My husband has decided to divorce me. He went out and retained a lawyer for a collaborative divorce process without telling me he was doing so; he then informed me he would no longer be paying the mortgage.
I have, besides periods of illness, always been the caretaker in my family. I have worked part time and gone to school, but I have always been with my children either full or part time until I became really ill last March. Now, I am better again, and am going back into being a stay-at-home mother. Any money I have ever over the years since my husband and I had children has gone directly to my husband to support our household.
I am not interested in passing judgement on my husband, nor on his decision to end our marriage, though what I can say is that I have been given little information as to his reasons.
The basis of the matter is that though we had spoken about his choice to end the marriage, we had not decided on a time frame. I was totally caught off guard when my husband went out and retained a lawyer. He is refusing, despite my contribution as a caretaker and the part-time wages I have provided over the years, to give me any help towards retaining my own lawyer. I have until October 30th to make this happen, which means I need to come up with almost $4,000.
In the meantime, I have been freelance writing and doing tarot readings trying to get the funds. Since I do not really have a lot of income on my own, I cannot get a bankloan. Thus, as a last (and highly embarrasing resort,) I am reaching out in this way. I feel awful doing it. It is the last thing I would ever want to do, but I am stuck, and especially for the sake of my children, I need to have legal representation.
Certain threats have been made as to custody, housing, and support. Again, I am not attempting to paint my husband negatively. We have been married for 9 years, together for 10.
For much of that time he was a loving, caring, giving person, and I am certainly no angel. It takes two to destroy a relationship, but what is happening now is not right. I need help. And all my efforts have not brought about the help I need.
Thanks for reading my story.
- Hallie Engel
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