I Just want to hear his voice :(

  My Name is Jessica D. Carter, The Overly-Bearingly Cuddly & Smothering. I'm So Proud To Entroduce Myself as the One, and the Very Only One Who is and has Been Running This Campain to Make Sure He at Least gets the Chance to Get the Proffesional Treatment that DEFINITELY Should've been Given to Him Specifically Right After, (No Longer Than Two Weeks) of the Encountered Sexual and Incestial Molestation that happened at his age at 4 years old under his fathers' care.

                    ...Guys,

If The Were ONE THING I Could Wish I had had                          

My Days of Childhood?????Psychological & Psychiatric Team of Mental Health                   Professionals My Weekly Case Worker. 

 My son, for three years and two months, has been completely alienated from not only his mother, but the whole side of my family. I have recordings where he says "if it wasn't for my lawyer, you wouldnt be in his life period", after admitting I was NEVER a bad mom, that the reason was "You started it". My perfect angel is being manipulated and forced to choose sides between his own mother and father, He clearly states I get two days a month for five hours supervised, and you phone calls and that is all you're EVER going to get again.

     Toxic environtment

 I "started it" because my son was molested by his older halfbrother and caught, and his father called me. I set down two rules. Never EVER leave them unsupirvised again, and get my son into therapy. His father is a registered sex offender for two counts of child molestation with a 15 year old girl. My son showed me his room a few weeks later and there were still two beds. End of story, I'm protecting my son..

       Who brings a four year old to COURT?

 He had a family with money, I had none. He played dirty against me the worst way trying to get a restraining order against me for my own child. After the judge dropped the case, my son seemed to be literally TERRIFIED of me he wouldn't let me touch him.. Hid behind his now "new" mom for safety. Shaking... Growling at me. 

   The moment I lost my heart

 That was the lowest of the low anyone could've gotten. Teaching a 4 year old baby boy to think his mom... the mom who's NEVER done anything for him to be afraid of at all... I could fight that fight ... but I couldn't handle seeing my son afraid of me. That moment

Tore me to pieces. 

I can't compete with brainwashing a toddler. 

I could never do such a thing!

   I lost the battle.

I had zero notice of the final hearing, or I would've had someone fax a dr's note. I ended up losing myself, as I lost the one life I promised to protect, and I failed.  I attempted suicide, I went to get help just because i was suicidal and needed help... I was in a series of being in a psychiatric stabolization unit, and with no one at all at the trial.. nothing to show my side, he got lucky and won full sole physical and legal custody. 

I may have lost the battle

That day he called and told me. But wouldn't tell me my rights, as it clearly states that he must in the agreement. I had to wait a year and a half and finally got my own copy, and requested that they be followed FINALLY, after putting myself through drug treatment.. mental health treatment.. passed like a champ.. did everything they would've had me do, Even went to 12 hours of parenting classes.  EVEN went to anger management for two YEARS, grief and loss group, staying clean,  .. That place was my "hangout".. Bettering myself every way I knew possible. Still to this day keep a therapist and an inhome weekly caseworker helping me when/if I need her. 

Patience, Studying civil law, and Obtaining PROOF


(Would not let me go for one hour.. he's almost the same weight as me already! Begging to go home with mommy. "please dont go mommy")

PLEASE I don't know how else to say this. I need help, BAD. I'm so worried about him and they wont even allow me at their house.. wont allow me their address to write letters.. as he says "In our world, you don't exist"... I'm NEVER giving up on my baby. EVER. PLEASE HELP ME save my son, I have no IDEA if the molesting is still going on, I have two prescribed emotional support cats because being a mom is the ONLY thing I am... TWO of the strongest doses of antidepressants, hard mood stabolizers, antinxiety pills four times a day for the worry and fear for my son, and tranquilizors to sleep, or i'll cry untill I can finally sleep... and bloodpressure lowers so I dont wake up drenched in sweat from a night terror about my son being hurt.  This cannot keep going on. I tried to protect him and they used HIM against me. 

The reason I'm begging for help now

 It tore me apart so bad I had my tubes tied because I never wanted to feel the pain of losing them. Now my husband and I cannot concieve. He'd be an AMAZING dad. ...and that baby would be gorgeous. He keeps me from letting his dad tell me I'm "crazy" a "deadbeat mom" How did me trying to protect him from being molested get so turned around? Someone PLEASE help me end this. PLEEEEASE I'm literally begging for help. I know how to file, which I have to do soon to show him I'm serious.. but I KNOW I wont be able to do this without a great lawyer to tell my side the right way and a lawfirm KNOWN to never back down and FIGHT for what's best for the children.  I have nowhere else to turn. Please please please help me save my son from this emotional abuse/neglet. 

 MY SON DESERVES JUSTICE

  I need a lawyer who will FIGHT for me, and that one seems to be the best in all the state, so pretty expensive.. but they have money and I dont... and I REALLY need all the help I can get right now. Since I'm the only one willing to do what's in my SONS best interest, I'm never going to settle for anyone who's going to only give me "unsupervised visits". No, I've got all the physical evidence I need to prove that he is in contempt of court, and MORE than enough professionals willing to testify my groundbreaking success given such a toxic situation. Me? WHAT ABOUT MY SON WHO LIVES IN IT? Oh my someone please a dollar helps. Anything helps, I swear. Just help me get him the help and the love he deserves.. to be with the one who ALWAYS put him before her own needs and wants. 

Now Mommy's Still here, Ready for the WAR. 

He won the battle..

He hurt my son and we're only beginning to see the symptoms. 

I WILL WIN THE WAR!

Only then can I help him ... Only then can the healing begin. Still allowing sleepovers with bubby... just in different rooms and always supervised.. Their whole family wil be welcome into my home to see them ANY TIME they ask.. but supervision has to be a must after this inhumanity towards using a childs innocence for your own Selfish needs. But NEVER will I keep him from the people he loves. He loves them, We'll find a way. Because HE comes first. NO ONE ELSE.

Thank you so so much for reading this I know it's long but I still left SO MUCH out to stop crying. Help me be the mom I promised I would be.. Please help him get back to his mommy.