Being a single mother of four is a blessing, a challenge, a rollercoaster of sorts, with ups and downs; it is indeed a full plate. When one of those children is born with autism those blessings and challenges take on a life you cannot even begin to imagine without being touched by it yourself. Family dynamics shift, your purpose and goals change, and you enter the world of your autistic child. There are so many sacrifices and adjustments for everyone in the family such as last minute cancellations because it's not a "good day" or the change in plans to minimize the size of the crowd in a social setting. Most of all, the battles to keep calm and reason things out with someone who sees the world so much differently than we do. As a mother helping a brother, a sister, a father, an aunt, a new doctor, to gain insight in what compromises are needed is an every day and every hour responsibility. She learns to navigate a lifestyle that she never knew existed, and becomes the most educated curator of her sons dreams, triumphs, and goals. There is no road map, no instuctions; but a trial and error of good days, bad days, successes and failures. With strength, she never gives up, never quits. He is her son, her baby, a brother, a nephew, a grandson, and their entire world.
Then, tragedy. Complete devastation. In one single moment, that world stops. Hearts stop and breath is unbearable. This world, now well established, alters again 19 years later when you've forgotten everyone else's "normal" daily life and the universe has asked you to remember.
The knock on the door, the news no parent should ever recieve; the years flashing by in an instant with all of the choices made and conversations had are now brought to question in the tragic reality being faced. With all of these emotions, thoughts, and questions we are expected to have planned the unthinkable- the death of a child. No parent plans this worst nightmare.
None of us can escape tragedy, all of us have been victim to it at one point or another. I am sending this out to appeal to the humanity and compassion of our fellow family, friends, or anyone in a position to come together and assist Bailey's family in the peace of mind to lay him to final rest. Parents do not expect, or plan, or even fathom the day that they will survive their child.
Many have asked, "what can I do?" or have reached out and commented, "if you need anything" to family members. This is all that any of us can do. There are no words, no comfort, no easing of the pain but this will help.
Thank you to any and all and Bless you for your thoughts and prayers throughout.
A Mother's Last Goodbye
- Dania Anziani
- Amy Mackenzie
- Irene Hanson
- Andrea Davis
- Jair Martinez
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