Buy Me A Sword

Please donate a few dollars in order for me to buy a sword. I’ve always wanted one and I think it would be a positive addition to my life for 4 main reasons. 1. Protection A sword would help me protect my roommates and I during the nighttime 2. Sexual attraction I feel that with a sword I will have a better chance to keep my girlfriend as girls are known to like swords 3. Easy bread cutting on the go With a sword on my waist I would easily cleave bread in two anywhere and anytime 4. Honor The possession of a blade would help me accrue honor as I would vanquish way more foes


No donations yet. Be the first to help.


Sam Crockford 
Quaker Hill, CT
  • #1 fundraising platform

    People have raised more money on GoFundMe than anywhere else. Learn more

  • GoFundMe Guarantee

    In the rare case that something isn’t right, we will refund your donation. Learn more

  • Expert advice, 24/7

    Contact us with your questions and we’ll answer, day or night. Learn more