She died well, surrounded by loving family and as pain free as possible, despite the horrors of bed-ridden Alzheimer's that irrevocably set in a couple of months prior to her death. Although she died well surrounded by loving family and I wasn't there. She will be buried well, surrounded by loving family and I plan to be there. She will be buried beside my father, the man she loved well for their 60 years of marriage.
Death sucks and being far, far away from the people in mourning double sucks: I am not with those who are mourning. I'm not with those who gather around food and photos and memories. I'm the hole, the absence, the space. I'm not with "˜my people' when I should.
I believe in eternity and redemption and heaven and healing but death still hurts, though the sting carries hope, and tonight as I sip my hot ginger tea, I salt the water with tears. Death hovers like a cold dark shroud and when people gather beneath it, together, they keep each other warm.
I am asking for any help you are able to give in order to help us provide my mother a proper memorial service. She was a wonderful, caring, hard working person. She was a mother, grandmother, friend and the glue that kept our family together. My hope is that I can give her the funeral that exemplifies all that she was to me and the rest of our family.
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