Deb Kelly Medical Support Fund

$24,278 of $35,000 goal

Raised by 245 people in 5 months
Created September 25, 2017
Dear friends,

Try to imagine: You’re 46 years old, two sons (Bryce, 14, and David, 12), a single parent household that requires two jobs to make ends meet, and being diagnosed with cancer twice in 10 months. Stage 4 is a terrifying diagnosis….

The directors of the Marketing and Communications team at Cornell University have created this GoFundMe campaign on behalf of our colleague and friend Deb Stayer Kelly.

Deb has worked with us for four years, originally in the Marketing Department at the Samuel Curtis Johnson Graduate School of Management. Through her various roles, she’s been a critical part of marketing support for all schools within the Cornell SC Johnson College of Business. She’s a high-performer that sees every project through to the best of her ability. She’s a loyal Cornellian graduating from the Employee Degree Program in 2000 and serving the University for a total of 13 years.

She’s also a wonderful, giving mother of two active teenage boys. She’s been struggling to provide for her sons and often works two jobs just to keep the household bills under control.

In December 2016, Deb was diagnosed with Stage 3 colon cancer requiring a colon re-sectioning. She was also diagnosed with Lynch Syndrome, a genetic form of cancer for which there is no cure. There is an 80% chance Deb will develop a secondary cancer.

Pathology revealed that the cancer had spread to a lymph node requiring two forms of aggressive chemo during winter/spring 2017. The treatments created several side effects including severe neuropathy in her hands, feet, and throat. Oncologists made the decision to discontinue chemo after six treatments. Despite the toll these treatments took on Deb’s body, we were happy to see her return to our team as her normal self.

Deb experienced ongoing pain that went undiagnosed by physicians for almost four months. Four days after her September birthday, an MRI revealed that the colon cancer metastasized in a lymph node located in her pelvis resulting in a large mass resting on a bundle of nerves. To complete surgery at this point could possibly result in paralysis. Deb is now Stage 4 and facing another aggressive treatment that includes chemo and radiation five days a week for five weeks with the goal of shrinking the mass to allow for surgery.

When asked what her plan of action was, she responded that she’ll need to drive to the treatment center (approximately an hour and a half each way) daily. We said that was unacceptable, since she’d be too fatigued from treatments to safely drive.

As you can see, Deb’s optimistic, which is great. However, we feel daily travel will be too much for her. For that reason, and many more, we are creating this page, despite her best efforts to keep this information private and manage herself.

We’d like to raise enough money to pay for a modest room near her treatment center where she can rest from Monday to Friday for five weeks. Additional funds raised will be used to manage fuel oil bills, gasoline and vehicle maintenance, furnace repairs, meals for the boys, healthcare deductibles, and everyday expenses.
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February 9, 2018
From Deb:
A heartfelt THANK YOU to everyone that has donated to the GoFundMe campaign. Friends, family, colleagues, former associates, community members, and strangers… my heart overflows with the generosity of those around me. I can never thank each and every one of you the way you deserve to be thanked. Please know how much the boys and I appreciate your act of kindness.
The past few months have been a journey. I completed oral chemo and radiation treatments on November 8, 2017. It seemed like the five days a week for five weeks would never end. I struggle immensely with chemo regardless if it is IV or oral. It absolutely tears my body up. Around the clock anti-nausea cocktails were required but I made it! Then we waited as the radiation continued to work for three months.
I was strongly encouraged to seek a second opinion from Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. I secured an appointment for December 15. My oldest sister, Michelle, made the trek with me after several kind individuals helped to secure seats on the Corning Inc. jet. We arrived the day before the appointment, paid a premium for a hotel (many thanks to the kind couple that covered the cost), and arrived at 8:30 a.m. for the appointment.
Without going into all the details, I can say it was the worst doctor’s visit I’ve ever had. All my hopes for a cure/treatment were placed in their hands and they failed miserably. After waiting hours, the oncologist finally speaks with me and says preferred treatment is: 1) surgery to remove the large mass in my pelvis, 2) Immune Therapy (Keytruda) if surgery isn’t an option, and 3) Clinical Trial for a different form of Immune Therapy if Keytruda doesn’t work. We then waited hours to see a surgeon. After six hours at the clinic, we ran to the shuttle pick-up location and left NYC no better off than when we arrived. I have never been so heartbroken, felt so insignificant. I was failed again by the medical system.
I continued my care at U of R and completed an MRI and PET scan, per the colorectal surgeon. The scans indicated that one small mass was gone, two were smaller, and the large mass shrank but not significantly. Surgery is NOT an option as the malignant lymph node is resting on the sacrum bone and creating an indentation in the bone. If the large mass is removed, they will also have to remove the sacrum. This is critical bone holds the vertebrae, hip bones, and pelvis together. The surgeon described it as a “horrific” surgery, one she refused to perform on me as it would not be a quality life. I would urinate and defecate in a bag and be unable to walk for the rest of my life. That is not an option. I refuse to be a burden on my family…more than I already am.
The decision was made to begin Immune Therapy (Keytruda) immediately as the large mass aggressively grows when not actively undergoing treatment. I’ve since completed two treatments via my medi port. We hit a speed bump last week when my medi port malfunctioned. Luckily, after four hours, the talented nurses at Interlakes Oncology were able to open the port for future use.
Keytruda infusions are every three weeks. After six months we will conduct another round of testing to see if the treatments are successful. If not, the only remaining options are chemo combinations or clinical trials that require me to be in NYC. I’ve expressed my continued refusal to future chemo treatments. I just don’t think I can survive that again.
January was a challenging month financially. County taxes, car repairs, medical expenses, and so much more have taken a significant toll on our finances. I am now on long-term disability. My Cornell colleagues/supervisors have been incredible. I could not ask for a better support group.
I do want to clarify that the boy’s dad, Dave, has been extremely supportive and providing for the boys. He is an outstanding father. However, I am no longer his responsibility and I cannot expect for him to provide for me as well. It’s important that people don’t think Dave is a “Deadbeat Dad.” Nothing could be further from the truth. I know if I lose this battle, my boys will be well cared for by their dad.
I promise to be timelier with my updates, as they become available. Meanwhile, I appreciate your generosity, prayers, and motivational words. This is a something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy and never thought would happen to me. I was wrong.
If you can find it in your hearts to share our GoFundMe campaign on your social media platforms, please do. Every little bit helps.
All our love,
Deb, Bryce, and David
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Thank you all for your continued support and well wishes. Please consider sharing this post to continue the momentum for Deb!
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Thank you for your generosity thus far. Please keep sharing this page and praying for Deb's recovery. Here's an update from Deb:

Update October 12, 2017 –
Words cannot begin to express my appreciation to everyone contributing to the GoFundMe initiative. The care and compassion shown towards myself, Bryce, and David is incredible. We are loved by many. It has restored my faith in humanity.

I have now completed six chemo and radiation treatments with 19 to go. It was a very rough start. Our lives revolve around doctor’s appointments in Canandaigua, sickening medications, treatments, and countless time on the road daily.

Oncologists met with my parents last Wednesday and it was the first time “borderline incurable” was used. It was a kick to the stomach. If I were an older person they would deem me terminal. Due to my age and two young sons that depend on me, they are going to “give it a try.” We are no longer working from a standardized plan. Instead, doctors are doing whatever they can to stop the accelerated growth of masses in my pelvis with hope of preventing further metastasis to major organs.
It was discussed yesterday that I will likely be referred outside the U of R system for surgery if and when the major mass shrinks. Options include Cleveland Clinic, Boston, or Sloan Kettering. We will also continue to seek a second opinion, per doctor’s encouragement.

Immune therapy was also discussed. If nothing else, it might sustain me until a cure can be found. Keytruda would be administered every three weeks for the rest of my life and is extremely costly (approximately $150,000 annually). Oncologists are hoping to secure coverage via my health insurance company.

Family and friends have gone above and beyond to care for the boys and myself. I am eternally grateful to all of you.

Please pray that a cure is found soon enough to allow me to enjoy a quality life with Bryce and David. I’m just not ready to leave them yet. Next time you see them, hug them a little closer.

If you feel compelled, please continue to share the GoFundMe page knowing the road we are on will not be over anytime soon. As my dad says, “This is a marathon, not a sprint.”

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

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Thank you, thank you! What a tremendous show of support. Deb is currently recovering from her first new round of treatment. But I know she'll be overcome by the response. We appreciate your kindness.
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$24,278 of $35,000 goal

Raised by 245 people in 5 months
Created September 25, 2017
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