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Keeping My Life Afloat

$18,188 of $20,000 goal

Raised by 98 people in 5 months
Created July 31, 2018
I usually make a living consulting on intellectual property (patents) legal matters related to wireless communications engineering. I am also a volunteer seminary professor specializing in Reformed theology, primarily theology proper (the being, acts, and nature of God).

For over ten years, my dear wife's illnesses require me to work from home (or be very close to home).  The consulting work is feast or famine. For over a year now it has been the latter, and I am, well, after maxing out all available means of credit, quite simply broke...to the tune of having less than $130 in my checking account at the time I am writing this.

I am embarrassed and shamed to have to create this GFM project, but I must put my personal pride aside in order to keep pressing onward.

If you are reading this it is likely you know something about me and should be confident I am a man of my word. If you do not know me, you might run some internet searches for "Ask Mr. Religion", or "Reformed Theology Institute".

In the meantime, not wanting to be just a mendicant, I will be pressing forward seeking any means of income outside my usual consulting efforts if an employer will have a 65 year old gray beard...greeter, burger flipper, janitor, whatever it takes. 

I don't know how I will make it through August, so that is my immediate and most pressing timeframe. My basic monthly living expenses are about $3,000. Accordingly, I have set the goal for this GFM effort to cover 6 months of expenses under the assumption by that time, if the Lord is willing, I should be in a stable situation.

Thank you for reading this far, and no matter what your decision may be, please remember me in your thoughts or prayers.
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Update 54
Posted by Patrick Reilly
2 days ago
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When I get immersed in my daily routines I actually forget the troubles swirling about in my life. Keeping busy reduces my stress levels. But, as the late evening falls, when all are asleep in my home and I am left alone with my thougts, I am hit hard by what lies ahead in my life. I turn to melatonin to calm me down and it does bring some restful sleep.

When I awake my morning devotional readings help me greatly to face the day ahead, usually full of calls from creditors, vulture opportunists (at last count, I have over thirty now added to my blocked call lists), worries about what I can put on the table for meals, caring for my three Shih Tzus, wondering about what new trouble will arise. My days are marked by milestones. Can I make things work until the weekend? Will I be able to stay above water until my birthday (Feb 3)? and so on. One day at a time (Matthew 6:25-34).

My wife's infrequent coherence spares her all the daily worries that I am grappling with now. God's hard providences are sometimes a real blessing. As she rests I watch over her thinking, do not be troubled my love, we are together and will weather the storm by the grace of God.

I wanted to make a special mention of the wonderful folks at the Puritanboard.com who have been so gracious and generous in their support. I cannot put into words how much it has meant to me. Quite literally, these kind men and women have made it possible for me to persevere over the past many months. You folks are in my prayers daily that the Lord will rain down blessings upon you for the blessings you have given me (Deuteronomy 15:10). Thank you so much, beloved brothers and sisters.
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Update 53
Posted by Patrick Reilly
5 days ago
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I called upon the Lord in distress: the Lord answered me, and set me in a large place. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me?n(Psalm 118:5-6)

God has been good to me, using His providential acts via the kindness of so many of you.

Thank you all.
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Update 52
Posted by Patrick Reilly
10 days ago
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The weekend has been very rough for me. Depression is overwhelming. I need your fervent prayers.

Your support has meant so much to me. So much. One day at a time is my current mantra.
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Update 51
Posted by Patrick Reilly
20 days ago
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I am overwhelmed by the support and kindness that has been extended to me. I quite literally did not think I would be able to make it through the holidays. But, the providence of God was kind to me at this time, working through others like you all on my behalf. I begin each day wondering, "Is today the day that I just give up?" This seems maudlin, but it focuses my attention on the things that matter. Each day is precious and facing it as if it were the last day of my life lifts my spirits such that my tendency towards depression is lessened.

I have contracted a terrible toothache this past week. Treating it with Ambusol to lessen the pain. Extraction is out of the question in my current circumstances. I once had to pull my one of my own tooths while in the Vietnam jungle, and if it comes to that, I am prepared to repeat the experience. The pain has reduced my online participation in social circles. They say a toothache can drive a person mad, yet I have been diligent to keep the pain medicine applied often. Thankfully, today things are less painful and I am hoping it was just some infection in the molar that is on the mend. The added benefit is that I am much less hungry and can afford to lose the weight. ;)

My wife's wounds from her fall three weeks ago have subsided. I have been at her bedside treating her face three times daily with ice packs. Her rest has become less fitful. She awoke a few times and the woman who makes me want to be a better man every day smiled and laughed as I made some fun of her swollen face. A moonpie I lovingly kissed while she protested joyfully. Thanks be to God!

I cannot know what the future holds for me. I am simply grateful that I am able to say "I am still here, Lord, by your gracious providence."
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$18,188 of $20,000 goal

Raised by 98 people in 5 months
Created July 31, 2018
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