Cult Survivor Needs Legal Help
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10 years ago this month I decided to take back my life, my mind, my soul from a cult. Yes, you read that right, a cult. Some may think that to fall into the grasp of a cult you must be weak-minded, you must have a sheep-mentality and be oblivious. Well, I can tell you that I am not weak-minded, I am not a follower and I am not oblivious to what is going on around me, yet I still fell victim to a cult. There are so many stigmas associated with that word, cult, so many misconceptions by people who think they know better, but the truth of the matter is that you don’t know till you’ve lived it. I was simply following my heart, I wanted to be with the man I loved and at first, things really didn’t seem dangerous or even too "out there" so I stayed. I was married this man within the cult, had 3 of my 4 children with him within the cult. But as with all false things the good came to an end pretty quickly - the love bombing ended, the manipulation and shaming began, the twisting of the truth for gain was common practice by the leaders, the constant mind games and eventually mind control was fierce. By the time I started questioning what I had gotten myself into I couldn’t just walk away, I was stuck. I had a family that I knew I would lose by walking away. Things had become emotionally and mentally dangerous for any who questioned leadership and their practices. If you considered leaving that is when the mental torture ramped up. I literally battled with myself over leaving for 3 years before I finally had built up enough strength and courage to get out. I knew it wasn’t just going to be me saying “ok, I think I’m done and I’m not going to be coming back”, keeping my family intact and just moving on. The difference between a church and a cult is what happens when you try to leave. A church would wish you well and pray for you, a cult uses everything within its power to shame and scare you into staying. I had to be very careful that no one knew of my plan - NO ONE! I couldn’t risk being found out and have to endure the “counseling” that would ensue, the increased shaming and inevitable punishment. I had to pay attention to how others had escaped and manipulate my own escape. And I did, on March 9, 2009 I made my escape, but the battle wasn't over. I had to fight for my family, my children. I asked my husband to come with me, I told him that I knew we could have a happy life together if he would just come with me, but he refused, "That's just not an option for me". My heart broke into a million pieces that day, but I had to be strong and hold it together, I couldn't show any weakness. God showed up for me that day, held me together and helped me stand my ground. Eventually he got custody of the kids (cults have big pockets to afford endless litigation - they protect the flock out of self-preservation). I fight everyday for my kids, I pray everyday for my kids. Life has not been easy since I left, but I have been free from the chains that bound me in a prison of becoming a mindless clone, a shell of the person God created me to be with a Stepford Wife mentality. There have been countless times I have been excluded from my children's lives, attempts to fully replace me and determined opposition to keep my time with them to a minimum. But my children know that I love them. My daughter has told me that I am the strongest person she knows and she wants to be just like me - a fighter. Definitely my proudest badge of honor.
I have suffered from depression as a result of the abuse as well as other heavy situations in this life and each time I have felt the weight was too much to bear on my own I have asked for help. My ex-husband does not understand nor does he believe in mental illness. The cult has beat it into him that there is no such thing, its purely self-focus and selfishness and therefore it is to be punished. I recently sought treatment for depression (no self-harm or substance abuse, just extreme sadness) and when questioned on this by my ex-husband I hesitated to provide much information as the last time I sought treatment he petitioned the court to revoke my visitation with my children (thankfully the judge was not phased by the delusions presented by his attorney and the petition was dismissed), this was 3 years ago. This time around He pushed and pushed for more and more information and when I said that wasn't his business, that was private medical information and what information I had provided to him was sufficient he followed the same route as the last time. Today I was served with a Complaint For Modification of Permanent Parenting Plan along with a summons. Throughout this complaint he lies and twists the truth into evil. I can't fight this on my own. I don't have an attorney and honestly I can't afford one. I am going to start drafting my answer to his response on my own because I only have 30 days to respond, but an attorney would definitely be needed in trial. Your help and support would be a great help and received with immense humility. My children do not deserve to be beat down the way I was and brainwashed to believe that they can't be sad or angry or anxious or worried. They deserve to be able to choose for themselves what life they want to live, not the one their "church" chooses for them. Would you please pray, even if you can't donate? Prayer does work, it got me out of a cult and it helps me daily. Thank you for even just taking the time to read through this and for your help.
With much love and appreciation,
Rachel
I have suffered from depression as a result of the abuse as well as other heavy situations in this life and each time I have felt the weight was too much to bear on my own I have asked for help. My ex-husband does not understand nor does he believe in mental illness. The cult has beat it into him that there is no such thing, its purely self-focus and selfishness and therefore it is to be punished. I recently sought treatment for depression (no self-harm or substance abuse, just extreme sadness) and when questioned on this by my ex-husband I hesitated to provide much information as the last time I sought treatment he petitioned the court to revoke my visitation with my children (thankfully the judge was not phased by the delusions presented by his attorney and the petition was dismissed), this was 3 years ago. This time around He pushed and pushed for more and more information and when I said that wasn't his business, that was private medical information and what information I had provided to him was sufficient he followed the same route as the last time. Today I was served with a Complaint For Modification of Permanent Parenting Plan along with a summons. Throughout this complaint he lies and twists the truth into evil. I can't fight this on my own. I don't have an attorney and honestly I can't afford one. I am going to start drafting my answer to his response on my own because I only have 30 days to respond, but an attorney would definitely be needed in trial. Your help and support would be a great help and received with immense humility. My children do not deserve to be beat down the way I was and brainwashed to believe that they can't be sad or angry or anxious or worried. They deserve to be able to choose for themselves what life they want to live, not the one their "church" chooses for them. Would you please pray, even if you can't donate? Prayer does work, it got me out of a cult and it helps me daily. Thank you for even just taking the time to read through this and for your help.
With much love and appreciation,
Rachel
Organizer
Rachel Phillips
Organizer
Murfreesboro, TN
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