Angellstrong
Don protégé
“I just want to see my boys grow up!”
Those were the first thoughts that went through my mind as I lay, still groggy from the anesthesia, from my Upper GI and Ultrasound. A team of General Surgeons and a GI Specialist were standing bedside, hands folded over in front of them, a hint of pain in their creased eyebrows, knowing, what they had just told me was one of the harder things to say for a person who had gotten into their profession to make people feel better.
“When we did her upper GI, We saw the esophagus, that looked good. We saw the lining of her stomach, that looked clear and good, we saw her lymph nodes, they looked good as well…..we did see both lobes of her liver, right and left, and we did see the spots that were identified on the earlier ultrasounds…..It is what we thought it could be….You have metastasized cancer in your Liver….We took a Biopsy to find a primary source and have had that sent that down to labs.”
I turned to my husband, who was shaken to the point of disbelief, turned back to the Doctors trying to find words…..
“Amy!….We don’t know what type of Cancer it is yet! It could be a Cancer that is very treatable!”
And the rest of the Doctor’s consoling thoughts just went to background noise.
And that’s when life takes a left turn: That moment you live in, between a breadth and a scream. And that’s when my journey begins.
As I lay there in the Endoscopy recovery room, I started to take and inventory of my life, what I have done, what still needs to be done, what we have worked for. Wait, STOP! We have to start making phone calls, call my Mom and Dad, how are they going to react, I can only imagine! My Husband, John, sitting right next to the bed, sobbing uncontrollably, looked up and said he had to call his mom to get the word out. What path does a person take after doctors have just old you your life has is in peril?
I was told it would take 48 hours for a biopsy result. You have heard of Cancer from stories and people you talk to and read about, but you don’t know the PROCESS of Cancer. I had to find the Point of origin. Metastasized Liver Cancer means that cancer cells have migrated to this point. 48 hours of waiting….
I finally got the call from my doctor. “We haven’t found the primary source yet. We know there is malignancy there, however, we haven’t found a source. The good news is this, these tests are a rule of exclusion, meaning we test for the worst Cancers down to the less case cancers. The bad news is we need to find the source. It is not uncommon to have a C.U.P. or Cancer of Unknown Primary. However, that is bad, because then we don’t know he to specifically go after the cancer cells. I am having our oncology department do more testing on some more slides so we can have a primary source. I will call as soon as I get those results. Stay strong and we will have an answer for your soon!”
More waiting…. Then, 24 hours later, a call from my doctors office. “Amy, we have found the primary source. It is Cholangiocarcinoma, or Bile Duct Cancer. It is intrahepatic, and I have a Doctor down at UIC that I know who treats this, he is one of the best. In a way there is a good angle. It is extremely close to the Liver, which gives us an idea that it hasn’t spread from a distance involving other organs in between the point of origin and the Liver. Here is the Doctors Info……” and so on…..
3 days later I found myself, in Cancer Treatment Centers of America, doing a world wind of testing. I was able to do 3 months of testing in 5 days. It was confirmed by their doctors that it was, in fact, Cholangiocarcinoma. However, CTCA were not articulate in treating this rare, aggressive form of cancer. They confirmed the Intrahepatic diagnosis was a stage 4 diagnosis of metastasized tumors, and that untreated, I had 3 months of life left in me. With Chemo therapy, 1, MAYBE 2 years of life left. Jaw dropping, and loss for words.
In the days that followed I saw three specialists and found one that gave me a plan that I felt, not only comfortable with, but was the path that was going to lead me to a cancer free result. The plan was this…. They will start me on rounds of Chemo therapy, followed by genetic testing to see if I could be a match for Trial therapies, No surgery at this point since the tumors are in both lobes of my Liver, however if you start getting better our surgical oncologists will re visit that thought, and we will think happy thoughts.
I did have options. However it was going to be long road, but it looked good. “Great, I thought. So how soon will I be able to have surgery, when will I start feeling better, how soon will the cancer be shrinking?” The doctor looked at me and responded “Everyone is different, so I can’t say how you will respond. It can go either way, bottom line…..you have Cancer….” I can’t sugar coat it anymore. I…have…cancer…
I started my first round of Chemo protocol just after my port was place in my neck. The protocol was going to be once a week, 2 weeks on, one week off for a 3 month segment. I knew it was going to rough, especially from what I was reading from other Chemo Patients, but you really don’t know the weight of it until you go through it. It would be like telling someone in the path of a Hurricane that they are about to experience some “moisture”
After that first round, I threw up for the following three days, laid on my back for all of those like I was run over by a truck, fevers, chills, incapacitated. It took me 4 days to start feeling better, just 3 days before I had to do it all over again! I couldn’t be the mother I wanted to be to my family, couldn’t be a friend to my friends, couldn’t even roll over to love my dog! THIS is no way to live. But I did it…..because I had to. After 3 months of the first segment, tests came back that showed my first segment was a failure. The numbers showed no improvement, and another round of more toxic drugs was imminent. Mentally….crushed, physically…..crushed even more. But I pulled up “my big girl pants” and pushed on. You really don’t know how strong you are until you are put into a position that the only left to save you is your strength.
I was given another option after my failed Chemo segment. I was told that I was a genetic match for an immune therapy trial. Great news! It shows promise, however it is a trial. I would be subject to different medications and more side effects worse than the Chemo. It is as difficult as the Chemo; fevers, like 104.5 for 4 hours at a crack, violent shaking to the point of exhaustion AND incapacitation, hair falling out, throwing up constantly, all the above, etc.
With ALL of this said, I know this: I might not make it through this disease, yet I feel it is my duty as a fellow human being to at least go through this process of unknowing to help find a cure for US. Why do I say US? Because WE, you and me and the rest of us reading this, are all connected. You who are reading this right now, and, if you don’t know anyone with cancer already, you WILL down the road. That is why I’m doing this; not only for my sake, and my family, but for your sake, and your family. If I can help facilitate a cure, WE all win.
The physical side of Cancer is monumental to say the least. It will take everything inside you, mentally and physically, to give yourself the advantage. The other part of Cancer is the Monetary side, and this is why I am sharing my story.
We all have pressure to pay the bills. I understand that. However, the battle against Cancer is one thing, the battle against Cancer Bills are another. My family is incurring substantial bills as a result of my treatment. You are probably aware of the bill you would get from an Emergency room visit for a broken finger, I know because I’ve experienced that as a mother of two boys. I know my husband has told me “it doesn’t matter the cost, just get better”, however I know the burden it has placed on my family, financially.
I am asking for just your financial help. The care I have been given is extraordinary, so have the bills, unfortunately. If you can find it in your heart to donate, I, and my family will be forever grateful. The donations will go toward the mounting medical and drug costs now and in the future. My time is short, and getting shorter. I need your support and help now. With your help you can have a huge impact on my family and help in easing the burden of my healthcare’s mounting bills. Your donation, whether it’s a smaller amount, or a bigger one, will give us the hope and spirit to fight another day.
The longer I have to fight gives me a chance to see a day, and it might be tomorrow or the next, that doctors find a new medication that will help cure cancer, or let me live longer to see my boys grow up into the men I have envisioned.
Thank You for reading my story. Stay strong and keep fighting. God Bless!
Amy Angell
Those were the first thoughts that went through my mind as I lay, still groggy from the anesthesia, from my Upper GI and Ultrasound. A team of General Surgeons and a GI Specialist were standing bedside, hands folded over in front of them, a hint of pain in their creased eyebrows, knowing, what they had just told me was one of the harder things to say for a person who had gotten into their profession to make people feel better.
“When we did her upper GI, We saw the esophagus, that looked good. We saw the lining of her stomach, that looked clear and good, we saw her lymph nodes, they looked good as well…..we did see both lobes of her liver, right and left, and we did see the spots that were identified on the earlier ultrasounds…..It is what we thought it could be….You have metastasized cancer in your Liver….We took a Biopsy to find a primary source and have had that sent that down to labs.”
I turned to my husband, who was shaken to the point of disbelief, turned back to the Doctors trying to find words…..
“Amy!….We don’t know what type of Cancer it is yet! It could be a Cancer that is very treatable!”
And the rest of the Doctor’s consoling thoughts just went to background noise.
And that’s when life takes a left turn: That moment you live in, between a breadth and a scream. And that’s when my journey begins.
As I lay there in the Endoscopy recovery room, I started to take and inventory of my life, what I have done, what still needs to be done, what we have worked for. Wait, STOP! We have to start making phone calls, call my Mom and Dad, how are they going to react, I can only imagine! My Husband, John, sitting right next to the bed, sobbing uncontrollably, looked up and said he had to call his mom to get the word out. What path does a person take after doctors have just old you your life has is in peril?
I was told it would take 48 hours for a biopsy result. You have heard of Cancer from stories and people you talk to and read about, but you don’t know the PROCESS of Cancer. I had to find the Point of origin. Metastasized Liver Cancer means that cancer cells have migrated to this point. 48 hours of waiting….
I finally got the call from my doctor. “We haven’t found the primary source yet. We know there is malignancy there, however, we haven’t found a source. The good news is this, these tests are a rule of exclusion, meaning we test for the worst Cancers down to the less case cancers. The bad news is we need to find the source. It is not uncommon to have a C.U.P. or Cancer of Unknown Primary. However, that is bad, because then we don’t know he to specifically go after the cancer cells. I am having our oncology department do more testing on some more slides so we can have a primary source. I will call as soon as I get those results. Stay strong and we will have an answer for your soon!”
More waiting…. Then, 24 hours later, a call from my doctors office. “Amy, we have found the primary source. It is Cholangiocarcinoma, or Bile Duct Cancer. It is intrahepatic, and I have a Doctor down at UIC that I know who treats this, he is one of the best. In a way there is a good angle. It is extremely close to the Liver, which gives us an idea that it hasn’t spread from a distance involving other organs in between the point of origin and the Liver. Here is the Doctors Info……” and so on…..
3 days later I found myself, in Cancer Treatment Centers of America, doing a world wind of testing. I was able to do 3 months of testing in 5 days. It was confirmed by their doctors that it was, in fact, Cholangiocarcinoma. However, CTCA were not articulate in treating this rare, aggressive form of cancer. They confirmed the Intrahepatic diagnosis was a stage 4 diagnosis of metastasized tumors, and that untreated, I had 3 months of life left in me. With Chemo therapy, 1, MAYBE 2 years of life left. Jaw dropping, and loss for words.
In the days that followed I saw three specialists and found one that gave me a plan that I felt, not only comfortable with, but was the path that was going to lead me to a cancer free result. The plan was this…. They will start me on rounds of Chemo therapy, followed by genetic testing to see if I could be a match for Trial therapies, No surgery at this point since the tumors are in both lobes of my Liver, however if you start getting better our surgical oncologists will re visit that thought, and we will think happy thoughts.
I did have options. However it was going to be long road, but it looked good. “Great, I thought. So how soon will I be able to have surgery, when will I start feeling better, how soon will the cancer be shrinking?” The doctor looked at me and responded “Everyone is different, so I can’t say how you will respond. It can go either way, bottom line…..you have Cancer….” I can’t sugar coat it anymore. I…have…cancer…
I started my first round of Chemo protocol just after my port was place in my neck. The protocol was going to be once a week, 2 weeks on, one week off for a 3 month segment. I knew it was going to rough, especially from what I was reading from other Chemo Patients, but you really don’t know the weight of it until you go through it. It would be like telling someone in the path of a Hurricane that they are about to experience some “moisture”
After that first round, I threw up for the following three days, laid on my back for all of those like I was run over by a truck, fevers, chills, incapacitated. It took me 4 days to start feeling better, just 3 days before I had to do it all over again! I couldn’t be the mother I wanted to be to my family, couldn’t be a friend to my friends, couldn’t even roll over to love my dog! THIS is no way to live. But I did it…..because I had to. After 3 months of the first segment, tests came back that showed my first segment was a failure. The numbers showed no improvement, and another round of more toxic drugs was imminent. Mentally….crushed, physically…..crushed even more. But I pulled up “my big girl pants” and pushed on. You really don’t know how strong you are until you are put into a position that the only left to save you is your strength.
I was given another option after my failed Chemo segment. I was told that I was a genetic match for an immune therapy trial. Great news! It shows promise, however it is a trial. I would be subject to different medications and more side effects worse than the Chemo. It is as difficult as the Chemo; fevers, like 104.5 for 4 hours at a crack, violent shaking to the point of exhaustion AND incapacitation, hair falling out, throwing up constantly, all the above, etc.
With ALL of this said, I know this: I might not make it through this disease, yet I feel it is my duty as a fellow human being to at least go through this process of unknowing to help find a cure for US. Why do I say US? Because WE, you and me and the rest of us reading this, are all connected. You who are reading this right now, and, if you don’t know anyone with cancer already, you WILL down the road. That is why I’m doing this; not only for my sake, and my family, but for your sake, and your family. If I can help facilitate a cure, WE all win.
The physical side of Cancer is monumental to say the least. It will take everything inside you, mentally and physically, to give yourself the advantage. The other part of Cancer is the Monetary side, and this is why I am sharing my story.
We all have pressure to pay the bills. I understand that. However, the battle against Cancer is one thing, the battle against Cancer Bills are another. My family is incurring substantial bills as a result of my treatment. You are probably aware of the bill you would get from an Emergency room visit for a broken finger, I know because I’ve experienced that as a mother of two boys. I know my husband has told me “it doesn’t matter the cost, just get better”, however I know the burden it has placed on my family, financially.
I am asking for just your financial help. The care I have been given is extraordinary, so have the bills, unfortunately. If you can find it in your heart to donate, I, and my family will be forever grateful. The donations will go toward the mounting medical and drug costs now and in the future. My time is short, and getting shorter. I need your support and help now. With your help you can have a huge impact on my family and help in easing the burden of my healthcare’s mounting bills. Your donation, whether it’s a smaller amount, or a bigger one, will give us the hope and spirit to fight another day.
The longer I have to fight gives me a chance to see a day, and it might be tomorrow or the next, that doctors find a new medication that will help cure cancer, or let me live longer to see my boys grow up into the men I have envisioned.
Thank You for reading my story. Stay strong and keep fighting. God Bless!
Amy Angell
Organisateur
Amy Hapl Angell
Organisateur
Bartlett, IL
