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My Journey For Love In New Zealand

Our Story

Hello everyone, my name is Danny Rader. In mid to late 2017, I reached out in the LGBT subreddit on Reddit, asking for help and advice on coming to terms with my sexuality and overcoming the toxicity of living with my stepfather and its effects on my health. I was looking for help with accepting who I was as a gay man from people like myself. Out of the few people that responded, Kyle Robertson from the island country of New Zealand was the first.

He offered support and we exchanged several messages before switching over to private chat to carry on our conversation. What we shared was founded in support, but from that initial support a friendship developed in which we were both able to be there for each other. The prospect of dating came up over time and, after much real talk regarding feasibility, we both agreed to give dating a shot.

Life as Kyle’s boyfriend, even at a distance, has been a life I never imagined possible. Making him happy brings me untold joy and having the chance to continue doing that for the rest of my life in person is more than I could ever ask for. Before meeting Kyle, I never thought anyone would love and appreciate me for who I was after everything I’d been through. Now I wake up and go to bed feeling loved. I have someone to say good night and good morning to, and a friend I can talk to through the late hours of the night.

The truth is, we love each other. We have both acknowledged the reality of how rare our situation is and how it will be a big adjustment transitioning from long distance to being together in person, but we want to do everything to make being together work. Since I finish my Bachelor’s degree in April and he in November, I have decided to travel to New Zealand to be with him while he finishes his studies and beyond. Since this venture is so costly, we have come up with multiple plans (and backup plans) to make being and staying together as seamless a process as we can.

I’d like to also take this opportunity to briefly introduce the two of us, what we’re studying, and why we want to be together:

This is me:

And this is Kyle:

The Plan

Step 1: I leave for New Zealand on May 9th

- Since the length of my trip is unknown, I have decided to (and already purchased) a one way ticket. It’s risky, but ultimately saves me a lot of money if things work out as well as we both hope they will.

Step 2: Visit New Zealand on a General Visitor Visa

- This will allow me to stay up to a maximum of 9 months and give Kyle and I ample time to get to know each other and make a decision together as to our future. If all goes well, we will move on to Step 3 about three months into my stay to help replenish lost funds.

Step 3: Apply for a Partner of a New Zealander Work Visa

- This will extend my allowed stay up to a maximum of 2 years and allow me to begin replacing the money I brought and spent up this point. If this goes as planned and we realize that a life together is our future, we will proceed to the fourth and final step.

Step 4: Apply for a Partner of a New Zealander Residence Visa

- After a year of partnership together in New Zealand, I can apply for residence in New Zealand as Kyle’s partner. This grants me permanent residence in his country so long as we remain together as a couple.

The Costs

The fact is Kyle and I will both be college students (though I will have recently graduated). I picked up a job and am working while finishing my final semester of school to save up, but I need additional funds to help make sure this goes smoothly.

These are the costs that I am trying to prepare for:

- Rent
- Food
- Utilities
- Petrol/Gas
- Driving lessons and obtaining my license in NZ.
- Step 3 and 4 Visa application costs and expenses
- Health Insurance to cover general care
- Clothes (I’ve lost 130 pounds in the last year and am still going)

How You Can Help

The truth is everything helps. If you can’t donate, we’d still appreciate it if you could share our story.

Regardless of what you do, Kyle and I would just like to thank you for sparing a few minutes of your time into what we are setting out to do. It’s hard to believe how far we’ve both come since meeting, but our relationship continues to give us strength. We want nothing more than to be together, and we’d love for you to help be a part of our story.

Organizer

Danny Rader
Organizer
Cincinnati, OH

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