Please Help. Please..

So. This is going to be long, and incredibly difficult for me, but please read through and bear with me. Since the end of January, I’ve been dealing with crippling panic attacks. At first, it was just a couple days, and I got past it and was fine for nearly two months. Then, a few weeks ago, they popped up again, and I was in bad shape for a couple days again, but then was fine for two weeks. Then, a week and a half ago, they struck again, and this time, they haven’t let go. I’ve lost over 20 pounds in less than two weeks, because I can’t hold down food most of the time. I often have trouble controlling my breathing and heart rate. I’ve been fighting a migraine now for going on four days and I can’t sleep. I’m in really bad shape. Here’s why:A year and a half ago, I made the decision to leave Amazon. They’re an amazing company that afforded me the opportunity to grow as a person and a leader, and they compensated me incredibly well. I left for two reasons: one, I was frustrated. As much as I loved my job, I was incredibly frustrated at the time with some things that were going on. And two, I believed in myself. I thought I could move on and put myself in position to be successful elsewhere.It took me much longer to find another opportunity than I anticipated, and as a result, we ran through most of what we had saved up. But eventually, I did get another opportunity, and it was a good job. I enjoyed what I was doing, and between my new job and Kristi’s job, we were able to pay the bills, and it seemed like things would be okay. But as we got closer to the end of January, my job let me know that in order to continue with them, I was probably going to need to relocate. Not anyone’s fault. The position I was in just wasn’t being utilized anymore. Kristi and I discussed, and although we didn’t want to leave Texas, we were open to the idea at least. Then came February 9th.....I was laid off on February 9th. The positions that I’d interviewed for or was being considered for either went to people with more experience, or the positions themselves didn’t come through. I have nothing but thanks to Integrity for bringing me aboard and for trying to help me find a new position. I don’t blame them at all. It’s just one of those things. As it turned out though, the loss of income and medical benefits would be a bigger blow once our little girl came early. Kristi has been on maternity leave. I’ve thrown myself into finding a new position and have had some interviews. Have a few more currently scheduled. But unfortunately, we’re out of time...I never thought I would be in this position, but here we are. I should’ve never left Amazon. It was a great job, and I should’ve funneled my frustration into being positive and working on the things that were frustrating me, instead of leaving. But I believed in myself. I was wrong. And because of that, I’ve now put my family in a horrible situation. Which is why I’m begging and pleading for help. You’ll find a link to a gofundme attached to this post. I hate doing this. I feel like an utter failure. But we’re basically in a position where I can’t pay our bills, because of my actions. I know many of you helped us out by purchasing items for our baby girl on our registry, and we’re forever thankful, but if you could find it in your heart to donate to this gofundme, you’d be doing me a huge favor, one I will never forget. Anything you can do will help. We basically have two options: try and get caught up on our bills and hope one of these roles comes through for me sooner rather than later and then we try and bounce back here in Texas, or we move back home, and try and bounce back there. Either way, we’re going to need help. If not for me, please help for Kristi and Carlie. They deserve better than this, and it’s not their fault I’ve let them down.Kristi, I’m so sorry. I’ve failed you and Carlie, and it’s breaking my heart. Just know I love you both more than anything and I will spend the rest of my life trying to get back what we had. You two are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. If you read, thanks, and I apologize for the stream of consciousness. But I’m out of options and time, so my pride will need to be sacrificed. Please help if you can.
  • Younese Mekonnen 
    • $100 
    • 42 mos
  • Anonymous 
    • $1,365 
    • 43 mos
  • Chantelle Higgins 
    • $20 
    • 43 mos
  • Tim Kelley 
    • $250 
    • 43 mos
  • Lydia Obeng 
    • $100 
    • 43 mos
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Organizer and beneficiary

Steve Williams 
New Braunfels, TX
Kristi Williams 
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