Help Me leave my abusive traditional family

TW: Narcissistic abuse, SA, physical abuse Thank you for reading. I’ve been dealing with physical, mental, sexual and psychological abuse nearly all of my life. My mom is a narcissistic and I’m the oldest of 4. I’m 23 I can’t drive, don’t have a bank account, and have 0 independence. Even though my younger siblings have those privileges, every time i bring it up I’m ungrateful and someone else has it worse. I come from Senegal, West Africa. And I understand how culture plays a part in some of their inexcusable behaviours but that doesn’t make it right especially since I’m targeted every time. My entire family neutral and extended constantly make up lies about me. I’ve never come out to them but since I was a child I was always told I was ‘gay’ because I didn’t dress like a normal girl. I was told I was a prostitute for going out with my friends. Also I was sexually abused throughout my childhood and Had told my mom about it. I recently shared that fact with my dad and the abusers family. My mom denied everything and claimed that I hadn’t specified the abuse and she thought it was another kind (mind you this happened multiple times) Just as a way to absolve herself from accountability. Last week she attacked me. During the attack she somehow ended up on top of me and i couldn’t breathe. It was so triggering cause it took me back to my childhood. Something in me clicked and I pushed her off me and fought back. She won. I tried to record her during but she grabbed my phone and broke the screen. The next day she said it wasn’t her and my screen had always been cracked. I then got a call from my dad saying that she claimed I attacked her and that even if she did attack me I had no right to fight back. He said that the next time this happens he’ll wash his hands completely of me (disown me). Call the POLICE on me and I’ll get deported. I’m the only one in my family without American papers because I was born in the uk. I don’t even have citizenship from their cause I’ve never lived there. I’ve been experiencing narcissistic abuse for 23 years and it’s pushed me to hate myself, multiple suicide attempts and stole my childhood. I know I have to leave but I feel stuck. I wasn’t able to finish university due to rumours my family fed my dad (who used to pay for my schooling) I used to think he was the only good thing in my life, but recently I’ve realized he’s really such and enabler and my standards were on the ground. I can’t just go get a job cause I don’t have a social security . I could go back home SENEGAL west Africa. But living on my own and finding a job without a degree is very slim. . I do know someone here who tells me I can stay with them. But I think that they’re only into me sexually and I do not want to be in another toxic or abusive situation . With this money I would be able to hire and immigration lawyer and discuss the next steps I should take. I want to go to school in The Netherlands so I’d also go back home,Senegal, so I could apply from there. I was nervous making this but I’m doing it I’m taking back control !!!!!! Thank you so much for your donations may God reward you in this lifetime and the next tenfold ❤️

Donations

  • Nicole Cochary 
    • $20 
    • 21 d
  • Anonymous 
    • $15 
    • 21 d
  • Anonymous 
    • $10 
    • 22 d
  • Bryn Brentnall  
    • $10 
    • 23 d
  • Anonymous 
    • $100 
    • 23 d
See all

Organizer

Diakhou Diallo 
Organizer
West Chester, OH
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