I failed...

My name is Joshua.  I'm making this so I can see my nephew for the last time, because I feel as if I don't, and I survive long after this pandemic, I might not be able to forgive myself for however long I may live.  I don't know whether it's guilt, family obligation, or divine intervention but something tells me I need to be there. It's not logical, it is stupid and reckless, and I know that but I can't give up the idea that this is my only chance to say goodbye. I missed the chance to see to see my nephew this year... and now I won't ever get the chance to again. I can't tell you the weight of what I feel, but there is something that I know I will regret if I don't go. I can't explain it. I just know I have to try, whatever it takes, until I get there. I have no ID, no license, no car, no cash. I would not risk traveling by Plane/Train because higher risk of infection, infecting other people, and the fact I don't want to see another member of my family laid to rest. I don't know what else to do but to get a car and go myself...  and that's a problem since I have never driven long distances, States are beginning to lock down, and I don't even believe I can do this myself...  but im not going to give up. This would've been the year I saw my nephew in my life be taller than me, and I now I only have a slim chance to see him go.

Graveside is at 11am in near Taylor, AZ.

I had 4 days to get there...

I didn't make it.

I failed.

This will be here to remind me...

of how pathetic my attempt was in a world full of suffering.


  • Chelsea Rubeck 
    • $50 
    • 7 d
  • Jacob Wheeler 
    • $10 
    • 7 d
  • John Balucan 
    • $50 
    • 7 d
  • Leah Largaespada 
    • $50 
    • 7 d


Joshua Mulder 
Portland, OR
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