Facial Feminization Needed - HELP!
The attached photo is an artists representation of what FFS would do to my face.
Seems like this is the place to tell the long version of my story.
I have gender dysphoria. I am a girl - always have been. I had the unfortunate birth defect of having been born with the wrong chromosome and even worse, having testosterone poison my body with what to me - were horrible defects.
I knew growing up that I was different - I didn't act like the other boys. They would do and say things that always made me very uncomfortable. By age 12 I knew something was wrong... but back then there wasn't the internet and I had no idea what was going on with me.
I'm smart so I adapted but it never felt right to me. I even eventually learned to not let it show how uncomfortable I was taking my top off when I went swimming at the public pool. I was still horrified at things that happened as a result of testosterone poisoning. My face was still ok, but I had hair getting thicker on my jawline, and even worse was the day that I discovered hair on my chest. I tried to NOT shave my face forever while I started to immediately remove the ones from my chest.
At age 16, I managed to get my hands on birth control pills, stupid now I know, but back then I was trying to stop what was happening to me.
At this age, I also discovered the fear of losing my family as a transgendered woman was working where my Dad worked and well, the way he talked about her was both enlightening -for me to discover that what I was wasn't just me - and terrifying - because he was crystal clear he didn't like it and the words he used were words I'd never heard him use until then.
So I kept it a secret.
But I kept suppressing my male traits. I found herbals when I was in my 20s and started my first round of real estrogen when I hit my 30s. I was still scared of losing my family... in fact, I'm only positive that my mom will continue to accept me.
Estrogen was an off and on battle for me from this point on. I had a hard time affording it, jobs for my professional skill sets were hard to come by so I was often forced to work for jobs that made less than ideal money.
Now that I am in my 40s I am doing this for myself finally as I just can't take it anymore. I live largely as a male at work and female most of the rest of the time. The only thing holding me back from going 100% fulltime is my facial boney structure.
That's why I need FFS. FFS for those who still don't know, is FACIAL FEMINIZATION SURGERY.
In my case, I need at least a forehead feminization, eyebrow lift, cheek augmentation, a jaw/chin remodel, a tracheal shave, rhinoplasty, blepharoplasty, and possibly a lip-lift. This all depends on the doctor I can manage to eventually afford.
I really want to schedule this surgery as soon as possible. I have been forced most of my life to not be me, and I'm reaching a breaking point for living the lie.
I wish there was something else that would help me fix this. Magic to make me a cis-female? Head transplant? Genetic restructuring from a cellular level? All of that is science fiction for now. But the one bright side is that the techniques to do what I need have come a long way since I was 16 and the results are generally better.
My life is literally on hold now, as all I'm trying to do is find a job that will allow me to survive while hopefully saving the money I need for this. Thing is saving for this myself, it would take so long, and my depression related to my dysphoria does seem to get worse and worse lately.
Any help would be soooooo appreciated! I'm not looking for people to send me their life savings... I truly think that if just one person can send 5$ and then email the campaign to 10 or more friends and they did the same thing... I might get my life back really fast.
I was so nervous.
I spoke to Dr. Luis Capitan, and he put me at ease right away. I hadn't actually used Skype for a communication before, so I didn't realize at first that my camera wasn't on, and it was only after Dr. Capitan asked me to turn it on and told me how that I realized he could finally see me.
He thought I already looked pretty good but he also agreed with my personal assessment of my needs. My forehead and browline, my jaw and chin, and a lip lift to make my upper lip conform more to proportional conditions that a feminine face would have. A secondary effect would be that my upper teeth would likely show through whenever my mouth went into a relaxed position.
The call itself lasted for about 25 minutes.
The longest part of the wait was to come now - today is Friday, and Monday was the Skype call. I had to wait 4 whole days to get my quote and then figure out if I could find out the best way to get the money so that I can schedule this surgery as fast as possible.
Thanks for reading!