BeingSexuallyAssultedChangedMyLife

Hello to those who have taken the time to STOP and actully listen to my past. I hope im going to be able to change that by eventully starting my own business? 2007 was the worsed day of my life, at the age fifteen six months I was severely sexually assaulted, The out come of that left me with no chance of getting a job as I was diagnosed as mentally disabled and was put on the disability support pension at the age fifteen nine months. I had to attend mental health appointments weekly and do therapy for one of my Diagnosis Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I'm unable to take medication for this because I was diagnosed with bipolar mania disorder as well. So I was put on several different medications that could potentially help me. I struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder it is continuing to control my life. I have done many unusual things that are due to my illnesses, for example, at 16 years old I started continuously changeing my room around i would change it around 4 times a day then put it back the same way, that stopped and another thing started, for example I was unable to put my hands in dirty water, including the kitchen sink ect, There was a period were I couldn't get my hair wet, at a stage I continually sterlizing my hands, I went through therapy because I went through a period were I was unable to get myself dirty or my cloths dirty, now I'm going through one that is fairly unusual and I don't expect you to understand. For the last 8 years iv only dressed in 5 colours and they all go in a certain way. So I wear all white when I'm feeling fresh and Happy, I wear red and white when I'm really excited, I wear all black when I'm not feeling myself, I also wear black and white when I don't have a mood. With help of my partner I now wear Cammo green with white when I feel like I'm battling with my illness, I'm constantly cleaning and putting Things a certain way to make me feel at ease. There were charges laid at a later time, I went through a 3 hour statement with a lady from child Services by the Name of Jane meguir from Indigo house in Lismore NSW there was a four year investigation, he was later charged. Myself and eight other witnesses went through a Trial that went for a period of four years, That ended up finishing at the end of 2014. Detective Ben Dixon From Ballina had been the Most important part of the whole thing. He put his time into my Case knowing the truth about what happened to me. He continued to have Faith, that's what made me not give up. Every court date Ben would be like come on we got this! all the evidence is there. The DPP, Department of prosecution were all so on the same page as Ben, we all thought the court case would be in my favour. 2014 was a heart breaker of a day? Not only for Myselfand Ben Dixon the DPP, my support worker Jane Meguir, and my amazing Family and Friends, and eight witnesses. That stood up and voiced what they recalled. Thank you toThose who stuck by me for the end result. That was the Jury of twelve found Joshua David Fry not Guilty due to having a Dissabilaty. I was intiltiled to $5000 from victims compensation for the Assault, The trauma left me with a Metal Health Disorder since I was sixteen, at that time was also told by medical doctors that I'm not suitable to work as I'm diagnosed mentally unstable. So I don't really know how to make a start to a future struggling with these disorders. Unless maybe I can relate to those who have been in the same position as me and no how hard it gets. I hope those who have not been in a position where there assault take the time to research the trauma that affects you afterwards and in some cases forever. I have been taking lithium since my diagnosis so since 2007 and over the period of eleven years the dose has increased to 1350mg, even no I'm Medicated I have been Hospitalised 36 times. For reasons that I don't want to say, but can state the obvious answer, Violent Outburst, Self Harm and some times not making the right Discussion and Hurting Myself usually doing things that are not at all the usual things that you do when your Thinking properly. I have a fairly long Criminal History that started after the Assault. I began to go of the rails and made bad choices and decisions that I have to live with And with the right Medication and Mental Health Support I'll be able to stay on a permanent stable path. I live with my choices because without the mistakes I have made? I would not be the strong Survivor I am today and it is the reason I was eventually able to forgive the man that change my life and personality. I live knowing one thing and that's, that you have to live with yourself. That's something I can live with. I might struggle through life needing Support Workers. Yes I do have to take Medication till I'm Completely Stable. I might find it difficult to find Suitable Housing. I may never have the chance to be able to be employed by a employer. Im going to ask ONE THING From the Universe and that is if YOU? YES YOU.... Are someone who can make a Difference and is able to make a Change in my circumstances. Your generosity is Not something that will help for a day. Its something that could Change my Life completely, I'm hoping one day to be able to afford to to open up my own Music studio or a Art studio, That's something that's nearly impossible to do having to be on Disability Support Pension.