Capturing the Dog
Donation protected
Goal Summary: Photography equipment for mental illness therapy.
Mental Illness is not a choice and certainly not something I chose nor wish on anyone. It’s not something you can simply avoid or tell yourself it‘s not real.
One in six Australians is currently experiencing depression or anxiety or both. I am one of those ‘numbers’.
I have lived with mental illness all of my life. I have experienced the highs, the debilitating lows and I have contemplated suicide on more than one occasion. The shame and stigma (especially as a male) is very hard to live with and to know those around you are worrying about you adds even more pressure.
Sadly, I have lost friends because they cannot accept I am unable to just snap out of it. They talk about the good times and can’t discuss the troubled times. I have also had friends fade out or only show up when they want something.
I'm not perfect. I know I am damaged, flawed and at times feel broken. I’m not a delicate snow flake - I will always try to do what is right and support the weak or voiceless - even when I am weak or voiceless. I will keep trying even when it feels like all hope is gone.
The best therapy I have found for myself is photography and it seems to be the one thing that at least helps me cope with the black dog whom has followed me like a faithful friend in disguise.
The black dog has been much louder lately. Recently - the night before I took this photo, I was sitting on the couch shaking to the point my legs were hurting and I was on the verge of tears. For hours I just sat there, feeling helpless and broken. Somehow, I finally managed to surrender to sleep, however I woke at the crack of dawn with a mission in mind - to get in the car and just go.
After a two hour drive, I was lucky enough to capture this shot. With that shot captured I was finally able to exhale and breathe in the fresh air, the calmness - the anxiety slowly subsiding and that black dog surrendering at my feet, even if only for a while. With a camera in my hand, I feel like my life has meaning, that the world makes sense.
It’s in this moment that I realise I am a photographer and the camera is my tool - my coping mechanism when all else fails. I want to embrace what I have denied for the last decade - To be the photographer I am.
I have a camera I purchased second hand over ten years ago and the lens is even older. I am humbly asking for help in replacing my gear with more up to date equipment. I also intend to purchase the gear second hand to keep costs down. The photography work I wish to do cannot be done with my current gear.
It has taken me many years to accept that I really am a good person, who cares deeply for others and tries to help others however I can. I believe in paying it forward and I would be grateful for any help you could offer to help me achieve my goal.
Without proper equipment I simply cannot capture the shots I would love the world to see - and that really affects my mental state.
Any amount you can spare would be gratefully accepted and you will be able to see my work on my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/capturethedog/
With many thanks, Tim
**edit** I have been told that some people dont feel comfortable supporting me via this page but would make a donation via PayPal, i have created this link to my PayPal account for those wishing to support me. Thank you
PayPal
http://paypal.me/capturethedog
**Update, I've had a small article written about me in the Toowoomba Chronicle (4th June, 19), which I've included here for you to read.
Organizer
Tim Williams
Organizer
Charlton QLD