A Daughter's Plea: A Final Farewell For Debbie

Hello, my name is Caitlyn, and I hate that I even have to make one of these. But on May 8th, my mother Debbie unexpectedly passed away from cancer and other illnesses.

I’d like to tell everyone how amazing this woman was and how her passing has left everyone and myself devastated. Since 2007, she has fought cancer twice and won both battles while being a single parent. She worked all her life. She was always the main supporter in our family. Years ago, her health steadily declined. She had heart and lung issues and was on an oxygen machine for the past maybe 6 years. And ever since then, I, her daughter, was her caregiver. The woman that took care of me my entire life well into my adult life needed me to care for her. And so for years we took care of each other. All we ever needed was each other.

Two months ago, we got life-shattering news that my mom, this woman who beat cancer twice and went through hell and back, was diagnosed with myelofibrosis, which may have turned into leukemia, and was given maybe five months to live. I had to silently grieve over the fact my mother won’t ever see me get married or have children and how I won’t have another holiday or birthday with her meanwhile she’s fighting to be here. My mom didn’t even get a full month of being healthy before her health declined. We were in and out of the hospital since April. And she fought the entire time till May 8th when she passed away from multi-organ failure. I lost her just DAYS before Mother’s Day. She was only 66 years old.

No amount of words I can write can tell you how amazing my mom was. She had an enormous heart for everyone and everything from animals to sea creatures and even plants. She really loved ocean life. As sad as it is to say, but neither myself nor my mom has been to the ocean, and I plan on releasing some of her ashes on a beach. She loved every living thing. She helped stray animals and people for almost my entire life. She was the type to literally give you the clothes off her back or give you her last ten dollars because you needed it more than her. She taught me to help those that need you, and maybe someday they’ll help you when you need it. She taught me so many values I carry with me today and I can’t write it all here. I cannot explain how beautiful her soul was, but it was bright and warm. Everyone would call her sunshine, and I think that’s the most fitting and beautiful way to describe my mom. She was our sunshine.

Now, in the middle of my grief, I have to worry about living without her. She had no will. No life insurance. Nothing. All she left me was her earthly possessions, which I hold onto dearly. She was old school and didn’t even have a bank account. But none of that matters to me. What matters is that my biggest support is gone and I don’t know what to do or where to start without her advice and guidance.

I have no way to support myself without her. I am jobless because caring for her WAS MY JOB. I cannot peacefully grieve for my mother because of financial issues and hardships, and it’s breaking me. I need time to grieve before I can focus on myself and start my life. Her last words to me were along the lines of her wanting me to be okay and how she needs me to be okay when she was gone. And how can I be okay right now when my everything is gone and I have no way to support myself? How do I start a life while trying to grieve the loss of the biggest part of my life? I sit here with so many questions and I’m honestly so scared. But I have to try my best to be okay for her. And it’s been tough.

Now, I hate that I have to ask for help, but even the smallest amount will help ease the financial strains I am dealing with while trying to grieve. And it’s so hard having to start my life at almost 29 years old without my biggest supporter. It’s hard to write any of this without breaking down with every sentence I write. I cannot express how much I appreciate everyone that could donate; even the smallest amount helps. The funds will be used to help me get my life together during this difficult time and ensure my mom gets put to rest peacefully. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Much love.

-Caitlyn-