50th birthday, f*** cancer!

Dear Universe, I don't much care to ask for stuff for myself but this feels different. On March 4th I turn 50. Last year all I felt about that was a desire to spend my 50th with friends. We are weeks away and I feel tested: We were gentro'd out of our East SF Bay business and home. We are couch surfing with family in Seattle until I'm done with massage school. We are living on loans and the generosity of my family. We found breast cancer. I had a partial mastectomy and my last radiation is just days before my birthday. My 4yo has been to emergency 2 times, my husband once. There are things I'm really grateful for - the help we've received, Central Branch Preschool, West Seattle kids Aikido class, Northeast Academy for the Healing Arts, and dear friends. But, universe, I'm weary. I've been holding it together and holding it together for a year and a half now. I will continue to do so until my family has a home in the PNW, and for however long I need to. I now long for a 50th birthday celebrated somewhere relaxing. I'd really like to be at some rental place on some coast with a hot tub. I'd like to relax and tune out and heal from the radiation, maybe just with my little family, maybe with some friends. I can't ask my family for more than they are already giving, so, I ask you. (And if there is any extra, I will use it to pay for a tattoo that will cover my radiation tattoos.) Thank you for listening. Sincerely, Kendal Au