Please donate a few dollars in order for me to buy a sword. I’ve always wanted one and I think it would be a positive addition to my life for 4 main reasons.
A sword would help me protect my roommates and I during the nighttime
2. Sexual attraction
I feel that with a sword I will have a better chance to keep my girlfriend as girls are known to like swords
3. Easy bread cutting on the go
With a sword on my waist I would easily cleave bread in two anywhere and anytime
The possession of a blade would help me accrue honor as I would vanquish way more foes