It Is What It Is
Donation protected
“It is What It is”
A saying that I’ve grown up hearing. My mom, Jean DeRuiter, has been through more than the average person can withstand. Most people would give up, feel sorry for themselves, and give up… but not her. She faces each challenge head on (with a great sense of humor!) because “it is what it is” and she can’t change it.
In 2006, she had a heart attack which actually caused her to die and forced the doctors to have to bring her back to life. If that wasn’t scary enough, the blood clot that caused the heart attack came from the cancer that had infected her kidneys. She battled kidney cancer for years and is currently kicking its ass to the point where she is a year without any complications. We thought everything was going so well but my mom was “waiting for the other shoe to drop” (another saying that I grew up hearing). She thought that since her kidneys were under control, she would go for a typical mammogram because she hadn’t gotten one in recent years. We did not expect the results. After many exams and 2 biopsies later, she was diagnosed with breast cancer, in her right breast, about the size of a dime. She got a lumpectomy in September and is expected to receive 32-36 radiation treatments, 5 days a week for 6-7 weeks. Thankfully, she will not need chemotherapy but there is a $75 copayment before each radiation treatment.
We’ve struggled since I was little to make ends meet. I knew from a young age that money was limited and that I had to get high grades in order to get a scholarship to college, because without one, I couldn’t go. I worked hard because I was not going to burden my mom with the cost of my education. I also got a job as soon as I got my license in order to help support my mom and me. When she was diagnosed and I knew that she was going to need to take time off of work, I offered to take a semester off of school and work full time in retail and potentially even pick up a second job in order to keep us afloat. She, being the best mom ever, refused to let me put my education on hold. She could have gone on disability after the heart attack but knew that we wouldn’t be able to survive based on that alone, so she continued to work. However, she needs to take a break from work in order to protect herself from lymphedema (swelling of the arm after lymph nodes are removed due to a buildup of fluid and lack of bacterial filtration). While I have picked up extra shifts at work (close to 40 hours a week on top of a 15 credit semester), we are having some problems making ends meet as well as paying for her medical treatments.
We understand that everyone has their own issues and that money is tight, but we are asking for a little support. I am so blessed to have a mother like her and losing her would be demobilizing to me. There is no way to repay her for everything she’s done for me but if I can minimize the financial burden even a little bit, it would be a start.
My mom is going to face this challenge head on and fight like the superwoman she is. This will not break her, this will only make her stronger.
“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places – Ernest Hemingway”
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts,
Jean DeRuiter & Amanda Bonkoski
A saying that I’ve grown up hearing. My mom, Jean DeRuiter, has been through more than the average person can withstand. Most people would give up, feel sorry for themselves, and give up… but not her. She faces each challenge head on (with a great sense of humor!) because “it is what it is” and she can’t change it.
In 2006, she had a heart attack which actually caused her to die and forced the doctors to have to bring her back to life. If that wasn’t scary enough, the blood clot that caused the heart attack came from the cancer that had infected her kidneys. She battled kidney cancer for years and is currently kicking its ass to the point where she is a year without any complications. We thought everything was going so well but my mom was “waiting for the other shoe to drop” (another saying that I grew up hearing). She thought that since her kidneys were under control, she would go for a typical mammogram because she hadn’t gotten one in recent years. We did not expect the results. After many exams and 2 biopsies later, she was diagnosed with breast cancer, in her right breast, about the size of a dime. She got a lumpectomy in September and is expected to receive 32-36 radiation treatments, 5 days a week for 6-7 weeks. Thankfully, she will not need chemotherapy but there is a $75 copayment before each radiation treatment.
We’ve struggled since I was little to make ends meet. I knew from a young age that money was limited and that I had to get high grades in order to get a scholarship to college, because without one, I couldn’t go. I worked hard because I was not going to burden my mom with the cost of my education. I also got a job as soon as I got my license in order to help support my mom and me. When she was diagnosed and I knew that she was going to need to take time off of work, I offered to take a semester off of school and work full time in retail and potentially even pick up a second job in order to keep us afloat. She, being the best mom ever, refused to let me put my education on hold. She could have gone on disability after the heart attack but knew that we wouldn’t be able to survive based on that alone, so she continued to work. However, she needs to take a break from work in order to protect herself from lymphedema (swelling of the arm after lymph nodes are removed due to a buildup of fluid and lack of bacterial filtration). While I have picked up extra shifts at work (close to 40 hours a week on top of a 15 credit semester), we are having some problems making ends meet as well as paying for her medical treatments.
We understand that everyone has their own issues and that money is tight, but we are asking for a little support. I am so blessed to have a mother like her and losing her would be demobilizing to me. There is no way to repay her for everything she’s done for me but if I can minimize the financial burden even a little bit, it would be a start.
My mom is going to face this challenge head on and fight like the superwoman she is. This will not break her, this will only make her stronger.
“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places – Ernest Hemingway”
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts,
Jean DeRuiter & Amanda Bonkoski
Organizer
Jean DeRuiter
Organizer
West Sayville, NY
