Coyle's Fight Against Infertility

Well, for starters I would never do something like this. Nor am i ever one to ask for help instead im usually the one helping others in need instead of helping myself first. However i have come to the understanding that sometimes you need to ask for help, and in dire circumstances it is warranted. So here goes nothing. For those of you who are close to me you will definitely know this but for those of you who dont, My husband Sean and I have been dealing with an uphill battle of infertility for about 5 years now. I lost my first angel baby 5 years ago but it happened to be too early to tell what the sex of the baby was or the cause of loss was. Regardless I was devestated by the loss of him/her.  When we got married in May of 2015 we were trying very hard and learned that we were soon going to be expecting a little girl shortly after the wedding. Unfortunately God had different plans again and my cervix opened prematurely leading to another miscarriage that took place at 5 months into my pregnancy. It was the second most devastating day of my life. Not to mention I gave birth to her in the hospital bathroom and needed emergency surgery right after the birth to remove the placenta. It was a living nightmare. As if loosing my daughter wasnt enough, while doing the epidural for the emergency surgery, the doctor knicked my spinal sack so my brain and spine filled up with massive amounts of fluid and i had to stay in bed for weeks on end and was put on major medications just to funtion. Which turned into the most devastating months and years of my life that came to follow. I am now high risk from the loss of my two angel babies and on top of that I have PCOS which makes things even harder when trying to concieve and ofcourse loosing weight. Since, the time I lost my baby girl Arabella which is now 4 years ago we've been actively trying to concieve again with no luck in sight. Every month i pray to see 2 lines on that little stick only to find a negative and my heart just breaks over and over again. We are now doing intrauterine insemination (IUI) and one of our rounds so far has failed and we can't afford to pay for the next 2 rounds or the IVF that we will be needing shortly after. Each doctors visit cost me atleast $350 if not more. Even if that means just having a sonogram done to check for mature follicles. Each round of IUI costs about $1,000 each time you do the procedure, medications and trigger injections . IVF is also $20,000 for one round. It's so ridiculous what the doctors will charge you when they know you have no choice and desperately need their help. I've even applied for financial assistance to no avail because we make over the minimum income amount "so they say". We've even tried  to take out loans and that never led to anything because they say our credit history doesn't reflect enough to go off of. Probably because we are trying to rebuild it. Ofcourse they dont take into consideration that we also pay for our mortgage, bills, medical treatments, visits, living expenses and millions of tests ect. Its insane what we've had to do to even get to this point. We work full time and its still never enough. So far I've spent $8,000 and without my families help I would've never been able to get this far. More than anyone they know our pain and they live it with us everyday. They have been amazingly supportive to us since the start of our journey. However there is only so much they can do financially even though they wish they can give me the world. I feel no one is more deserving than us, I made imense changes in my life to have this baby and I am literally killing myself to get to my goal in more ways than one. We want a child to love, and we feel so incomplete without one, I want nothing more than to hear my husband and I being  called mommy and daddy and knowing we possibly never will is heartbreaking. There are people blessed with children that don't even deserve them nor realize what a blessing it is to have them. It just boggles my mind, sometimes I wish someone would leave their unwanted child on my door step so i can give them a life filled with love and happiness, because at this point I would be grateful for any blessing no matter what shape or form. We also discussed that if our attempts do not grant us a biological child in the end we would definitely love to adopt, we will try our best on our own with the help of the specialists first and if we do not succeed we will then dive into the adoption realm. So please if you can relate to my situation in any way possible or you have gone through this yourself I would so greatly appreciate the help. This is so difficult for me to do and is a major hit to my pride because anyone who knows me knows that I am the last person to ask for help or put myself in the lime light this way. It's only my desparation and last ditch effort of hope that im holding onto which got me to muster up enough courage to do this. We are literally at rock bottom and anything is better than nothing. There is no wrong amount and even if you can't donate I totally understand. All I ask is that you please keep us in your prayers. We can really use some more positivity and healing in our lives. I also vow to pay it forward to as many other families as possible that are struggling with this nightmare such as myself. Your kindness and generosity are so gratefully appreciated. May no family have to ever endure this pain, and those of you who are walking this winding road of infertility that's far from paved in gold, I pray for the healing of your hearts every night. God bless each and every one of you!

With All Our Love,
Sean & Aleanna Coyle <3