Adam and I have been happily married for 7 ½ years, together over 10 years. We have been trying to conceive for just about the length of our marriage. I had the perfect plan and timeline for how our life would pan out. We would get married by 25, start trying to conceive right away, and by 30, our family would be complete. Boy, I was in for a rude awaking. After our one-year mark and still no pregnancy, we decided to consult with my gynecologist. I was prescribed Clomid to help induce an earlier ovulation day. We tried that for a few months but unfortunately had no success. The doctor then ordered further tests, which resulted in discovering that Adam had some unrelated health issues that required immediate attention. After a couple of years for consulting with different specialists, at two major hospitals, and spending thousands of dollars, we finally received answers from The Mayo Clinic. Adam’s diagnosis was a blood clot in his portal vein, which he had apparently been there a long time. However, he did not require surgery or blood thinning medications because his body was compensating for the blockage. His condition would only require yearly MRI’s and endoscopies. During this time, we were not trying to get pregnant but we were also not avoiding. In November 2010, the doctors cleared Adam for his varicocele surgery. Several months after his surgery, we started trying to conceive again. We tried ovulation predictor kits, the OvuWatch, and I even charted my cycles for years. In June 2012, we decided to take a break since we would be on vacation at the end of the month. Just before our trip we found out we were pregnant. After years of negative pregnancy tests, we finally got our first POSITIVE! We were so happy we immediately called our families to share the news. In that moment, we forgot all of the pain and sadness that comes along with infertility and replaced it with joy and gratitude. Due to our traveling schedule, we decided it would be best to go to the doctor the following morning to confirm our pregnancy with a blood test. Later that day I received a call from the doctor’s office that confirmed our pregnancy but were concerned that my numbers were on the lower end of the pregnancy scale. I miscarried a few days later while on vacation. That was five days before our five-year anniversary. We were devastated and heartbroken to say the least. I felt numb and was overwhelmed with feelings of sadness, anger, bitterness. Thankfully, Adam and I were not on vacation alone. We had family with us and they made it a point to keep us busy and distracted the next week. A few weeks after, we were able to see the positive in our situation. Up until the miscarriage, we were not sure if we could even get pregnant. It was a relief to both of us to know that we could actually get pregnant. Our hope of someday having a little Adam or Damaris running around our home was renewed. We agreed to start trying to conceive again and had two more early miscarries before we decided it was time to see a specialist. In November 2013, we started our journey into Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART). We started with intrauterine insemination (IUI). In May, after six unsuccessful cycles, 6-7 grand spent, and only two actual IUI procedures, we thought it best to take a break. I needed some time to feel like my normal self again after all of the fertility medications. Also, Adam and I needed to discuss what our next step would be. Six months go by before we decide to contact the specialist about In vitro fertilization (IVF). We had a re-consult the first week of December to get all of the details involving IVF. We spent a lot of time talking about IVF, considering whether it was the best option for us. We knew it would be a huge expense for us but decided it was our best option to conceiving a baby.
Therefore, this is our current situation. We have gone back and forth deciding whether to create this page. Many of our close friends and family are already familiar with our story but we were not certain we wanted to expose something so personal and private for all to see. We would love to do this all by ourselves but the reality is we do not have that kind of money just lying around. Several friends suggested this so we decided to give it a try. We hope that in sharing our story it may help others going through similar situations. Adam and I have both gone through different stages of anger and grief. We have been frustrated with doctors, each other, and at times, I have even been angry with God. I am not perfect and in my weakness, I could not understand why everyone around us was having kids and we were struggling so much. I stopped asking why and realized that the only way we would get through this is through prayer and love. We had to put our pride aside and accept help from others. We plan to raise our child to know God’s love and compassion. Instill in them the teachings of the gospel and to love God above all else.
Lastly, we are firm believers in the power of prayer and understand that some people may not be in a position to offer a financial blessing so we ask that you please keep us in your prayers. If you choose to give the gift of prayer, please reach out and let us know. As a gift for our child, I plan to journal this whole experience along with our pregnancy and include all of the names of people who donated or sent prayers our way. I will also be updating our status periodically when we begin our first IVF treatment.
Thank you for reading and God bless.
Adam and Damaris Haire
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