Rebuilding life after life-saving brain surgery

This is my story about my husband Ben and our beautiful daughter Taylor.

Im trying this website out to help get our little families life back on track and to give our daughter some normality that most take for granted.

Back in 2010 my Husband Ben had a brain haemorrhage. He was admitted to hospital vomiting every 20-30 minutes for around 2 weeks before it slowly petered off. He was diagnosed with a Cavernoma. A 
collection of abnormal blood vessels that look like a raspberry and can bleed intermittently whenever they like.
After 3 months Ben recovered and returned to work. We were both self employed.

Then in 2011 almost exactly a year later, Ben suffered another brain haemorrhage! The same outcome of severe vomiting and after a few weeks in hospital got back to work three-four months later.

2012 just over a year after the second brain bleed Ben had his third and fourth bleed which was a bit worse than the last and the vomiting was out of control again! Yet again Ben got better, built himself up and got back to work plastering in London. His consultant was pushing for Surgery, but the odds and percentages of a successful surgery were not very good because of the location of the Cavernoma.

2013 went by without a bleed!!! Yay we thought, lots of positivity ensued.

Spring 2014 a year and a half after the last bleed Ben woke up in the night vomiting uncontrollably and in agony again with his head. This time was different! The bleed Ben was having in his brain was a heavy one...it resulted in Ben having seizures and his eyes going cross eyed and talking nonsense. The consultant at the National Neurological Hospital in Londonwas concerned and yet again pushed for consent for surgery. This time Ben signed the consent form because now we had another thing to worry about, a daughter, Taylor who was 2 1/2 months old. 20 minutes later Ben was rushed in to surgery as his life was on the line.
6 1/2 hours later he was in Intensive care.

The next few days were an absolute blur, I can’t really recall what happened with so many tears so much worry and being a new mum too boot. 7 days after surgery, Ben was vomiting repeatedly again just like he had done during the last Haemorrhages. He had scan....number 100 and something ! And the doctor and surgeon believed there was some Cavernoma left behind and they wanted to operate again! I couldn’t believe it. Ben endured another brain surgery 7 days after the first, this one was over in three hours fortunately. Ben continued vomiting and was in hospital for the next 11 weeks.He lost 4 and a half stone before his vomiting was under control and he could be discharged.
9-10 months in bed at home rattling with so much medication he began to slowly move around. Just over a year after surgery Ben had physiotherapy to help his balance and coordination issues. ( he had been given a 20% chance of being in a wheelchair for the rest of his life before surgery) 

Ben slowly began to recover, by this point all our savings had gone and the bills and debts were adding up. The inevitable happened and we lost our house. We were fortunate to be able to move into the spare room at my parents house where we lived for the next 2 and a half years. My mother is disabled and with us and our daughter it started to affect her health. We then moved to my mother in laws flat, where we are now. We have taken over her lounge and we sleep on duvets on the floor. (All three of us) our daughter Taylor is 6 now and the moving and situation has started to affect her. She wonders why she can’t have a life like her friends. (Bless her, I always cry when she says that) 

That’s our little families back story and our timeline for the last 10 years till today. We are in tens of thousands of debt, my husbands teeth were destroyed from all the vomiting he has suffered from the last ten years and his confidence is at zero. He struggles to go out anywhere (self conscious) because of his teeth and his mental health is suffering badly. He is on medication for it (40mg Citolopram) but it doesn’t really help. I’m on the same medication but a much smaller dose as my mental health has suffered. Now I am also worried ourdaughter has started suffering mentally.

we have very little to our name, an unknown future for us and our daughter and I have lost the man I married, my best friend and the man I love from this devastating episode in our life. 
Ben is a proud man and has always provided for everyone in his family, he has tried multiple time’s to return to work, trying tens of different roles and jobs but can not manage to keep any of them going. His fatigue and balance and coordination prevent him. A friend of mine suggested trying a fundraising page? I was initially dismissive of it because we are not the type of people to take handouts. I feel like it’s begging for help! I’m afraid for our future though so I thought I can put my pride aside and try.

Thank you for reading my post and page, sorry it’s a bit long winded, I’ve never done anything like this before. If you think you may have some spare change or a couple of pounds you could donate to our family, we would be so grateful. 
You will be helping a young, loving, honest and hardworking family that really needs a helping hand, please help us achieve a little bit of hope to change our circumstances and provide some normality to our little girls life. Thank you 

Melissa x