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Keeping My Life Afloat

$11,624 of $20,000 goal

Raised by 63 people in 3 months
I usually make a living consulting on intellectual property (patents) legal matters related to wireless communications engineering. I am also a volunteer seminary professor specializing in Reformed theology, primarily theology proper (the being, acts, and nature of God).

For over ten years, my dear wife's illnesses require me to work from home (or be very close to home).  The consulting work is feast or famine. For over a year now it has been the latter, and I am, well, after maxing out all available means of credit, quite simply broke...to the tune of having less than $130 in my checking account at the time I am writing this.

I am embarrassed and shamed to have to create this GFM project, but I must put my personal pride aside in order to keep pressing onward.

If you are reading this it is likely you know something about me and should be confident I am a man of my word. If you do not know me, you might run some internet searches for "Ask Mr. Religion", or "Reformed Theology Institute".

In the meantime, not wanting to be just a mendicant, I will be pressing forward seeking any means of income outside my usual consulting efforts if an employer will have a 65 year old gray beard...greeter, burger flipper, janitor, whatever it takes. 

I don't know how I will make it through August, so that is my immediate and most pressing timeframe. My basic monthly living expenses are about $3,000. Accordingly, I have set the goal for this GFM effort to cover 6 months of expenses under the assumption by that time, if the Lord is willing, I should be in a stable situation.

Thank you for reading this far, and no matter what your decision may be, please remember me in your thoughts or prayers.
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This morning, while reading from Psalm 119, verse 143 described my situation:

Psalm 119:43:
Trouble and anguish have taken hold on me: yet thy commandments are my delights.

I am weak in the knees, trembling often the past few days, but take joy in all that the Lord has commanded.

Each day I awake in gratitude to all of you and resolve to persevere yet another day. In Philippians 4:6–7, Paul commands us not to worry about anything. Instead, we are to pray. That may seem to us too simpleminded. Yet in reality, Paul is telling us exactly how to combat worry. If worry is a conversation we have with ourselves about something we can’t do anything about, then prayer is a conversation we have with God about something he can do everything about.

Whenever we feel like a situation is out of our hands, or out of our control, there is always something we can do: we can always move toward God in prayer. If worry is the anxious, unproductive conversation between a problem and ourselves, prayer brings God into that conversation.

Paul also notes that we are to present our requests to God “with thanksgiving” (Philippians 4:6). What does this mean? At a minimum, it means we should thank God for all the good he has done, is doing, and promises to do. That’s a lot to thank God for. This thanksgiving in prayer is part of what forces worry to begin to fade.

I believe, Lord. Help me in my unbelief.
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After my update yesterday and dear friend reached out to me and shared in his abundance. The weight upon me became lighter and my spirits were lifted. I really cannot form the right words to express how much this meant to me.

May God bless him and all of you that have been so kind to me.
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For the first time in at least thirty years, I have come to the point where I have about $130.00 to my name in available cash on hand. Thinking and trembling about that electrifies my mind and emotions. I become hyper-aware of all things around me. This may sound like a terrible thing, but it is actually quite calming.

I have come close to this dire state of affairs in the past four months, but providence carried me forward. I actually witnessed God's hand in my affairs. We rarely are able to point to significant events in our lives and declare with full assurance "God was working there!"

Yet in these past four months I have been able to make that declaration several times. These events provide actual evidence to me that He is there, watching over us all, acting in our lives. Sometimes faith needs these evidences to strengthen us. Perhaps being brought low in our lives is one of the means by which our eyes are opened and we can see God at work. How wise are God's ways.

I am blessed to have been witness to them and joyful that God makes His presence known to His children.

Please keep me in your prayers. I am living proof that they are working and pray you are as blessed as I am at this very moment.
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I have three sick Shih Tzus on my hands at present. Must have been from some bad treat batch. Threw the suspected treats away and now dealing with the aftermaths of dogs with upset bowels. Three days and counting, up at all hours traipsing after them to clean up. Today some glimmer of hope. They have started eating again, albeit small amounts. It is sad to see them not at their best.

In my better times it would be off to the vet for remedies. For now internet research must suffice, like using small doses of human Immodium.

Each unexpected event like this becomes magnified when one is in a dire financial state. A seemingly innocuous event can result in total collapse of any semblance of financial security. Nowadays, even a quick trip to the grocery store becomes a strict exercise in distinguishing between the essential and the nice to have.

It sounds like I am whining with my mouth full. Getting it down in public makes my reality more bearable, while I presumptuously assume others are partaking in my own situation. Please suffer me the indiscretion, pray for me, extend your patience and kindness towards me, but most of all, forgive me.
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$11,624 of $20,000 goal

Raised by 63 people in 3 months
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