I am so tired of the struggle. Please help me.

Hello, My name is Deja and I am 41 years old single and a recovering addict. I have had a pretty bumpy road these last 41 years and no matter what I do I can't seem to catch a break. I have come so far in this past year and I was defeated once again a week and a half ago. I feel like everything was ripped away from me everything from my self worth, my safety, and any hope that things will change for the better. Let me start with a year ago. I won't go into to much detail but enough for understanding of what I been dealing with. Last year around this time I was homeless. I was staying in a house when I could that was under foreclosure and it had at least 6 others there and no heat, no water, no locks and no comfort what so ever. I have had struggles all these years so far but nothing like what I have gone through these last 2 incidents. I would stay there at the house iat night and during the day I would be sitting at a laundromat just to stay in heat and to be safe. I was eating out of dumpsters and bumming showers from friends when I could. Anyway this lasted the whole winter. This whole time I am fighting my addiction. It was hard but I did it. I ended up relapsing in February and also died those two times I did. The last time I overdosed I woke up and realized that my son deserves better than I have given him and my Mom needs to be able to rest easy at night and not wonder if I'm alive or if I'm dead. I guess being patient and humble for the little I had but knowing I'm blessed to even be alive, God blessed me with a home. The person who saved my life introduced me to an angel. My landlord, a 32 yr old man who took the chance on someone like me. He let me move in with no money and took my word on paying rent and our agreement I would do renovations as part of my rent. I don't know anything about remodeling but I'm doing a great job. Ok now fast forward to a week and a half ago. I been doing really good, staying clean , doing good enough to help others. My house is big and I need help around there so I am renting a couple rooms out for a cheep weekly payment as well as working on the house. Well not a soul has paid any rent and I can get work out of them all an average of 3 times. I have been supporting at least 3 or 4 more people. I provide food, toilet paper I mean everything.  And they end up getting hateful and losing friends over me asking where the rent is and making them leave. I live off 80 dollars a week. I am on unemployment. I did get some back pay and I decided to hold on to
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