Children's Advocacy Center of Kane County
Donation protected
It happened 21 years ago yet I can recall that day as if it happened yesterday. The date was April 30, 1998 I was 13 years old . The sun on my face as my mother pulled into the parking lot of this unfamiliar place. While it was a bright sunny day I was living in a world of darkness. I knew why I was there and was dreading it. This place was called The Children’s Advocacy Center. There are 39 of these centers in Illinois and last year alone saw more then 10, 500 children in 2018.
As my mother, sister, and I made our way to the front door the anxiety and fear consumed me. I will never forget it. I just wanted this day to be over.
When we opened the door bells on the door jingled notifying the staff someone had entered. Soon a young dark haired woman appeared introducing herself as Larissa. She was a very kind woman who brought my sister and I bagels and juice. She then pointed out the games, videos, and books in the waiting room we could use while she went in a room to talk to our mom. The room she took our mom into was right next to the waiting room. Shortly after they closed the door I could hear my mom sobbing and the words, “I should have known. I missed all the warning signs.”
My sister and I put on the movie the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Eventually my mother still in tears joined us in the waiting room again.
Soon after another woman appeared named Meghan. She explained to my sister and I we would be going back and talking to her. I went first and followed her out of the waiting room and down a hallway where we came upon a small room. I sat down at the table and couldn’t help but notice the two naked dolls under it. There was this large mirror in such a small room that I just kept staring at my reflection. I was consumed with anxiety, fear, shame, and guilt. I thought I was in trouble and they wouldn't believe me. I didn’t know it but a police detective and child protective services was on the other side watching us.
Meghan and I began talking about school, my life at home, my relationship with my sisters, and eventually we began talking about the secrets I kept locked away in my diary. I was so uncomfortable describing one story after another of being sexually assaulted at the hands of my older cousin. The cousin I looked up to as the brother I never had. She took notes as I told her the multiple times of sexual abuse I experienced from age 11-13 while I babysat, family gatherings, grandpa’s birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, family dinners, etc. Eventually she pulled those two dolls out and I had to demonstrate what happened to me.
I had been told repeatedly nobody would believe me. That I had no proof. I feared she wouldn't believe me as I told her the details of what happened.
Meghan showed such compassion and support through the entire interview with me. The more I talked the better I was feeling getting all these secrets I was threatened not to tell anyone. I quickly realized this was a safe place. That I wasn't in trouble for not telling sooner. Most importantly I was told, "I believe you Erin." by the forensic interviewer.
I had been with her for an hour when we finally finished. She told me how brave I was and that it took a lot of courage to tell her. She reassured me my cousin would never hurt me again. I walked into the center terrified and left feeling loved and cared for. It takes a special person to work at a CAC hearing daily horror stories of children being physically and sexually abused and then going to court to fight for justice for these children.
For over a year the CAC provided our family with counseling. My parents were in a parent support group. My sister and I were both in girls groups with other survivors of child sexual abuse. I also received individual counseling there. All of the services we received for over a year came at no cost. CAC's are 501c3 nonprofit agencies providing everything free to families. For many children without a CAC they would never get any help often leading down a path to self-destruction.
Today I am raising money for the Kane County CAC. I live in Kane County. I specifically am raising money for this center because of the directors amazing dedication to these children. Deb Bree has been the executive director since 2012. Last May Deb Bree the mother of 4 children the youngest just 2 was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Even as she goes through Chemo she continues to show up every day to help bring justice for abused children. She is an inspiration. Her center could really use the financial support right now. So I hope you will give what you can. Help give children a path towards healing.
One child abuse case at the CAC costs several thousand dollars when you add up the forensic interview medical exam, advocates that go to court to help children through the legal system, and counseling.
Kane County CAC is an accredited by the National Children's Alliance.
Thank you for your support and helping me reach my goal.
Hear more of my story here: https://youtu.be/vcISu0q4qUA
www.erinslaw.org
As my mother, sister, and I made our way to the front door the anxiety and fear consumed me. I will never forget it. I just wanted this day to be over.
When we opened the door bells on the door jingled notifying the staff someone had entered. Soon a young dark haired woman appeared introducing herself as Larissa. She was a very kind woman who brought my sister and I bagels and juice. She then pointed out the games, videos, and books in the waiting room we could use while she went in a room to talk to our mom. The room she took our mom into was right next to the waiting room. Shortly after they closed the door I could hear my mom sobbing and the words, “I should have known. I missed all the warning signs.”
My sister and I put on the movie the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Eventually my mother still in tears joined us in the waiting room again.
Soon after another woman appeared named Meghan. She explained to my sister and I we would be going back and talking to her. I went first and followed her out of the waiting room and down a hallway where we came upon a small room. I sat down at the table and couldn’t help but notice the two naked dolls under it. There was this large mirror in such a small room that I just kept staring at my reflection. I was consumed with anxiety, fear, shame, and guilt. I thought I was in trouble and they wouldn't believe me. I didn’t know it but a police detective and child protective services was on the other side watching us.
Meghan and I began talking about school, my life at home, my relationship with my sisters, and eventually we began talking about the secrets I kept locked away in my diary. I was so uncomfortable describing one story after another of being sexually assaulted at the hands of my older cousin. The cousin I looked up to as the brother I never had. She took notes as I told her the multiple times of sexual abuse I experienced from age 11-13 while I babysat, family gatherings, grandpa’s birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, family dinners, etc. Eventually she pulled those two dolls out and I had to demonstrate what happened to me.
I had been told repeatedly nobody would believe me. That I had no proof. I feared she wouldn't believe me as I told her the details of what happened.
Meghan showed such compassion and support through the entire interview with me. The more I talked the better I was feeling getting all these secrets I was threatened not to tell anyone. I quickly realized this was a safe place. That I wasn't in trouble for not telling sooner. Most importantly I was told, "I believe you Erin." by the forensic interviewer.
I had been with her for an hour when we finally finished. She told me how brave I was and that it took a lot of courage to tell her. She reassured me my cousin would never hurt me again. I walked into the center terrified and left feeling loved and cared for. It takes a special person to work at a CAC hearing daily horror stories of children being physically and sexually abused and then going to court to fight for justice for these children.
For over a year the CAC provided our family with counseling. My parents were in a parent support group. My sister and I were both in girls groups with other survivors of child sexual abuse. I also received individual counseling there. All of the services we received for over a year came at no cost. CAC's are 501c3 nonprofit agencies providing everything free to families. For many children without a CAC they would never get any help often leading down a path to self-destruction.
Today I am raising money for the Kane County CAC. I live in Kane County. I specifically am raising money for this center because of the directors amazing dedication to these children. Deb Bree has been the executive director since 2012. Last May Deb Bree the mother of 4 children the youngest just 2 was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Even as she goes through Chemo she continues to show up every day to help bring justice for abused children. She is an inspiration. Her center could really use the financial support right now. So I hope you will give what you can. Help give children a path towards healing.
One child abuse case at the CAC costs several thousand dollars when you add up the forensic interview medical exam, advocates that go to court to help children through the legal system, and counseling.
Kane County CAC is an accredited by the National Children's Alliance.
Thank you for your support and helping me reach my goal.
Hear more of my story here: https://youtu.be/vcISu0q4qUA
www.erinslaw.org
Organizer
Erin Merryn
Organizer
Geneva, IL
