Kate's Break

Kate's Break.

Have you ever wished, hoped, and prayed for a break from some serious life stresses? Although Kate was NOT soliciting for handouts, she was simply venting, I witnessed the outpouring of verbal support from her friends. How could I read her post and NOT feel moved with a desire to help in any way I can? I'm not an eloquent writer. So I will just share her post. For those of us who want to pitch together, to give Kate a much needed break, I've created this site to make it easier.

Kate, "Hey everybody- I'm about to get REALLY inappropriate, K?!!?- I'm warning you now so you can stop reading if you want ... because I am officially NOT taking any shit talk or reprimands for what I'm about to say.

For those of you who give a damn, I'm about to start radiation therapy AGAIN for my cutaneous t-cell-lymphoma- folliculopathic mycosis fungoides - you know what's fun? According to FB all of those words are misspelled- you know why?- because no one's ever heard of this species of cancer... and fucking facebook is now telling me it doesn't exist... which is exactly my point...

Today, a friend of mine (who I honestly respect and with whom I'm actually not at all angry- we're good... we hugged it out) posted on her page "I just won $7000 on a scratch ticket!"

I was like, "Aw damn! $7000! I sure could use $7000, I'm about to start radiation therapy again and since the new year has come and gone we're back at square one as far as our out-of-pocket insurance maximum goes- which means we're gonna shell out thousands for this shit. NOT TO MENTION we just found out our apartment complex is raising our rent by $170 dollars a month- so right in the middle of radiation therapy we're gonna have to move since we can't afford this place anymore... I'm going to have to schedule my radiation appointments for later in the day since we only have one car now and with everything that's happening- we won't be able to afford another one, so I'm gonna have to wait for Paul to get home from work before I can go to rad appts.... I can't work during radiation therapy since my job is crazy on-call and I have to be available at any time mentally emotionally and physically to deal with the most traumatic experiences in OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES- Speaking of which, I'm stressed out because I need to talk to the family of one of my deaths from the other day, about the autopsy and funeral arrangements, but I haven't yet because I'm so fucking out of whack over my own shit right now... Anyway- $7000 would totally help us out right now! But she's pregnant and I'm sure they're gonna need the money. Lucky thing!",

For a split second, I was resentful of her good fortune, but then I thought, you know what? It's okay. I got to this totally fucking zen point about her $7000 and I liked her status and asked her how she was gonna spend the money- I was honestly happy for her.

Then I get this fucking message- that it's all a big goddamnned joke- it's a "Breast Cancer Awareness" gag- and if you say anything about a friend's status who posts something like this- you have to post a status from the list on YOUR status and pass it on and blah blah blah...

Breast Cancer Awareness?


Like, "Oh shit... I didn't realize that there was something called 'Breast Cancer' and that people get it and like- need treatment and like... need support. But this dumbass little game that totally fucked with my morning and my own situation regarding my OWN cancer has totally made me aware of that now! Huh, breast cancer, who'd have thought! It's a good thing I know now!" (because let's be honest- the majority of people are going to say, "Oh! Ha ha, what a funny little game!" Then we'll pass on this inane little chain letter and that will be the extent of their involvement with breast cancer awareness.)

Are you fucking kidding me?

What about fucking folliculopathic mycosis fungoides awareness? What about that? What about all of us who end up with some crazy-ass one-in-a million form of cancer that DOESN'T have marathons or cancer-walks or t-shirts, bumper-stickers or celebrity spokes-people who wear ribbons on their academy award dresses? What about those of us who spend the late night hours scouring the fucking internet for ANY information at all about our disease because no one fucking has it? Who the hell is aware of what it's like to find one goddamned study from 1992 conducted in Sweden that has determined that you've got 9 years left to live? Or what it's like to have "friends and family" completely blow off the fact that you have cancer because it's so rare that it doesn't sound like a legitimate disease? Anyone want to gain some awareness of what it's like to walk around with cancer of the fucking face and see people staring at the bright red lesions and rashes all over your face- obviously wondering what the hell is wrong with you- but they won't know because they'll never ask and no stupid actor has ever stepped up to a podium and said "Ladies and Gentlemen... I have follicular pathic mycosis fungoides- my radiation therapist is going to have to jam metal shields under my eye-lids to prevent cataracts during radiation therapy. There's a good chance I'll permanently lose my eyelashes and eyebrows. My salivary glands may never work again. I'm at increased risk of tooth decay and the 'average' survivability is 15 years.'" Let me tell you what it's like when no spell-checker on EARTH recognizes your disease.

How about a little awareness that can lead to research funding for us?

My sincerest love and admiration to my beloved Beverly Barlow, who is my companion-at-arms in radiation therapy as she marches into rad for her breast cancer at the same time that I go back to my own rad therapy- I am not dismissing your struggle, you are a champion bad-ass. I don't de-legitimize the struggle of people who face breast cancer at all.

That said- this cute little "awareness game" is a fucking insult. Holy FUCK do I ever need $7000


Hey, I've got it- how about if you got drawn into this "awareness snare" you go visit the web-site of some incredibly random, never-heard-of, bottom-of-the-barrel disease and give THOSE people a donation. Maybe $20. maybe $50- just do something for the diseases that don't get any love because no one's ever fucking heard of them.

Then post the name of your new "pet disease" in the comments below... Thereby actually RAISING SOME FUCKING AWARENESS FOR PEOPLE THAT COULD USE SOME!

ummm- as you were,

you have now done your part for follicular-pathicmycosis fungoides awareness

thank you for your time."
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