Go Fund Me sent me an email telling me to write an update, so here is my update.
Michael came home and on Saturday December 28th we said our final goodbyes. The only goodbyes you ever imagine with your child is your goodbye to them when your time comes to leave this earth.
The night he died I was sitting on the couch at my friend’s house and suddenly couldn’t feel my arms, then the same feeling hit my head, like the oxygen was being sucked out of my body. I just froze, I couldn’t move a muscle. I felt if I moved even an inch I would black out or even die. It felt literally like my soul was pulled out of my body and now I know it was. Michael took the part of his soul out of my body, the part that I had possessed since I had carried him inside of me.
It may sound strange to say but his service couldn’t have gone better. The room was filled with sadness but the sadness came from the love that we all had for him.
Unfortunately, I’m still in need of funds. My original goal was $15,000 and between me, his Dad, stepdad and a lot of loving, generous, family and friends we got it down to $5000.
I hate to ask all of you to share this post again and I promise it will be the last time.
What can you say when you brought the perfect son into this world and watched him struggle to find his place, only to die just when his life was finally on an upswing.
Michael was an extraordinary soul, never wanted for material things, would put his own life on hold to care for others. In his early twenties he lived with and cared for his aging grandparents with such love and compassion, something few 20 year olds would do.
When he was 10 months old he lost his hearing for 8 months and it created a permanent delay in his brain, so he struggled in school. He once said “Mom I know I’m not the sharpest crayon in the box” but he was the most colorful.
All he ever wanted was a place of his own and after his grandparents passed, in 2014, after feeling that me, his sister, his nephew and niece were in a good safe place, he purchased land 1200 miles from home and built a one room cabin. One year later he bought a small two bedroom house and after he moved into it, he let a homeless man Doug and his dog Gussie live in the cabin.
He had a unique sense of humor and everyone he met he would attach a nickname or saying to them and brought laughter to those around him. He was a ray of sunshine. He loved the world but as we all know the world doesn’t always love us. In 2018, he lost his job, his girlfriend, his car died and his cabin burned down which was not insured. Thank God Doug and his little dog Gussie were ok and Michael found a place for them again. After losing his job he bounced from job to job and went deep into debt trying to do it alone and what little equity he had will now be absorbed by the credit card companies.
He came back home for Thanksgiving after another company closed down, a friend got him a job and he was so excited for the opportunity for a new start. But the day before he was to leave to come back to us his heart just stopped. That beautiful heart that touched all those he met.
All my daughter’s friends loved him as their little brother and he was “Uncle” to his niece Ashlynn and nephew Weston who adored him and being abandoned by their own biological father could not wait for “Uncle” to come home.
And me? What can I say? I am beyond devasted. I keep reminding myself, how blessed I was to have him for 33 years. It’s so true that no parent should ever bury their child.
I sadly do not have the money to bring him home and have his funeral. I helped him all I could and I have no more to give. I would appreciate any help, if there is any surplus money it will go to into a trust for his 7 year old niece, Ashlynn and 9 year old nephew, Weston.
“Uncle” would have love that.
Bless you all and hug your children.
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