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Keeping My Life Afloat

$21,777 of $25,000 goal

Raised by 137 people in 9 months
I usually make a living consulting on intellectual property (patents) legal matters related to wireless communications engineering. I am also a volunteer seminary professor specializing in Reformed theology, primarily theology proper (the being, acts, and nature of God).

For over ten years, my dear wife's illnesses require me to work from home (or be very close to home).  The consulting work is feast or famine. For over a year now it has been the latter, and I am, well, after maxing out all available means of credit, quite simply broke...to the tune of having less than $130 in my checking account at the time I am writing this.

I am embarrassed and shamed to have to create this GFM project, but I must put my personal pride aside in order to keep pressing onward.

If you are reading this it is likely you know something about me and should be confident I am a man of my word. If you do not know me, you might run some internet searches for "Ask Mr. Religion", or "Reformed Theology Institute".

In the meantime, not wanting to be just a mendicant, I will be pressing forward seeking any means of income outside my usual consulting efforts if an employer will have a 65 year old gray beard...greeter, burger flipper, janitor, whatever it takes. 
 
Thank you for reading this far, and no matter what your decision may be, please remember me in your thoughts or prayers.

UPDATE Feb. 15, 2019:
I have lost my home through foreclosure proceedings and have but three weeks to vacate.  I am very stressed and struggling to resist falling into despair. 

Your ongoing generosity and prayers are greatly needed such that I will be able to find new living arrangements.
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For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9).

How wonderful is our Lord and how mysterious to our finite minds. For over fifty years I have studied the Word of God and the works of the saints discussing the being and attributes of God (theology proper).

One would think that a half a century of devotion and dedication to learning about God that I would have a fair idea of who He **is**. Blessedly, I do not, for if I did then I would, in my arrogance, now be able to place God in the Dock and ask Him to give an account of Himself based upon all that **I** think and reason about His actions and providences.

Imagine the manifest arrogance that would ask God with the question in an accusative manner, "What have you done?" Rather we all just shut our mouths rather than deign to ask such a question.

In fifty years of study, prayer, and contemplation, I am confident that I have only scratched the surface of what it means to "know" who God is. I rest satisfied that only an approximation of the reality of God is possible, that I will never get answers to all that I want to know about **why** God does what He does. I rejoice that I know God is good and all that He does is good.

Indeed, God has been good to me; this I affirm unwaveringly. I may not like how the goodness of God is manifested in my life, but I must accept it and redirect my cross-examinations to my own walk of faith. I often do not like what I see from this introspection, revealing my own defects and deficiencies.

Please pray for me, my dear wife, and my wonderful son. Pray that we are drawn nearer to God, especially as I deal with the goodness laid at my feet by Him, no matter how God's actions remain inexplicable to our feeble minds.
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Five days remain until I must be out of my home. It has been hectic dealing with all the arrangements to be made. Your wonderful generosity has enabled me to have most of the funds I need to pull it off. I am fighting despair all day long now going about the sad chores required.

Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever (Psalm 73:25-26).

I have my portion from God and know He gives and takes away all for my own good. How blessed is His name!

I wonder about those that make a living profiting over the misfortune of others. How could I make a living buying foreclosed homes, then meeting with the former owners to arrange their vacating of the place they raised their children within, loved, and made memories that are cherished? If indeed there are means of making a living not intended for Christians, I suspect that this vocation would be among the list.

What a world Adam brought down upon us. We deserve the curse and the judgment of the Lord for our sins, that is not in doubt. How I long for the new heavens and new earth. Come, Lord Jesus, come.
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A dear brother in the Lord rode his bike nine miles from his home to pay a surprise visit with me yesterday. He offered me words of encouragement, fellowship, and prayer together. Such a wonderful gesture on the Sabbath.

Thank you all for your ongoing concerns, encouragements, and prayers.

While I remain low in spirit, today seems full of opportunities and I am encouraged.
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No sleep at all last night. Have been overcome with panic as the time to vacate my home looms near. Paralysis accompanies the panic, much like a deer in headlights. I've been trying to negotiate some deals with various storage companies so I can get everything but the essentials stored away. These businesses all want lots of cash for storage space. For that matter, I do not even know where we will be going to stay afterwards.

My stream of consciousness notwithstanding, writing things down is a means of calming me a wee bit. I am a mess right now.
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Raised by 137 people in 9 months
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