Financial Management Certification

As for my personal story, I have known from a young age – even in elementary school that I was different (gay). From as far back as I can remember, my father had a history of dominating/controlling my entire family, but it was me who suffered the most – mainly because I was not as masculine as my father thought I should be. For this reason, he would often compare me to my brother and hit me with a bare hand as well as a belt because he felt that I was an embarrassment to the family. He felt and would verbalize that I simply needed tough treatment to make me more of a man. When I didn’t respond to this in the way he felt I should, he became intolerant of any behavior or mistake I would make – be it homework, sports, etc. He would often hit me and yell at me in front of my friends and family to the point of humiliation. I remember being so sad… I wanted to please him, but simply didn’t know how to do what he wanted. I was just being myself and wasn’t aware that my mannerisms were any different than anyone else. Additionally, my father would take me to our Mosque to meet with the Imam and his staff to provide me counsel relative to how I “must” change or face severe penalty – including being stoned if I continued down a path of acting feminine. Another example of his efforts to “make me a man” included sending me away to military school at the age of 12 . Finally, I did learn a way to survive, which meant simply being quiet, not interacting much, and simply hiding my feeling of being attracted to other boys. This did help a little, but the damage had been done in my town as my neighbors knew of my father’s treatment of me and therefore taunted me. I suffered from anxiety, panic attacks, as well as chronic bed wetting until I reached the age of 12– for which I was beaten every day.
At the age of 18, I graduated from High School and left for university (The International Higher Institute of Tourism, Tangier, Morocco). I did receive an Associates Degree in “Production and Sales Techniques” as well as a Bachelors Degree in “Administration and Management of Tourism and Hotel Business” from that same school. During this time, I did not live at home with my family and rarely returned home to visit my family. After graduating with my Bachelors Degree in 2008, I sought an opportunity to leave Morocco and come to the US to gain both life and work experience – which I did through an exchange program offered by Disney World, Orlando, FL. I just wanted to go somewhere that I could be myself without looking over my shoulder.

My dream came true with an opportunity with Disney. I departed Morocco on or about May 18th 2009. I completed the one-year exchange program with Disney – without incident. The experience was a total success. I immediately submitted paperwork to US immigration to change my Visa from a Q1 to a 6-month B-2 so that I could spend time with maternal Uncle. During this period of time, I stayed with my uncle and his family and he made me help him with his business a large Miami based valet parking company, providing valet services to numerous condo and offices in the Miami area). During this time, I submitted another request to modify my visa to a F1 so that I could attend a language school to improve my language skills (Inlingua School, Aventura, FL). I attended Inlingua from 1.2011 until 12.2011. Upon completion, I applied to change my visa's status again to B2 " visa tourist". At this point, I was simply trying to delay my return to Morocco.

During 2011, my uncle was pushing me to take the FL Driver test. I wasn’t really interested in having one and therefore didn’t apply myself. So, as no surprise, I failed the driver’s license test twice. Upon learning the results of the second failure, my uncle became enraged and became verbally abusive. He insisted that my parents were right and I was not a man. As a direct result of this episode, I had a severe anxiety / panic attack that evening that was so severe that my aunt called 911 and had an ambulance dispatched because I could not breath. While they did not transport me to the hospital, they talked with my aunt and uncle and said that I could not withstand any more pressure – and suggested that I see a doctor / specialist for my condition (which I did). On or about June 2012 – my Uncle confronted me about being gay. As it turns out, he and his wife accessed my “path social networking” account that I used to try to connect with other gay people so that I could be myself. There was no way to deny what they saw in my “path” profile – and they immediately notified my family back in Morocco. Additionally, my uncle told me to leave his home, as well as the Miami area because I was an embarrassment to our family. He threatened to kill me or have me hunted down and killed if I didn’t leave the area. For this reason, I obtained a restraining order against him within one month (June-July of 2012), i moved in with a boyfriend. Shortly after this, my father contacted me and also confronted about being gay. He informed me that he and my mother would not support me financially any more and that he would kill me as well if I returned to Morocco – that they had suffered enough from my existence – and would not suffer any additional embarrassment. I have been hospitalized 4 to 5 times between 2012 and 2014 for panic attacks.

I KNOW that if I am forced to return to Morocco, that my family (as well as Muslim Moroccan society at large) will cause my bodily harm at minimum, jail (3 to 5 years), but ultimately, I believe that my family will have me murdered before any of that occurs. Regardless, I know that I will never be able to live openly as a gay man in Morocco (any location) as it would result in ostracism and probable significant harm. I never heard of “Asylum” until a few weeks ago, or I would have applied when initially confronted by my uncle and father.

Although I am no longer partnered and living with a boyfriend, but I do have the emotional and temporary financial support of a dear friend of mine.

It is my sincerest desire to remain in the US so that I may complete my education and be a productive member of US society. I do not want to die. I am currently suffering from anxiety / panic attacks just from the thought of having to return to my country. I am educated and speak many languages fluently (Arabic, Spanish, French and, English).

As you may or may not know, education means everything for me, my next step is to reach my goal of getting my certificate in financial management with a focus on  becoming an effective leader and facilitator of performance improvement initiatives, organizational development projects, and change management strategies. If you are so generous as to help me achieve my longtime goal of making my dream comes true, and prove to whoever thinks ( included my family)that being a homosexual is a not a sin, there is nothing wrong with it, we all have hope and faith in this life and good people still exist in this world. Please do so by clicking the donate button. Any amount donated to my fund would be greatly appreciated, and will go farther than you can imagine. All donations would go directly toward funding my registration fees, books, exams and externship this upcoming calendar year. Thank you ahead of time for you consideration, support, and generosity with such an important next step in my life, it means more to me than you will ever know.