I was originally diagnosed with breast cancer in 2014. In 2017 I found out my now, stage 4 breast cancer, has made a home in my bones and soft tissue. I just received the news, 6 months to live.
6 months. Hmmm, well that sucks. I think about how quickly 6 months goes by. At least in 6 months it will be warm. When you first hear 6 months, panic sets in. I think about all the things I need to get put in place for Halle, and how I wish I could wipe out my debt so she isn't saddled with it. Then sadness hits, like knowing I won't be there for her senior year at college. I won't see graduation nor medical school. Oh all those bitmojis I will miss out on :). Also, thoughts pop in and out of my head like "What 20 year old girl doesn't need a mom?" Then I start feeling guilty about being sad so I put on music and crank the tunes on my drive home. I love alternative music, but does that really matter? Will my daughter remember what kind of music I like? Nothing is going to make this right. We will make the best of it, and we will laugh and love, but to be honest this situation sucks. So, if anyone has a miracle they can cash in, I would love to be considered to be the recipient. There is 6 months for one to happen. God created the heavens and earth in 7 days, He even had time to rest on the last day. Let's make this happen!
So if you haven't guessed, nothing is working. The PET scan showed that I have multiple new tumors. I have a biopsy this Friday on my liver. If it comes back as triple negative cancer, like my bones, then I am a candidate for a clinical trial where 30-40% of patients have shown a good response. If it comes back as ER positive, then we start something different. However, since nothing has worked so far, the odds of something working greatly decreases. My doctor wants to send me to the Mayo Clinic to see if there is anything there for me, but my insurance doesn't cover the Mayo Clinic. So, I might be going to see someone at the University of Minnesota to see if they have any clinical trials for me. It is all a guessing game. I won't know anything for sure until the results of Friday's biopsy come back.
So for now, I will crank up my upbeat alternative music and read as many good jokes that people want to send me as possible, and yes....I said GOOD jokes.
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