I know that these have been trying times for everyone and I'm definitely not claiming to be special in any way but please hear me out. I never thought I would meet someone who would change my life and make me realize that I was alive for a reason. For most of my life I've suffered from depression and in my early 20's it progressively got worse and worse. I've never really had family around to support me or try to understand my situation. I left my family home soon after I turned 18, due to the mental abuse that was happening because of my decision to come out as queer. My family stopped talking to me. I was lost in a very unkind and unbending world. I suffered through awful relationships that broke me as a person; all the while my depression went untreated, worsening with every heartbreak. I moved to a new city in early 2019 after a sexual assault. I didn't realize it at the time but I was trying to run away from the truth of what had happened to me.. I didn't know how to deal with something so big and painful, it was too much to process. I didn't want anyone in the place where I grew up to judge me or look at me like a victim for the rest of my life so I left, to deal with it on my own. That ended up turning out very bad. I had no money. The relationship I was in fell apart soon after my move and I was stuck living with people who didn't have my best interest in mind. I was physically assaulted and pepper sprayed by my ex for trying to leave. My car ended up being towed by the police department and I was never able to find it, before having to move back home. It was terrifying for me to have to find a way to navigate a place that I wasn't from without my car and it put me in a lot of very bad and uncomfortable situations.The only good thing that came out of 2019 was me finding the me man I will soon be calling my husband. After many years of being disappointed and hurt, I finally met someone who has opened my heart up in a way that I think few ever get to truly experience. He's an amazing person, who since day one has made me feel safe and loved. The connection that I have with him is absolutely incredible and electrifying. He makes me feel alive and free and beautiful and overall safe.. I don't feel safe anywhere except when I'm with him. So it only felt right that I propose! We are currently engaged but still living apart; him in his city and me in the small town that I grew up in. We're about 3 hours apart with no transportation to see each other and the stress and pain of being away from each other is affecting us very poorly. I currently borrow my father's truck to work delivering food and due to my disability worsening recently, this is the job that best fits my condition. I haven't been able to see a doctor, despite finally having health insurance, for the first time in my adult life, due to Covid-19. I've had to endure unnecessary amounts of pain because doctors' offices are not allowing new patients. After 8 years of surviving on my own I've been forced to return to a place where I don't feel safe, included, wanted or even loved. Please, if there is any way that anyone would be able to donate anything at all it would be very much appreciated. All I want is to be able to return to my true love and feel safe again! Thank you for your time.
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