Don Parker vs Brain Cancer

$95,457 of $100,000 goal

Raised by 646 people in 21 months
http://www.abta.org/brain-tumor-information/types-of-tumors/glioblastoma.html

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One week ago Don was diagnosed with a glioblastoma- a life threatening cancerous brain tumor. Within days surgery was performed but due to the severity of the tumor, between 10-30% of is still located on his brain, and unable to be removed (it's 2cm deep and pushing against the hypothalamus). A node was also located on one of his lungs, so it's possible that the upcoming chemo therapy and radiation treatments may help with that as well. Don has been an incredible asset to the SD Sheriffs Dept, Sycuan PD, and has unselfishly given up much of his time to help others- including his wife Missy, whose son has been missing for over 7 years.
Missy will be taking care of Don full time and likely unable to work so they are facing a serious financial hardship. The type of brain tumor that Don has will require an incredible amount of care, time, patience, and unfortunately a lot of money. If we as a community can pull together to help Don and Missy with the financial burden due to the surgery (and possible upcoming surgeries), extensive treatments of chemo/radiation, transportation costs, and any therapy associated with the rehabilitation it would help them out immensely.
Any donation, large or small, will be appreciated greatly ❤️
Please please share this page as much as possible ! Thank you all so very much !!!!
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Don’s memorial service will be Friday 3/2 at 2pm, Shadow Mountain Church in El Cajon, Ca.
There will be a short reception afterwards.. For those unable to attend, I understand that the church records the service and will provide a link for viewing.
Thank you to all who have shared this “journey” with Don and me... unfortunately it ended a lot quicker than we expected. Grief is a strange feeling.. I feel guilty when something makes me laugh.. I feel like I’m betraying grief for making plans for Jeep or pet events.. I laugh over our funny pictures and videos, but then cry over the memories, knowing there will be no more memories to make.
I’m running out of words...
life goes on, tomorrow will come whether I’m ready or not.. but I’m not ready to pick up the pieces. I think I’ve managed to trick my mind into thinking that he’s just at work or out of town ..
but tomorrow will still come, and he won’t be there.
Thank you to the recent donations- unfortunately the bills are still coming in (including a $1300 co-pay. Ouch) so I really appreciate it ❤️
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Three nights ago I was watching my husband struggling with his last breaths.. the days since then have been a blur. All of the texts and calls have a little too much... apologies to those I haven’t responded to. I’m tired.. just emotionally exhausted.. but can’t sleep. My rib cage feels bruised from sobbing.. I didn’t even know that was possible. Trying to drive to and from the mortuary today with tears rolling out of my eyes was an experience (sorry to the man in the red Jeep, I didn’t do the “Jeep wave” back, I’m sure you thought I was an ass for violating the Jeep wave rule).. Picked out an urn and matching heart keepsake, both will hold the ashes.. and some will be scattered. Huge mega thank you to Tim Riley, a friend of Don’s- a man that I hardly know, for being there today (and through these last few months) and taking care of the arrangements.. you have been a Godsend!!
At this point I’m using this page as part of forcing myself to accept Dons death.. I think I’m still kind of in denial. Sometimes I imagine that I hear him cough, but then the silence that follows becomes deafening ... I find myself angry for no reason.. my poor dogs have been getting yelled at, things get thrown across the room (not at the dogs!), doors get slammed... I don’t know where the anger comes from or who or what it’s directed to. I talk to an empty room, and I cry. I cry almost nonstop, and I just want the world to go away and leave me alone. Yes I am isolating myself. Yes I know it’s unhealthy. But it’s the only way I can cope right now. I don’t want to be around people. I just want to live in this little bubble with our memories. When the time is right, I’ll be ok.
It’s been 8 long years since I lost my son. My best friend of 22 years died of cancer 11 months ago. And now my husband is gone.
There’s a song that Don really liked.. people say he will “send me signs...”.. when I started my Jeep to leave the mortuary, the song (Silent Lucidity) came on.

“Hush now don't cry
Wipe away the teardrop from your eye
You're lying safe in bed
It was all a bad dream
Spinning in your head
Your mind tricked you to feel the pain
Of someone close to you leaving the game of life
So here it is, another chance
Wide awake you face the day
Your dream is over
Or has it just begun?
There's a place I like to hide
A doorway that I run to in the night
Relax child, you were there
But only didn't realize it and you were scared
It's a place where you will learn
To face your fears, retrace the years
And ride the whims of your mind
Commanding in another world
Suddenly, you hear and see
This magic new dimension
I will be watching over you
I am gonna help you see it through
I will protect you in the night
I am smiling next to you, in silent lucidity”

I smiled a sad smile and said “thanks baby...”.
People keep asking about a memorial service.. it’s in the works. Please be patient.
The picture I’m adding this time is from January 23- just barely 3 weeks ago .. This was Dons last time seeing the ocean that he loved so much.. it was also the spot that we got married at.. Thanks for putting up with my babbling ...
3 weeks ... only 3 weeks. Unreal.
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For those without social media, Don lost his battle this morning around 2am. He took his last breaths while holding my hand, and I did not let go of his hand until they picked him up at 6. I know a lot of you don’t want to see the photo I’m adding but this is what LOVE looks like- and the reality of what Cancer looks like so I will not apologize for posting it. It was taken around 4am.
I will never understand why he was taken away from me- he was young, healthy, loved by all, and full of life. It’s difficult not to be angry... because he did not deserve this.. he was a gentleman, a musician, a friend to all, a hero, a proud servant in the LE community, a man who gave his all... he was a perfect husband, a best friend, a father.. he treated everyone with respect and with humor. He always had a smile or a joke, even during his last few weeks of life -he never lost his sense of humor.. He was compassionate to all, even to those who didn’t deserve it.. He never gave up looking for my son Mickey.. He loved the rain.. cycling.. skiing... mountains... deserts... oceans.. He was always proud of me, even when I put my air filter in wrong .. he believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself and he always pushed me to be brave when I wasn’t. He was my rock.. my friend.. my heart .. my love.. my biggest fan... he was my Valentine every day of the year... and now he’s gone... and I am broken into a thousand pieces. Yes we have memories... but I’d trade them all just to have him back with me.
These last few days have been awful.. how do you watch someone who was so full of life and love fall into a comatose state and watch his breathing get slower and slower , until there’s no more breath?
I was with him the entire time .. I talked to him.. we listened to music.. I told him some lame jokes (his favorite kind of course).. I asked him to tell my family in heaven hi from me.. I asked him to let me know from time to time that he was still with me.. and I told him over and over how much I love him and that he was the best husband in the world. I apologized for the times I was grouchy .. or impatient.. and thanked him for everything that he’s brought into my life, and for always being there ..
Chris VanGorder sent out a SAR email today- this piece just broke my heart even more :
“10ES5, 10ES5, 10ES5. This is a final call for Sgt. Don Parker. May you rest in peace knowing your strength lives in your wife, your legacy carried on through your children and that your honor will continue with all of us. 10ES5, you are clear for end of watch.”

Thank you all for the kind messages... the prayers ... the support through these 9 months ...
10ES5w (w was for wife)
Missy

I will never let go
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Not an update that I want to share but Hospice has given us an estimate of 24-48 hours. First it was weeks... now hours. How can I even begin to describe how we are feeling here... besides devastated.. broken hearted... empty .... Don is not going easily.. he has put up a fight, typical because he’s a stubborn man ... (said with a smile because if you know Don, you understand)... but because he’s fighting, he is also in severe pain. He is on high doses of morphine to control pain, but for those who pray- please ask God to let Don be free.. I don’t know how much longer I can watch his suffering... and I can’t do anything to help him- and that is the worst feeling imaginable .
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Read a Previous Update
Don Beary
21 months ago
3
3

Good thoughts for you, keep healing , and full recovery ... Scripps Rehab .. be absolutely assured you are in good hands with them ♥

+ Read More
Aprilfawn White
21 months ago
2
2

Our hearts & prayers are with you and your family Don. Stay strong, and know that all of our hearts are with you!

+ Read More
Kenny Mac
12 months ago
1
1

Missy, It is perfectly fine to be feeling all that you are feeling at this point. You're entitled to all the time you need and remember that we will all be here for you ANYTIME you need anything. I too keep looking back at pictures and remembering all the fun we had working together in Alpine. Don was my cover unit the day I suffered my line of duty injury that ultimately ended my career several years and surgeries later. I know without Don that day, things could have been a lot worse for me. I will do everything possible to fly in and honor Don. Sending our Prayers and support to you and the family from the Front Range of the Beautiful Rocky Mountains.

+ Read More
Wade Gregg
12 months ago
1
1

A great mentor and friend. Always helpful to teach me emergency management. Rip friend

+ Read More
Dee Cirino Massey
12 months ago
1
1

I'm so sorry Don is no longer with us. May God grant him eternal rest. May God bless you and keep you. May He give you strength and comfort during this difficult time!

+ Read More
Steve Tahmahkera
12 months ago
1
1

Missy, Anita and I wish to send a message of prayer and peace. If not for you, Joe Jack and I would not of had the good fortune to get to see and visit with Don as often if not for his enjoying coming to see you at EMDF. He was always full of wit, great energy and we were the lucky recipients from his visits. We share your pain of not understanding why someone like Don would have to leave us way too soon. You speak the truth Missy. Don was the best of humanity. And to see his good spirit in action is something we will carry with us always. We stand with you Missy in missing him as well. Peace.

+ Read More
Randy Marshall-Kesling
12 months ago
1
1

Missy, Thank you for letting all of us in your and Don's lives. It was a brave and generous act. Your thoughts conveyed throughout this fight were so loving, and I felt like I was with you two. You are who you are because of your wonderful husband, and he will be living on with you. God bless.

+ Read More
Mandy Schexnailder
12 months ago
1
1

Sending up prayers to Jesus for Don to take his hand and feel the love surround him. God bless your family and will continue to pray for you! I'm sorry for your heartache!

+ Read More
Kenny Mac
18 months ago
1
1

Don, Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way from the Front Range of the Beautiful Rocky Mountains. All our Love, Ken, Lisa, Kaleigh & Jaymee McCallister Littleton Colorado

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Mo Parga
20 months ago
1
1

June 2 del Mar fair horse arena come donate for Don 4pm main arena mounted police demo

+ Read More
Debby Lee Gaarde
21 months ago
1
1

I have never seen you sleeping before, in fact I have never seen you standing still! You still look cute. Be strong and come back out and play with us soon!

+ Read More
Carrie Miller Brandt
21 months ago
1
1

Praying for a complete and total healing for you Don!!

+ Read More
Teri Cunningham
21 months ago
1
1

God Bless you! Praying for you and Missy as well!

+ Read More
Debby Lee Gaarde
12 months ago

Hi Missy, Grieve however you need to grieve. We will still be here when you are ready to surface!

+ Read More
Krystian
12 months ago

keep on fighting and never give up . I m currently assisting a friend of mine with the same condition

+ Read More
Diane Brown
12 months ago

I did the CAF ride with Don several times. he was a fantastic cyclist and an even better person. I will never forget finishing the Big Sur day singing The Hills Are Alive at the top of my lungs while he filmed me. Rise Well, Don!

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Mike Atkinson
17 months ago

Just prayed. God go before...

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$95,457 of $100,000 goal

Raised by 646 people in 21 months
Created May 13, 2017
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RT
$100
rick turvey
11 months ago

Until we meet again my friend

$120
Anonymous
11 months ago
$100
Anonymous
11 months ago
$20
Anonymous
11 months ago
SH
$50
steve herman
11 months ago

Don had a heart of gold and I will always remember his warm welcome and smile every time I saw him.

$100
Anonymous
11 months ago
Don Beary
21 months ago
3
3

Good thoughts for you, keep healing , and full recovery ... Scripps Rehab .. be absolutely assured you are in good hands with them ♥

+ Read More
Aprilfawn White
21 months ago
2
2

Our hearts & prayers are with you and your family Don. Stay strong, and know that all of our hearts are with you!

+ Read More
Kenny Mac
12 months ago
1
1

Missy, It is perfectly fine to be feeling all that you are feeling at this point. You're entitled to all the time you need and remember that we will all be here for you ANYTIME you need anything. I too keep looking back at pictures and remembering all the fun we had working together in Alpine. Don was my cover unit the day I suffered my line of duty injury that ultimately ended my career several years and surgeries later. I know without Don that day, things could have been a lot worse for me. I will do everything possible to fly in and honor Don. Sending our Prayers and support to you and the family from the Front Range of the Beautiful Rocky Mountains.

+ Read More
Wade Gregg
12 months ago
1
1

A great mentor and friend. Always helpful to teach me emergency management. Rip friend

+ Read More
Dee Cirino Massey
12 months ago
1
1

I'm so sorry Don is no longer with us. May God grant him eternal rest. May God bless you and keep you. May He give you strength and comfort during this difficult time!

+ Read More
Steve Tahmahkera
12 months ago
1
1

Missy, Anita and I wish to send a message of prayer and peace. If not for you, Joe Jack and I would not of had the good fortune to get to see and visit with Don as often if not for his enjoying coming to see you at EMDF. He was always full of wit, great energy and we were the lucky recipients from his visits. We share your pain of not understanding why someone like Don would have to leave us way too soon. You speak the truth Missy. Don was the best of humanity. And to see his good spirit in action is something we will carry with us always. We stand with you Missy in missing him as well. Peace.

+ Read More
Randy Marshall-Kesling
12 months ago
1
1

Missy, Thank you for letting all of us in your and Don's lives. It was a brave and generous act. Your thoughts conveyed throughout this fight were so loving, and I felt like I was with you two. You are who you are because of your wonderful husband, and he will be living on with you. God bless.

+ Read More
Mandy Schexnailder
12 months ago
1
1

Sending up prayers to Jesus for Don to take his hand and feel the love surround him. God bless your family and will continue to pray for you! I'm sorry for your heartache!

+ Read More
Kenny Mac
18 months ago
1
1

Don, Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way from the Front Range of the Beautiful Rocky Mountains. All our Love, Ken, Lisa, Kaleigh & Jaymee McCallister Littleton Colorado

+ Read More
Mo Parga
20 months ago
1
1

June 2 del Mar fair horse arena come donate for Don 4pm main arena mounted police demo

+ Read More
Debby Lee Gaarde
21 months ago
1
1

I have never seen you sleeping before, in fact I have never seen you standing still! You still look cute. Be strong and come back out and play with us soon!

+ Read More
Carrie Miller Brandt
21 months ago
1
1

Praying for a complete and total healing for you Don!!

+ Read More
Teri Cunningham
21 months ago
1
1

God Bless you! Praying for you and Missy as well!

+ Read More
Debby Lee Gaarde
12 months ago

Hi Missy, Grieve however you need to grieve. We will still be here when you are ready to surface!

+ Read More
Krystian
12 months ago

keep on fighting and never give up . I m currently assisting a friend of mine with the same condition

+ Read More
Diane Brown
12 months ago

I did the CAF ride with Don several times. he was a fantastic cyclist and an even better person. I will never forget finishing the Big Sur day singing The Hills Are Alive at the top of my lungs while he filmed me. Rise Well, Don!

+ Read More
Mike Atkinson
17 months ago

Just prayed. God go before...

+ Read More
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