Hey Everyone This is really difficult for me to write, and be so vulnerably exposed to many different people in/around my life... so please bare with me the best you can. In 2016, a work injury/failing health issues left me in a really bad spot. To manage pain, I was prescribed Fentanyl, OxyContin, as well as multiple other muscle relaxers, benzodiazepines, and MULTIPLE other pharmaceuticals that completely destroyed my life. Rock bottom allowed me the opportunity to regain control, sought full treatment, and have 4 years clean as of today from any pharmaceuticals that are in scheduled drug classes. I was lucky enough to keep my addiction to what the doctor was giving me, never more never less, and have the strength to indefinitely stick to the planned treatment forever. I decided to get my life back into my hands, and have the gastric sleeve procedure. I have been very successful, and have lost a little over 400 pounds, and still going. My skin removal surgeries, are going to cost $28,000 - but that isn’t even my main focus/priority on what needs to be handled first and foremost. My health has improved tremendously, my chronic pain only has bearable flare ups, and I am finally starting to live a “normal” life. I have no had a seizure in quite some time, and I will be allowed to get back onto the road soon. This means the WORLD to me, being able to drive again. I can work more efficiently, I can see Bella a lot more (distance keeps us apart for weeks at a time sometimes), it will open up more availability for me to take on more appointments, and the most important thing of all... is repairing my relationship with Bella. For a solid two years, I was a “mom-bie.” Like zombie. I was useless unless I had a 100 mcg Fetanyl patch, with an Oxy-80 every four hours. I was also prescribed at the same time.. adderall, vyvanse, Xanax, klonipin, ambien, and multiple muscle relaxers. I was useless, and didn’t want to hear it from anyone because of the justification that I conjured up in my head. I was wrong. I was so wrong. For not listening to family, friends, and loved ones around me telling me that it wasn’t normal to be on the amount of medications that I had been on. I am sorry to anyone that I have hurt in my past addiction. I genuinely mean it, and can confidently say that with four years under my belt of having no desire to ever take anything more than a Tylenol for pain - is how I feel at this point. I am grateful for the realization before it was too late. I started this campaign, in hopes that ANYONE can help me bounce back from this epic mistake I made years ago. This is terribly embarrassing for me to even write, but I don’t know what else to do at this point. I have always worked, and always worked hard. I have been so behind on so many things over the years with all of my trouble then, that it is simply impossible to catch up/maintain a healthy lifestyle for Bella and I. It’s more or less one or the other, and making sure Bella always has everything she wants/needs/is taken care of is the most important to me. I have $7,600 in fines (from both traffic, and medically suspended for seizures) that need to be paid, in order to get me back on the road. This will also play a role in me having residential custody back (we have 50/50 and it was never taken from me) but I signed my residential rights to Bella’s father, so that he would be able to step up/provide in my absence if I never pulled through. I am stuck between a rock, and a hard place, and having Bella with me a majority of the time, is where she needs to be. (Obviously she’s more than welcome to still see/spend/do whatever she wants with her father) but for Bella’s stability, and general well being, she needs to be with me. She’s coming up on the age that she NEEDS her mommy, and not just wants her mommy. I work daily. I go to school daily. (Cosmetology school, Nursing school) I take care/talk to Isabella daily. Please understand that this is more than just me asking for a hand out. That isn’t my intention at all, and hope I did not come off that way. I am hoping to hit my goal, so that I can make Bella and I have easier lives again, and quite frankly have tried very hard to do it myself with no luck. Please don’t feel obligated to help if you’re unable too, but if you could repost it for others to see, would be spectacular. Times need to change. Desperation often fuels the fire. Thank you to anyone that took the time to read this, and I’m sorry to have even had to write this/explain my situation. I’ve pretty much exhausted everything I could do to try and handle things on my own... but this year hasn’t been very kind to anyone.
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