Life becomes REAL when life altering circumstances are placed before you. These kinds of situations can break a person down physically, mentally and spirtually. They can take you to a place where you are either questioning God, or looking to Him for strength and peace, or as in my case, both.
My husband and I have found ourselves in a situation that can only be summed up as a "test of faith." After having a miscarriage at the end of 2016, my husband and I moved on and began to rebuild. Exactly 1 year to the date we found out I was pregnant again! Knowing what we had recently experienced, I saw a doctor immediately and took all the nesecessary precautions and was told that everything at that point looked great!
At 5 months, I decided to go have an elective ultrasound done, and to my surprise learned that we were having twin girls!!
which we named Aquilla and Priscilla(Acts 18). I could barely get over the shock/excitement of carrying twins before I was informed that there were some concerns and that I needed to see my doctor. Moving forward, I immediately scheduled an appointment and began this rollercoaster ride of a process. While at my doctors appointment I was told that they were only seeing one baby, and hearing one heartbeat. So my doctor recommended that I go to the High Risk Pregnancy Center. Upon seeing the highrisk doctor it was in fact confirmed that we were having twin girls , however they were conjoined.
I don't think any mother or father can process being told that their child or children will be born with any type of birth abnormality or physical ailments. At that moment Immediately my mind went to what type of pain they may experience both now and in the future. I thoughtr about the pain my husband and i would feel, and wondered what effects this would have on our family as a whole , and on our life at this point. Every thought imaginable surfaced to the forefront of my heart.
After my husband and I prayed and talked and prayed and talked and cried, we came to grips with the idea that we were having conjoined twins and thanking God for blessing us with our two blessings. Regardless of their condition and our uncertatinties we were thankful. Before we could really wrap our minds around these many thoughts we were hit with yet another bomb.
The doctor informed us Aquilla and Priscilla share a heart and liver. Also, Priscilla, who they call Baby B (in which we named by this point), doesn't have a skull, leaving her brain completely exposed. This has caused the doctors to redirect there attention all together from catering to both babies, and only focusing they're complete attention on saving or prolonging the life of Aquilla (Baby A ). Even though they haven't given her much of a chance of living beyond delivery either.
My life these past few weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster to say the least. Trying to live a "normal" life i.e. being (mommy, wife, employee, & faithful servant to Christ) and hold it "all"together when nothing around me makes any sense has been such a task.
How could death be spoken,when I can feel life?
Nothing that my husband and I have been through in our 10 years of marriage have prepared us for this 1 experience. We have both been praying and believing God to work a miracle. Even to the point we didnt share this with anyone, not even family because we were certain God would work this out.
Which brings us to our present state. At my 26 week appointment, my doctor had a heart to heart with my husband and let us know we needed to make a descision. We could set up my c-section and deliver the babies now, which she recommended, or go full term but risk my own health. She let us know I wouldn't be able to have a regular c-section, but one that required a bigger cut vertically and deeper, producing more blood loss. The concern for me becomes greater the further along I continue the pregnancy. She gave us two weeks to decide and let her know. We just hit that 2 week mark, and in that time I have prayed, cryed, and researched my options.
No hospital in Las Vegas has delivered conjoined twins and are not eqiupped to separate them if that were an option. So giving birth here, I would have no way of knowing if separation were an option and life were possible for Aquilla, as I have come to terms, although sorrowfully that God had other plans for Priscilla.
I have been in contact with the Childrens Hospital of Philadelphia and they have agreed to see me and do their own imaging and test. I am scheduled to fly down for my appoimtmemt on the 8th of May for my scheduled appoimtment and set in motion this process. My doctor is on board and supports me seeking out a second opinion.
Even if we find out the the twins can't be separated, I would be more at peace knowing I have tried everything possible.
I know this is going to be an expensive process between traveling back and forth between Vegas and Philly, housing and transportation while in Philly. And although its something I dont want to think about, but forced to face, funeral arrangements.
I know what Im asking for doesn't even seem fathomable and maybe even outlandish. But after researching other cases this amount may not even scratch the surface. Anything you can give would be a blessing even if a dollar amount isnt associated with it, such as a prayer, encouraging word or share.
It hurts to have to share what we are going through and let so many people in to what has been a private matter. But if doing so, can mean life for the life I have inside of me, Im willing!
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