My mom has dementia and needs help

Many of you know my mom, Stephanie, from the past you probably know her as a very smart, successful, strong woman. She loved her friends, her family, and animals. She was very generous, and lots of fun. Somewhere along the way, during many family tragedies, things changed. She was depressed and was definitely not the go-getter she once was. She definitely had a change in personality. After our dad died in 2015, things took a bad turn, and she was targeted by an online romance scammer. She gave away everything she had to this crook, even sold her car, to send him the money. Me and my family tried everything we could to stop it, we called police, social services and were never able to stop it. We were told until she wanted help we couldn’t help her. This past year, we were able to definitively prove to her he was fake. But she still didn’t believe it. At one point she was “residing” in a very seedy motel with no funds left and no plans for the future. I was finally able to get an emergency custody order to get her in for a mental health evaluation. The testing and MRI showed she had multiple undetected strokes that had caused vascular dementia. Adult protective services was notified and is following up with the financial exploitation of the scam done to her. It is doubtful they will ever recuperate her lost retirement funds though. She has come to live with me now, I’m trying my best to take care of her and make her feel safe, but it is a struggle for me financially. Until I am able to get things squared away for her with some assistance from social security and social services, I am always feeling 2 steps behind. She is only 59, and can’t even start drawing from spousal social security until she is 60. My siblings are trying to help, but none of us are at a point in our lives where we were prepared to take this on. I guess nobody really is. Sadly, I am at a really slow point at my job, and just lost my store and manager bonus in January, so I was already playing catch up. I definitely underestimated how much time, energy, and money it would take to get her settled, and to get the whole process for help going. My rent is late, my check is not enough to cover it, much less any other bills or living expenses this month. I am not so worried about myself because I can always land on my feet, but she needs a home. I am really struggling trying to keep up with her, the social services system, the doctors, and my job. This last week has been hell, and I just want to give up some days. Any help is appreciated, even if it’s things like extra towels or dishes. She is very unhappy at me for not having enough bowls and spoons for her haha. And if anyone has a working washer and dryer they don’t need, the laundry mat is expensive and time consuming. Thank you so much for listening. For those of you that are friends with her, if you could come visit with her some, she is lonely and bored, I try to spend time with her, there is just so much to do all the time, I’m drowning.

Donations

  • Anonymous 
    • $750 
    • 34 mos
  • Anonymous 
    • $500 
    • 36 mos
  • Anonymous 
    • $750 
    • 37 mos
  • Brianne Campbell  
    • $20 
    • 38 mos
  • Heather Allen 
    • $150 
    • 38 mos
See all

Organizer and beneficiary

Tina Wall 
Organizer
Lynchburg, VA
Chris Layne 
Beneficiary
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