Fighting for a cure

I've started this go fund me not just for myself, but for my family. I'm not sure where this story should even begin so I'll begin with the worst of it. In 2010 I experienced a very devastating tragedy. My daughter, who was just under 2 years old, was murdered and passed away on Christmas eve. I'm honestly not sure if that is related or not but it could be and so I think it should be mentioned.  I'll spare any further details on that situation. Very shortly after this I got very sick. Sitting at the computer one day with my sister n law and bam. It hit me. I was throwing up for a week straight. Doctor at the time said it was the stomach flu. The usual, rest and get lots of fluid and you'll be fine. This was very early in 2011. Little did I know my life was changing forever. The vomiting would stop occasionally but it always came back. It always comes back. After all these years..its still comes back. I've spent hours on end vomiting and dry heaving when I couldn't vomit anymore. I started losing lots of weight, had been underweight for many years. No one could explain it. Multiple doctors, testing, poking and prodding and we get no answer at all. For 5 years I struggled with this sickness with no answer and no help from anyone at all. Ive been told many times that I can try the mayo clinic. Unfortunately it would cost me $5000. Which I obviously cant afford. But I never gave up. Even through crying, throwing up and the constant pain and fatigue that it caused, I kept going. For my son. He needed me as much as I needed him. Hed already lost his sister, I wasnt leaving him too. No matter how bad I wanted to. In 2012 I was diagnosed with h. Pylori. I thought I finally had answers. I treated for that and it seemed somewhat better. Tolerable at least. By some stroke of luck, I met my husband. Who has been an angel in disguise. I ended up having to file for bankruptcy because of the outrageous amount I owed in medical bills. He was always very supportive and helped greatly. Unfortunately, very shortly into our relationship, it started getting bad again.  In fact it seemed to get worse. Constant nausea, pain, burning sensations through my entire stomach. Weakness, fatigue, headaches, dizziness. Stabbing pains in my chest and gallbladder. I was losing my mind. Went to more doctors. Racked up more bills. Paid thousands of dollars out of pocket just for them to tell me they still didnt know what it was. I was fed up. I cried so much that they kept blaming my depression. Except I was crying because I was so so sick and I was so tired of hearing "i dont know" and "theres nothing we can do" or the infamous  "come back in a week if you dont feel better" I havent felt "better" in 8 years! I literally wanted to die because at least then i wasnt suffering. And my husband and son wouldnt have to sit and watch me suffer. Watch me throwing up over and over again. Them going to movies while i sit in the car puking my brains out for an hour straight. Or at social events going in and out of the bathroom 100 times because i dont know if I'm going to throw up again or not. Me being late and missing important things because I cant leave the house or even the bed without wanting to throw up. I've grown so accustomed to it that I'm afraid of leaving the house without my nausea meds and an emesis bag just in case. I fear everything. Social situations, group events, family gatherings. Throwing up and even food as much as I used to love it. In 2015 I was finally diagnosed by a gastroenterologist with gastroparesis. I know what your thinking. I was thinking it too. What the hell is gastroparesis? Well I'll tell you. In simplified terms, its paralysis of the stomach. But I dont feel like that definition gives any of us the credit we've earned. Gastroparesis is pain. Everywhere. All your muscles ache and cramp. Your stiff and sore and tired. It's dark circles under your eyes, pale skin, and losing hair because you cant keep the nutrients in your body that you need. Its spending many hours slumped over a toilet or garbage can begging god to just give you a break. Its losing friends and family because they just dont get it or just dont have time for boring friends. It's your husband sitting next to you wishing there was just something he could do. It's your 15 year old son who goes to school with anxiety because hes scared of whether or not his mom will be ok while hes gone. Its doctors asking the same questions over and over because they just dont know what to do.  Its feeling lonely and ashamed of something you have absolutely no control over. Its trying new and different medication in the hopes that any of it just might give you a little relief. And if I havent already mentioned. Its constant throwing up. And you'd think you'd run out of things to throw up however it doesnt stop it. And it always comes back. Lately I've had more symptoms coming up and quite honestly I'm scared. Very itchy skin, rashes, chest pain and most recently swollen ankles. The last doctor I seen said she doesnt know what it is but she can tell it's getting worse. Yes, I cried again. But I still never quit. And I dont plan to. But it's getting out of hand. Anyone who knows me, knows I hate to ask anyone for anything. Im a firm believer in working hard to take care of yourself and your family. And I have always done my best to do that. My husband too. Unfortunately he was recently laid off. He is looking for work but we are in a bind. Because of the extensive amount of money I owe due to all of these doctors visits, I am unable to help. Even if I tried to just not pay them, they'd garnish me. Believe me I've tried. I dont know what will happen next, all I know is I'm running out of options. My goal here is to raise enough money to pay some of the medical bills to allow enough room to be able to pay our bills and rent and just maybe attempt to live a normal life. I appreciate all of you who took the time to read my story.
Gastroparesis is a rare disorder, affecting approx 5 million people. There are very few treatment options, most of which are risky and there is no known cure. There is no information on it. Doctors aren't informed of it, nor are they trained to deal with it. There is a great lack in education and research for this disease. They do not know what causes it or what helps determine who gets it. I am currently a member of a group that is fighting to get this recognized. So many have suffered and even died. Children, teens, adults. August is gastroparesis awareness month and if all this GoFundMe does is spread awareness, then I will I take what I can get. But i cant just sit and suffer in silence anymore. We are all fighting for a cure and we wont give up!