Tobi's Top Surgery FTM
Donation protected
Hello! My name is Tobias Norman, but you can call me Tobi, life is short after all. I am a Female to Male (FTM) Transgender man (Transman), I use he/him/his pronouns, I am 19 years old and live in England. I am currently taking testosterone, and I am so far 2 months in, but as my other features increase in masculinity, my chest dysphoria has unfortunately also been increasing - which is one of the many reasons I decided to create this fundraiser.
For extra information, my transition and other content is on my YouTube.
I have patiently been on the NHS waiting list since October of 2016! That's about two years ago! They told me earlier this year that my appointment would be in October but when I called them to confirm last week they told me that there would be another years wait on top of that, that's three years in total! So then, I immediately knew I couldn't wait any longer.
I had to go private... and pay for it in full myself...
I looked at the prices and realized that in just under a year I would need to raise around £7000 to cover all of the expenses.
I knew it couldn't be longer than a year, it had to be before the end of summer 2019 as I would be starting university, and there is no way I could afford and focus on both at the same time.
As you do, I was in a panic, but I put together a full plan to raise the money! and that plan includes working overtime, saving, budgeting and ofcourse - you lovely lot :)
Please help me get to where I need to be by graciously donating money to my GoFundMe, I really appreciate anything you have to give!
This surgery means everything to me.
Thankyou.
As a disclaimer, I have been diagnosed by a gender specialist in the private sector with having gender dysphoria and have been told by professionals after much evaluation that I am a transgender man. I have been living completely in my new name and gender for quite a few years now. I know the benefits, risks and possible outcomes that this surgery entails, so I am prepared and not jumping into something as serious as surgery without due thought.
I bind, and I have been binding my chest everyday for the past few years. It is starting to hurt. I have bruised my lungs, damage my ribs and inflammed my sternum on several occasions and its getting a bit ridiculous now. I wouldn't bind if I could help it, but the mental pain of chest dysphoria is worse than any physical pain I could experience and that is why I am so eager to get this surgery.
Yet again, this surgery means EVERYTHING to me.
So, for anyone still reading, or anyone that's vaguely interested, here's my story...
I grew up in a little town on the south coast of England, in a catholic convent school, on a hill, in the middle of nowhere. You could say it was a secluded childhood. We never left the grounds of the school much, I had a class of 20 girls, all of which were the only people I had ever known my age and as it was previously a boarding school, when I wasn't with my parents, I was brought up by nuns, ALL women too. I was the odd one out, the weird kid, and I think the other girls in my class could sense that. The only man I knew was my dad. So growing up surrounded by female nuns, in an all girls school, and only leaving at the age of 12, I didn't even know what boys were, let alone that I am one. And even if I wanted to, who could I ask about my gender? The nuns?
When I finally left the convent and went to a mixed-gender school it was all very new for me, and all very sudden. There was always something off but I still couldn't figure it out, even through senior school. I knew from the age of 14 I was bisexual, but I knew that wasn't all, there was something I couldn't put my finger on.
When I try to think about why it took me so long to discover who I was, as a transman, I realize it's almost impossible to know that the way I was feeling was any different to all the other girls around me, especially in a convent school where any lgbt representation is censored, and later, I had so many things distracting me, with issues in my family life and trouble with my peers at school, I didn't have any time to discover myself.
I have always been a feminine person though, I never minded dressing up or putting makeup on or playing the princess. And if I'm honest, I still do now.
So I realized something...
Up until a few years ago, I had been living my life in drag. The only difference is, at the end of the day drag queens can take off their wigs and their silicon breasts and go home to their life as some guy called Steve. But I can't, cause last time I checked, they're attached.
When everything settled down in my life and college began; by the end of the first year, I was 16, and I came out as a lesbian woman. As my best friend and I spoke about the other day, she knew that something was different about me and so did I. I thought being lesbian was it! The thing I've been searching for! But it was just yet another lie to myself, my best friend didn't believe it and soon nor did I, I've always liked men - probably too much for my own good. So, I came back out as bisexual.
After under a year had passed I met my first few transgender friends and I started to realize the possibilities of gender. I didn't even know questioning gender was an option before, but now there were limitless opportunities! I started dressing more and more masculine, and feeling more and more comfortable.
I had a few trans friends that were non-binary, so I became more familiar with that earlier on. I came out to myself as a non-binary demiguy at the beginning of summer 2016 when I had just turned 17 - meaning that I felt more like a man than a woman but I wasn't fully one or the other.
By the end of summer 2017, on one fateful night, I was browsing YouTube and came across a video of an FTM one year transition timeline by the youtuber TyTurner. I spent the rest of the night watching countless numbers of ftm transition videos, and by about halfway through my third video I burst out crying. I didn't know it was possible. I didn't know you could even do that, transition to become man?!
That was the day I realised I was a transman.
I had been asleep my entire life, and without even realizing it, one day, I finally woke up.
That is what it felt like to discover the thing that had been missing my entire life.
Soon after this, I came out to my friends who were so supportive, and my family, who are still working on it. It felt freeing. I found my new name Tobi, got myself on a gender clinic waiting list and started living my life with he/his/him pronouns once people got used to it.
I'll spare you the long sob story, but from September 2016 to June of this year, 2018 were the worst years of my life. As my female puberty developed, the gender dysphoria got worse, along with my mental health. I did many things that I regret in those years. But, I got myself through it, I stayed as strong as I could until I saw the light at the end of the tunnel in June 2018 (this year) and I finally took my first shot of Testosterone. It was a feeling of relief, after waiting for so many years. I have been living legally under my new name of Tobias Eli Norman and male gender (even on all my ID), and with every day that goes by, I am reassured that this is the right path for me.
Despite the brief calm, I know it isn't the end of the road. I still have my top surgery to go, and many more after that.
But for now I will put all my focus into raising this money so that I can get my surgery by the date I need it.
Fingers crossed! and thankyou for all the help <3
For extra information, my transition and other content is on my YouTube.
I have patiently been on the NHS waiting list since October of 2016! That's about two years ago! They told me earlier this year that my appointment would be in October but when I called them to confirm last week they told me that there would be another years wait on top of that, that's three years in total! So then, I immediately knew I couldn't wait any longer.
I had to go private... and pay for it in full myself...
I looked at the prices and realized that in just under a year I would need to raise around £7000 to cover all of the expenses.
I knew it couldn't be longer than a year, it had to be before the end of summer 2019 as I would be starting university, and there is no way I could afford and focus on both at the same time.
As you do, I was in a panic, but I put together a full plan to raise the money! and that plan includes working overtime, saving, budgeting and ofcourse - you lovely lot :)
Please help me get to where I need to be by graciously donating money to my GoFundMe, I really appreciate anything you have to give!
This surgery means everything to me.
Thankyou.
As a disclaimer, I have been diagnosed by a gender specialist in the private sector with having gender dysphoria and have been told by professionals after much evaluation that I am a transgender man. I have been living completely in my new name and gender for quite a few years now. I know the benefits, risks and possible outcomes that this surgery entails, so I am prepared and not jumping into something as serious as surgery without due thought.
I bind, and I have been binding my chest everyday for the past few years. It is starting to hurt. I have bruised my lungs, damage my ribs and inflammed my sternum on several occasions and its getting a bit ridiculous now. I wouldn't bind if I could help it, but the mental pain of chest dysphoria is worse than any physical pain I could experience and that is why I am so eager to get this surgery.
Yet again, this surgery means EVERYTHING to me.
So, for anyone still reading, or anyone that's vaguely interested, here's my story...
I grew up in a little town on the south coast of England, in a catholic convent school, on a hill, in the middle of nowhere. You could say it was a secluded childhood. We never left the grounds of the school much, I had a class of 20 girls, all of which were the only people I had ever known my age and as it was previously a boarding school, when I wasn't with my parents, I was brought up by nuns, ALL women too. I was the odd one out, the weird kid, and I think the other girls in my class could sense that. The only man I knew was my dad. So growing up surrounded by female nuns, in an all girls school, and only leaving at the age of 12, I didn't even know what boys were, let alone that I am one. And even if I wanted to, who could I ask about my gender? The nuns?
When I finally left the convent and went to a mixed-gender school it was all very new for me, and all very sudden. There was always something off but I still couldn't figure it out, even through senior school. I knew from the age of 14 I was bisexual, but I knew that wasn't all, there was something I couldn't put my finger on.
When I try to think about why it took me so long to discover who I was, as a transman, I realize it's almost impossible to know that the way I was feeling was any different to all the other girls around me, especially in a convent school where any lgbt representation is censored, and later, I had so many things distracting me, with issues in my family life and trouble with my peers at school, I didn't have any time to discover myself.
I have always been a feminine person though, I never minded dressing up or putting makeup on or playing the princess. And if I'm honest, I still do now.
So I realized something...
Up until a few years ago, I had been living my life in drag. The only difference is, at the end of the day drag queens can take off their wigs and their silicon breasts and go home to their life as some guy called Steve. But I can't, cause last time I checked, they're attached.
When everything settled down in my life and college began; by the end of the first year, I was 16, and I came out as a lesbian woman. As my best friend and I spoke about the other day, she knew that something was different about me and so did I. I thought being lesbian was it! The thing I've been searching for! But it was just yet another lie to myself, my best friend didn't believe it and soon nor did I, I've always liked men - probably too much for my own good. So, I came back out as bisexual.
After under a year had passed I met my first few transgender friends and I started to realize the possibilities of gender. I didn't even know questioning gender was an option before, but now there were limitless opportunities! I started dressing more and more masculine, and feeling more and more comfortable.
I had a few trans friends that were non-binary, so I became more familiar with that earlier on. I came out to myself as a non-binary demiguy at the beginning of summer 2016 when I had just turned 17 - meaning that I felt more like a man than a woman but I wasn't fully one or the other.
By the end of summer 2017, on one fateful night, I was browsing YouTube and came across a video of an FTM one year transition timeline by the youtuber TyTurner. I spent the rest of the night watching countless numbers of ftm transition videos, and by about halfway through my third video I burst out crying. I didn't know it was possible. I didn't know you could even do that, transition to become man?!
That was the day I realised I was a transman.
I had been asleep my entire life, and without even realizing it, one day, I finally woke up.
That is what it felt like to discover the thing that had been missing my entire life.
Soon after this, I came out to my friends who were so supportive, and my family, who are still working on it. It felt freeing. I found my new name Tobi, got myself on a gender clinic waiting list and started living my life with he/his/him pronouns once people got used to it.
I'll spare you the long sob story, but from September 2016 to June of this year, 2018 were the worst years of my life. As my female puberty developed, the gender dysphoria got worse, along with my mental health. I did many things that I regret in those years. But, I got myself through it, I stayed as strong as I could until I saw the light at the end of the tunnel in June 2018 (this year) and I finally took my first shot of Testosterone. It was a feeling of relief, after waiting for so many years. I have been living legally under my new name of Tobias Eli Norman and male gender (even on all my ID), and with every day that goes by, I am reassured that this is the right path for me.
Despite the brief calm, I know it isn't the end of the road. I still have my top surgery to go, and many more after that.
But for now I will put all my focus into raising this money so that I can get my surgery by the date I need it.
Fingers crossed! and thankyou for all the help <3
Organizer
Tobias Norman
Organizer
