18 screws in my neck denied disability Fed appeal

I have been a auto tech for 20 plus years. The last 5 years of my career I was a small business owner as auto repair and towing shop. I was working 7 days a week 14-20 hours a day. I started having severe pain in my arms neck and shoulders. Had to close my business,sell tow truck and tools. I had started this business from just the few dollars I had and was really starting to do well. Small town of only 500. Only shop there and the people there were very happy I was there.but that changed fast after I went to Dr.   Mri showed degenerative disks in my neck c3-c7 needed surgery. I tried just taking it easy for next year debating such a surgery but didn't get better,I was stuck in a recliner with a 4 year old autistic son that I couldn't help. I decided to go back to Dr. Had another mri on Friday surgeons scheduled procedure Monday it had got worse told me I didn't have much time left. Healing from major spinal fusion was no fun and I still have severe pain nearly 6 years after. I had worked since I was 14 years old now I'm 42 and can no longer do any of the work I was able to do. My son is 10 non verbal autism will need help his whole life. I applied for disability and was denied because I am able to take care of my autistic son they say that proves I am able to work. It's just ridiculous. I got lawyer and was denied again at hearing. Got another lawyer denied at federal appeal. So no I just don't know what to do, try getting hired at a job and be able to do a job like this, nobody will hire someone with 18 screws in their neck. My wife works as a cna and pays the rent and everything else, I feel terrible all the time.