My dad worked hard and instilled some good wisdom to my younger brother and I. He was not a perfect man by any means, he liked to drink a lot. In this case he was emotionally abusive towards my mom. I will not repeat some of the things he had said to her, the things I had to listen to as a young one. I didn't understand why he was the way he was until later in life. The trauma that he had growing up with his family. I felt guilty leaving my mother and little brother to have to deal with that on their own when I went to college. My parents pulled out so many loans, took out mortgages, dipped into my dads 401k just to send me there. I was determined to get my mom out and buy her own house someday.
When my mom had enough she took my little brother with her. This was later in our life. We were older. This should have happened sooner so she could be happy and free of that torment. I was happy she didn't have to deal with that any longer. She got her own apartment. She was finally getting some independence from all those years of being with abusive husbands.
My mom basically took care of my dad and he didn't know how to do shit without her. He didn't use a computer or liked talking to people. A hermit up by himself in the woods. He was diagnosed with Chrone's disease. He lost his job because of it, he didn't take care of it and continued to drink. He became homeless. He bounced around a few places, his brothers, his cousins, and eventually found a place back in the town where we grew up, to be closer to us. He passed away soon after from his alcoholism. This was a year ago and I tear up even writing about this now. Regardless of his flaws he still loved us and my mom, and helped out with money as much as he could for them. In the end he wasn't mean, he wasn't abusive, he was just sad and then he was gone. I couldn't help him and I tried.
I want to help my mom. She is living off what few hundred dollars of social security gives her still taking care of my sick 24 year old brother. My brother has had a hard time growing up being held back by his disorder. He is a smart kid, just afraid of the world and how sick it can make him.
They need a safe place to call their own. They are about to be on the streets because their current living situation is unstable and unhealthy. They are the best people I know and they deserve better. I want to be able to help them find their place. I have little money and I hate asking for help, but I really don't know what else to do. My mom has done everything for me and my brothers and we cant even give back. I always told myself I would buy her a home someday, but I don't know how much time I have left with her. I want her to live the rest of her life the way she wants to without being told what to do by others. I want my brother to have his own space instead of a haphazard room built in a single wide trailers living room with a roof caving in. I want them to be able to breath easy and have a sigh of relief for once in their life. It breaks my fucking heart to have my mom call me crying not knowing where to go or what to do.
My mom expressed that houses are cheaper where she grew up in Dyer Indiana. It is too expensive in the PNW where they are at now. I am doing everything I can to find something in the next few months to help them. If I don't do this I will never be able to live with myself knowing they never had a moment of reprieve. My mom loves fishing, going to the ocean, and being around nature. My brother makes music, he likes to game, and is a big smartass.
I know there is a lot of hardship in the world right now, unemplyment because of Covid 19 and the injustice against oppressed people of color. Donating to those causes is very important too so I know money is tight right now.
If you can donate anything so that I can help put a down payment on a small 2 bedroom house in Indiana, that they will live in I can't even put into words how meaningful that will be to me. I am not telling them about this fundraiser as my mom does not like taking handouts. I don't either, but in this case I have failed them and I cannot buy them a house on my own. I just need help with the down payment and I would be taking care of the monthly loan payments from there on.
Thank you for your time.
- Donna Elliott
- Louise Avila
- Dennis Rivera