Everything seemed to be going well: morning sickness galore, cravings, aversions, many body changes, you name it, I probably experienced it. It wasn't until March 30th that our world turned upside down. On a routine visit, our 24 week appointment to be specific, we found out our precious baby girl no longer was moving and her heart was no longer beating. We couldn't breathe, we couldn't speak. It took everything in us to even begin to drive home and face this new reality. This new reality told us that we would no longer get to experience sleepless nights for our sweet baby girl, we wouldn't experience her firsts: first smile, first laugh, first time rolling over, first crawl, first steps, first words, and so on and so forth. All of these things really left a huge hole in our hearts and in our lives. We were expectant to have a healthy baby girl and with a healthy baby girl came a lot of hopes on what we wanted to teach her to develop great character and a love for Jesus and for people.
One day after the heart wrenching appointment, we were asked to deliver our baby girl in the hospital. I hadn't even had a chance to visit the hospital, visit the labor and delivery unit at the hospital or take any classes on delivering a baby, so it was a frightened experience. We felt so unsure of what the next few days would look like, not to mention the sadness that was overwhelming us.
The first thing we saw when walking into the building was a huge mural of a beautiful baby. To many it was a beautiful little miracle, but to Joe and I, it was the hardest thing we could see in the moment. It was so hard to look at and then was even harder to acknowledge and admit that others would be welcoming life when we were having to say goodbye to ours.
We were able to deliver after 12 hours and we got to see our baby girl and hold her. We were so scared with the decision to see our baby or not see our baby for fear of her looking unhealthy or imperfect to us. The Lord made it clear to us that we should see our sweet baby girl and love of her as best as we knew how. We loved on her, prayed over her, cuddled her, and caressed her and knew she was safe in Jesus' arms. She was small and fragile, but she was ours! She was so perfect. She had a tiny little button nose, and we could tell she was going to have big cheeks like my husband and long fingers for playing the guitar or piano.
The nurse and doctor agreed that the reason for her death was a hypercoiled umbilical cord. In our sadness, but wanting to understand, we figured she was probably wanting to be an Olympic gymnast with all her twisting in the same direction.
Shortly after and honestly too quickly after everything, I started getting tested for so many things to determine the reason for Ava's death. From multiple ultrasounds, an MRI, to numerous blood tests, the doctors were on a mission to help understand the reasonings. After the MRI, the doctors concluded that a surgery would be necessary before trying to conceive again. The MRI showed that I have a septum (wall) in my uterus that extends halfway down the length of my uterus. My OBGYN thought that Ava's placenta may have been attached to this septum wall instead of my uterine wall; moreover, not allowing enough blood flow and proper nutrients to her.
After visiting with a Fertility doctor, they concluded the same thing. A surgery would need to be done along with another round of more thorough and specific tests. This amounts totals nearly 7,500. We have so generously been given $1000 by a friend from church and $300 from a family member as well as some we've been saving after paying off the medical bills from her delivery and testings.
We are down to just needing 4,500 for the surgery and all of the necessary tests associated with it.
We are looking for people to come alongside us in not only monetary donations, but also in prayer. We have a God who is faithful and trustworthy and we would love it if nothing else if you could please pray for us during this journey. We would love to begin the process of trying to have a child again.
Please help by sharing our story, committing to pray for us or by giving for the surgery or giving to the non-profit, Walk With Me, as they provided so
much love, support and understanding in our heartache.
Also, if you know of anyone dealing with the heart wrenching task of dealing with the death of an unborn or born child, please reach out to me as I would love to be praying for them.
- Jen&Steph McCurley
- Brad and Alicia Shimmens
- Nick and Catherine King
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