Jack's Top Surgery
Donation protected
Hello! Would you like to help me get something off my chest?
My name is Jack Pennell and I am FTM (female-to-male) transgender. This means that I was assigned female at birth, when in reality I identify as a boy. Unfortunately, I was burdoned with huge, size FF boobs.
Growing up, I'd always find myself on the outskirts of all my friends. I had mostly female friends and always felt that I differed from them in some way. When it was time to play dress-up, instead of being a princess or a fairy, I'd swing towards being a lion. (my favourite animal, naturally). I'd never felt comfortable in those big poofy dresses or the clumsy plastic high heels.
There were times when I'd attempt to fit in with the other girls - but most of them ended in tears. An example that always springs to mind is a summer show of Peter Pan I entered at the age of six. All the girls were given the parts of faeries, to which I strongly objected. I must have spent a good hour sobbing over the fact I wanted to be a lost boy. In the end - to shut me up - they eventually compromised in giving me the part of a 'fairy-lion'. I still had to wear a dress and those god awful itchy wings, but I was given the comfort of a lion mask which seemed to save the day.
The issues surrounding my gender seemed to lay dorment for a while due to the influence of some people in my primary school, however I made the decision to get away from them and start anew come my first year of high school. Within a month, I'd had my hair cut into a short Justin-Beiber-style pixie cut. An instant mistake.
I was bullied horrendously due to this style change - no one in my high school had braved it before. I had no friends and, at the age of eleven, felt completely alone.
My hair couldnt grow back fast enough.
It took a good year to get it back down to my shoulders. To me, this year revolved solely on looking, acting, and feeling like a girl. I wore make up, dresses, big boots, jewlery and anything possible that would make me look feminine. I was so, so afraid of experiencing the hatred I'd felt just because of a hair cut again. I pushed all masculinity deep, deep down inside me where I intended to let it stay.
It was early 2013 that I discovered the band 'Steam Powered Giraffe'. The lead singer presented as a woman in some videos, but a man in others? I was deeply, deeply confused. Not long after, I found the artist's blog, where she would often post updates on her 'transition'. "What's this?" I thought. "How strange."
It was then I met with the term 'transgender'.
I was overcome with emotion as I read through the countless accounts of transgender people across the globe. This was normal and - this was me. For the first time in my life, I wasn't alone.
I rushed to tell my mother, but as we were sat down, about to discuss the important things happening in our lives, we were all hit with shocking news.
My stepdad, Chris, had terminal cancer.
Chris had always pushed me to aim for the moon but this harsh slap of reality sent me plummeting back down to Earth. I was heartbroken after his death. I grieved for months until I finally looked up to the stars and told him my secret. That I was a boy. I asked him for the strength to be confident in myself again, and he gave it me. I decided to reach back up, beyond the moon, beyond the solar system.
The next day, I cut my hair short.
I cried and I cried that night, terrified of what my classmates would think of me. Would I be bullied again? Would the friends I'd finally gotten close to abandon me?
No.
The next day in school, I was okay. Nobody batted an eye. My friends complimented me. I was okay and it felt amazing.
I came out to my friends in 2014, and to my family and the rest of the world in 2015. Everyone has accepted me and I am loved. The only person who doesn't seem to love me, is me.
If I want to come across to others as male, I have to wear a binder. A binder is a compression device made to flatten the chest of a person to make breasts look more like pectorals. As I have FF cups, it is impossible for me to go a day without it if I want to go outside. I am usually trapped in my binder for up to ten hours a day, every day. This makes it painful to move and, some days, breathe.
I am asking you to relieve me of this burdon. The surgery I so desperately need is a double incision breast removal and will cost me a total of £7000. This surgery, performed by Doctor Yelland, will remove both of my breasts, giving me a more masculine appearence. This will not only help my bodily pain, but also my mental health.
As well as a gofundme, I have also opened comissions of my art and will be selling a lot of my possessions. Of course, I'll also be working my ass off!
I am only 17, and can't go on enduring this for much longer. I have a choice - either live my life in pain, or as a lie. Please help me.
Thank you,
Jack.
My name is Jack Pennell and I am FTM (female-to-male) transgender. This means that I was assigned female at birth, when in reality I identify as a boy. Unfortunately, I was burdoned with huge, size FF boobs.
Growing up, I'd always find myself on the outskirts of all my friends. I had mostly female friends and always felt that I differed from them in some way. When it was time to play dress-up, instead of being a princess or a fairy, I'd swing towards being a lion. (my favourite animal, naturally). I'd never felt comfortable in those big poofy dresses or the clumsy plastic high heels.
There were times when I'd attempt to fit in with the other girls - but most of them ended in tears. An example that always springs to mind is a summer show of Peter Pan I entered at the age of six. All the girls were given the parts of faeries, to which I strongly objected. I must have spent a good hour sobbing over the fact I wanted to be a lost boy. In the end - to shut me up - they eventually compromised in giving me the part of a 'fairy-lion'. I still had to wear a dress and those god awful itchy wings, but I was given the comfort of a lion mask which seemed to save the day.
The issues surrounding my gender seemed to lay dorment for a while due to the influence of some people in my primary school, however I made the decision to get away from them and start anew come my first year of high school. Within a month, I'd had my hair cut into a short Justin-Beiber-style pixie cut. An instant mistake.
I was bullied horrendously due to this style change - no one in my high school had braved it before. I had no friends and, at the age of eleven, felt completely alone.
My hair couldnt grow back fast enough.
It took a good year to get it back down to my shoulders. To me, this year revolved solely on looking, acting, and feeling like a girl. I wore make up, dresses, big boots, jewlery and anything possible that would make me look feminine. I was so, so afraid of experiencing the hatred I'd felt just because of a hair cut again. I pushed all masculinity deep, deep down inside me where I intended to let it stay.
It was early 2013 that I discovered the band 'Steam Powered Giraffe'. The lead singer presented as a woman in some videos, but a man in others? I was deeply, deeply confused. Not long after, I found the artist's blog, where she would often post updates on her 'transition'. "What's this?" I thought. "How strange."
It was then I met with the term 'transgender'.
I was overcome with emotion as I read through the countless accounts of transgender people across the globe. This was normal and - this was me. For the first time in my life, I wasn't alone.
I rushed to tell my mother, but as we were sat down, about to discuss the important things happening in our lives, we were all hit with shocking news.
My stepdad, Chris, had terminal cancer.
Chris had always pushed me to aim for the moon but this harsh slap of reality sent me plummeting back down to Earth. I was heartbroken after his death. I grieved for months until I finally looked up to the stars and told him my secret. That I was a boy. I asked him for the strength to be confident in myself again, and he gave it me. I decided to reach back up, beyond the moon, beyond the solar system.
The next day, I cut my hair short.
I cried and I cried that night, terrified of what my classmates would think of me. Would I be bullied again? Would the friends I'd finally gotten close to abandon me?
No.
The next day in school, I was okay. Nobody batted an eye. My friends complimented me. I was okay and it felt amazing.
I came out to my friends in 2014, and to my family and the rest of the world in 2015. Everyone has accepted me and I am loved. The only person who doesn't seem to love me, is me.
If I want to come across to others as male, I have to wear a binder. A binder is a compression device made to flatten the chest of a person to make breasts look more like pectorals. As I have FF cups, it is impossible for me to go a day without it if I want to go outside. I am usually trapped in my binder for up to ten hours a day, every day. This makes it painful to move and, some days, breathe.
I am asking you to relieve me of this burdon. The surgery I so desperately need is a double incision breast removal and will cost me a total of £7000. This surgery, performed by Doctor Yelland, will remove both of my breasts, giving me a more masculine appearence. This will not only help my bodily pain, but also my mental health.
As well as a gofundme, I have also opened comissions of my art and will be selling a lot of my possessions. Of course, I'll also be working my ass off!
I am only 17, and can't go on enduring this for much longer. I have a choice - either live my life in pain, or as a lie. Please help me.
Thank you,
Jack.
Organizer and beneficiary
Jack Pennell
Organizer
Richard Pennell
Beneficiary