Undeserving bitter asshole
The time has come for me to ask you all for money to fuel my hobbies and adventures.
I am a 34 year old in good health, eyesight and knees. Therefor, I am sure I will find sympathetic people out there willing to sponsor the best years of my life.
At this moment I am sitting comfortably with my feet up drinking a bottle of wine while dreaming about 150.000 EUR.
Help me imagine my dream.
Breakdown of costs for my dream
70.000 EUR to buy a house to continue doing this.
50.000 EUR for expenses so I do not require to wear out my young body prematurely.
30.000 EUR in random misc expenses not worth mentioning.
Remember, every euro counts!
Every donor of 1000 EUR will get a personal visit from me if you live in Europe whenever it suits me. If this goes completely off the rails in donations this policy might change to something more time manageable.
500 EUR will give you a signed laminated photo of me on signing the same photo. Worldwide shipping included.
Anything between 1-499 EUR can earn you a Facebook friendship. First there is a tough screeing process for this, with me being the final judge. If we are already friends, I might sing you a song of my own choosing.
So friends, help me realize my dream.
This act of kindness will never be forgotten, and remembered by any higher power when its time to ask for passage.
UPDATE! Praises be, we have reached the first milestone of the first donor!
Now also, time limited offer, if you donate 3000 EUR and more I MIGHT visit you wherever you live. This is a semihonest promise.
UPDATE 2: You will all be in my alcohol fueled dreams tonight, PRAISE BE. Reached the unimaginable milestone of 40 EUR.
UPDATE 3: Reached 51 EUR. The sun is truly shining on me right now, except for its actually behind the horizon. But yet, I am humbled by your donations. I want to shout out extra deserving praise to Kim Wideslätt who donated unselfishly a miracle of 11 EUR. Truly a better man. Just wow.
UPDATE 4: 5000% closer to my goal now passing 100 EUR, and another arbitrary milestone reached. This time I refuse to celebrate as I just humiliated myself for 35 EUR. This is not in the spirit of my goals. You are supposed to give me money without work.
