Tracy's Tough Times

Hello Beautiful people I have put together this Gofundme page to share with you a little bit about what has been going on with me, because at this point I am in dire need of your help & support. I really didn't want to have to tell or burden anyone about any of this I guess because I am just humiliated. But 4 months ago my husband Jason left me and disappeared. I have not heard a word from him since 6/4 we were living in CO and I was in CA for doctor appts when I noticed that he was going through money and contacting drug dealers. I recognized this behaviour sadly through 6 1/2 yrs of prior experience with him. After we were married and far too late I had found out he had a previous history with a heroin addiction. I tried my best in all these years suffering mental and verbal abuse, and horrible hurtful behavior that comes with drug addiction. I spent thousands on doctors and withdrawal medicines but in the end nothing worked. Once I noticed these activities I took my rental car and drove all the way back to CO. He was working in the oil fields and I felt clearly endangering lives working a dangerous job under the influence. If that was the case and it was, only so much worse that I could have imagined. Anyway we had to leave there obviously. I tried to get him help I stood by him and forgave him again. I figured for better or worse in sickness and in health. I had no idea he would do this . I just don't know how I got to a place so weak and pathetic that I could allow myself to be treated and abused so badly for so long. A few yrs. ago I was injured at work. I had 3 major surgeries and 6 minor nerve block procedures. However I  am now permanently and 100% disabled as a result. I was a successful Senior Mortgage Underwriter almost 20 yrs. I was not prepared for any of this to happen to me and have so much loss.
Anyway back to my point. At the time he disappeared it had been only one week after my EDD temporary disability ran out, We were over $900 overdrawn in our bank account and struggling. I was waiting for my SSDI to be approved, which could take months.  Our cars were already  reposessed. We got a 30 yr old $400 car in CO  that was in his name.  So even though he left me in the car I couldn't sell it and it was already 2 months delinquent in registration. Then what I considered worst of all, Our storage had not been paid for 2 months and they could sell everything I own including my recently deceased mother's things. All I had left of her in the world. The storage too was in his name alone. But I went there and begged them not to take it and they agreed. I had to give them 1/2 the income I had left. The work comp draw I take against my eventual settlement $580 every 2 weeks and  I gave them $250 of it each time which left me homeless literally!!! So for the last 4 months I have lived in my car, then in a tent in a tunnel under a bridge NO JOKE !! It was dark and scary and every horrible aweful thing you can think of has happened to me in these months. I have become literally dead inside. But I just can't lose my mom. It is more than I can bare. I almost had it all paid and on Aug. 24th a crazy homeless girl assaulted me . She beat me in the head and face with a huge branch and tried to stab me and then punched me over and over in the right temple until I couldn't see, and was throwing up and left bloody. She was arrested for attempted murder but I ended up with serious  injuries  including a very bad cerebral concussion a broken hand and minor lacerations to my face. While recovering my car was towed and the day I was attacked I missed a payment for the storage and they took it. I am devastated beyond words. However after speaking to them. the woman who has been nothing but kind to me informed me I have the right to pay the entire  balance up to the day before the auction. Mind you they don't have to deal with me at all but she just can't believe what my husband has done to me. Now its back up over $1,825, with all the fees incured.I only have 7 days left. This is my main goal and I'm clearly desperate. But once that is resolved  I'd love to get some type of vehicle that is mine alone, and into a place of my own, so I can get back on my feet. But that's hard to do, when you're disabled, and as I'm learning coming from Homelessness.  I'm sure you understand. It occurred to me if I Reached out to all my friends and they all contributed just a little even $25 or whatever they can afford I could still make it! But sadly, many have turned their backs on me, when I needed them most. But I have faith and hope and trust God that I can believe in a miricle. So that's it. I'm sorry to burden you all,  and I'm most sorry to have to ask for your help but I'm truly without options and I am greatly in need of your help or if not than your love, prayers and support at what I know is the end God willing of this nightmare. I love you all thanks for reading all of this, and if you can donate I really appreciate anything that you can provide! Thanks so much!!!