Street Family Safety & Housing Fund
Hello and thank you for taking the time to read our story!
I have spent the past 2hrs reading through various Gofundme pages, saying little prayers for those in need as I go along. It is very sad and heartbreaking to see so many people and families facing devastation, illnesses and loss.
I have been debating with myself for some time about posting our need for help. I've tried Gofundme in the past but was unsuccessful. I was new to the site and, after creating my page, didn't know what to do next to get the help we needed.
I don't have many friends and am not much of an outgoing, social butterfly. When I am not at work, I am home with my children.
My attempts to share my page and get the help we needed at the time failed. We were forced to move back in with my ex and it was hell. I dreaded going back but I had no other options at the time.
It took awhile to get back on my feet. Eventually I found a great job and moved my family out and into a small apartment.
However, once you open a can of worms its kinda hard to close it again.
My ex is a nightmare to deal with. He is mentally and emotionally abusive. Its been almost 4yrs since he's hit me so I won't say he's physically abusive but I know that he is capable of getting that angry. I just try to be as passive and nonconfrontational as possible until we are able to move far away from him.
You may wonder why I just don't cut all contact with him and get a restraining order. Well, being in my shoes, it is easier said than done.
We have a child together that he does support. When needed, he has also helped me financially with my other 2 children. Getting a restraining order and filing for child support, like my family suggests, will make things worse between he and I.
No one understands that it is safer and easier to just be passive and not feed into or feul his foolishness. I have a plan to end this situation. I just need help executing it.
I left once before, when he hit me 4yrs ago. After some time, he apologized for what he did. I didn't go back but we kept in contact due to our son.
One day I made the mistake of taking someone's advice and filed for child support. When he received the notice in the mail from Family Court he flipped his wig. We both received the notice on a Friday. He became a belligerent monster. All weekend I was cussed out, called all sorts of derogatory names, wished all sorts of ill will and threatened to no end. That Monday I withdrew my petition for support and he calmed down.
He isn't a bad father. He's never hurt or harmed any of my children, physically or verbally. Anything our son needs he provides. But for the longest, he made me feel guilty about the whole child support thing. He believes, since he does do his part as a father, there's no reason to get the government involved.
His mental and emotional abusive towards me isn't a constant thing but every couple of weeks there is a blow up and it is progressively getting worse and worse.
We live 10mins from each other and work for the same company. I love my job and the benefits are great so quitting and finding a new job is not an option.
Recently, my company had an opening for an out of state position for which I have applied to, interviewed for and was offered the job. I'll be making a few dollars more and will have better working hours. Of course, I have not shared this news with my ex.
I wholeheartedly believe moving out of state is our only and best option. He may be crazy but I know him well. If he finds out beforehand, then yes, he will try to stop me. But, if he finds out after the fact he will not follow me or stalk me.
He is in management at our company. He has a lot to lose. So his craziness will only go so far. But, he will probably try to continue his mental/emotional abuse and threats via telephone... and I plan on changing my number after we move.
Now, here is where my problem comes in. My company only offers a relocation package to management level personnel. I've tried with no luck to see if they could make an exception. Therefore, the cost of moving my family of 4 out of state falls 100% on me.
The General Manager does not know my whole story but knows I am a single Mom who needs time to move her family and transition before I can start. He has not given me a deadline or firm start date as of yet but I'm pretty sure he will not hold the position indefinitely.
This is where we need your help. I have done tons of research and have found an affordable home but I don't have anything in savings to make this move happen.
I want nothing more than to have a better, safer life for my children and I.
Even the smallest amount would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for taking the time to read our story! Please do share our page.
**FYI, I have also posted my response below under 'Updates' should anyone else have the same questions or concerns.** Hello Mr. Lin! I see you have a few questions regarding my situation and need some clarification. I am more than happy to do that for you. However, I must say, it would have been a bit nicer if you would have just asked your questions instead of trying to publicly embarrass me or insinuate that we are not in need of the help we are seeking. Your concerns are valid but the tone in your message was a bit off putting. Now, my idea and your idea of a good job may vary. Currently, I make between $32-36k (before taxes/medical/union dues, etc.). For a family of 4, that's not a lot but I am able to cover the bills. There isn't much of anything left after bill paying and such. Hence, why I only have $19 in savings. To me, I have a great job... compares to my neighbors who are either unemployed and living off of a government check or have a low paying job and are struggling just to cover their rent. Yes, I will receive a raise of about $6000 or so, before taxes. I am excited to be able to start actually being able to put money into my savings account instead of slowly pinching away from it. You mention charging everything off onto credit cards. Is that really such a good idea? Wouldn't I be setting myself up for financial failure and ruining the progress of getting my credit in good status? I do have 4 credit cards ranging from a $300 limit to an $800 limit. To be honest, I'm trying to pay them down, not max them out, to improve my credit score. Next, you mentioned renting a U-haul truck. I absolutely intend on doing that. Unfortunately, to rent a large truck one way and drive it from Pennsylvania to Florida will cost a couple of thousand, not hundred. Also, I have a 4yr old and a 6yr old, both of whom require car seats that cannot be placed in the front of a U-haul truck. Also, my 4yr old has an issue with car sickness. I would have to stop every few hours and overnight it half way there. A 16-18hr road trip is too much for him. My plan was to ask a family member to watch them while I drive to Florida solo. Hire someone to help me offload the U-haul truck. Drive back, return the truck and fly the 4 of us down to our new home. I do not currently own a car so flying will be easiest on the children. Now in regards to your comment about my ex being a saint, I said he was a good father who financially takes care of our son and, on occasion, my other two children. What I didn't mention is the quality time he puts in with his son. Why? Because it doesn't happen. If our son needs winter clothes, he gets it. If I need help covering the weekly daycare payment, he takes care of it. But spending actually time with our son doesn't happen. He may be a good father for pitching in financially but he's not a great father. Moving on to explain why I am seeking the sum I have posted... the rental that I have found requires first month, last month and a security deposit equal to one month's rent. Because my credit score is in the mid-500's, I am required to pay an additional month's security deposit. As I previously mentioned, the actual moving expenses will run a few thousand (not hundred, as you claim). This covers the U-haul truck, mileage from PA to FL back to PA, gas, tolls, movers to help me offload our furniture and belongings, and airfare for the 4 of us after I return the moving truck. It also roughly covers a month of daycare since it will probably take 2-3 weeks to receive my first paycheck once I start working in my new position. I am also financially responsible for covering the remainder of my current lease per our contract. I will also need to set aside about $90-100 to cover public transportation for the first month, as I mentioned not already having a car. That will leave me about $500-550 for an emergency contingency. Being in a new place with 3 children and no family or friends close by will be a scary adjustment. I understand your concern and need for clarification, Mr Lin. But you must put yourself in my shoes as a single parent with limited resources and family support. I can maintain once we get there and the paychecks start coming in. Its the getting from here to there with 3 children in tow that is the challenge. I want this to be as seamless as possible for them. This move will affect them as well. Thank you for taking the time to read our story! I have given a lot of personal information, perhaps too much, but I wanted you to understand my current situation more clearly and why we are in need of such a sum. Enjoy the rest of your weekend! ;-)
There's no way that it will cost $15K to move and if you have a good-paying job and have a raise coming, you could just charge the cost of the move on your credit card. In the worst case, you just need to rent a U-Haul for couple of days and you are talking about couple hundred dollars to move , not $15K. And your ex sounds like a saint if he supports two children that are not even his.